There Goes Another

 

So another little birdie has left the nest. This one literally flew very very far away, practically to the other side of the world. I told myself I wouldn't be a cry-baby (again), like it was with no. 1 princess more than a year ago. But the tear-ducts went into auto-gear anyway as I prayed a mama's blessing over my no. 2 princess a couple of days before she walked out of my life. Ok, ok, I know, it's not like it's forever. Sure, she will come back now and then (more like then, I am sure; as good intentions don't necessarily translate into action). Anyway for what it's worth, the emotion feels like forever. 

About two weeks earlier, I had "invited" all 3 of my very grown-up children for a home-cooked dinner and requested for a heart-to-heart talk with them. Yes, I do make appointments to see them. Weird, right. Well, I  recognize it's a totally different generation from mine. Besides just because they are my children doesn't mean I shouldn't accord them the respect due to them as adults in their own right. After all, they have got their own lives to live, choices to make,  their own time to manage, their own things to do.  

It wasn't an easy conversation, at least not for me. The last time I had this kind of talk was years ago when no 1 princess told me off for "lecturing" her about heaven and hell. I still remember her very words, "If I choose to go to hell, it's my right." I knew straight away then it was no point talking about it anymore. I am sure God Himself would agree with her view; even though He is much grieved about her stand, as I am too. But now, some 10 years down the line, I had felt the burden to speak out to all 3, for I knew in my spirit there was no more time or opportunity; I had to do it now or never. 

So as is my lawyer-style of doing things, I prepared what I wanted to say. But as usual, God intervened and had better plans...like reducing me to tears even at the start, when I told them straight off this would be the last time I would talk with them on the issue. Instead of a nice, orderly flow of eloquent words,  I sniffled my way through with some Bible verses and a simple declaration from a mother's heart - I love you all, and I don't want to lose any of you. 

No, I didn't quote from Genesis to Revelation. No, I didn't re-hash what they already knew from their younger years spent in  Sunday school/church about Jesus, the only God who saves all who choose to come to Him. I just told them the world is coming to an end, according to the Word of God, that is the Truth. And that divine judgement is a certainty. Even if people don't believe. God and Truth doesn't depend on anyone's belief.  Any Christian worth his salt doesn't need any pastor or prophet to tell him the signs written in the Bible thousands of years ago by long-ago people totally unconnected with our modern world are evident and are being manifested in this season all over the earth. Heck, you don't even need to be a Christian to know something is seriously wrong with our world. And I am not talking about climate change - that's the least of them all. 

"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty, For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. " Sounds very much like our world, right. No, that's not my description. Those words were spoken 2000+ years ago by a man named Paul, an ex-murderer turned lover of God and people, preserved in writing for posterity to read in 2 Timothy 3:1-5. And that's not even going to the pestilences, earthquakes, famines, wars, rumors of wars and persecution already mentioned by Jesus as the "beginning of sorrows" (Matthew 24) 

No, I didn't bore my children with all that "jazz." I simply told them Jesus is coming back very soon, so please repent while there's still time. Otherwise I will lose them, for unless they do,  they will not be able to make it to where I will be, waiting for them with their father, my husband and the little brother they never knew they had. I told them their mother hasn't gone mad reading too much Bible, praying too long or doing all that "holy-moly" stuff. In fact I told them their mother is definitely no saint; quite the opposite. If only they knew what their mother had done in her pre-Christian days. Even now, after walking 20 years down the road of faith, I am far from perfect. If Paul the great apostle acknowledged himself as the worst of sinners, then I don't know where to hide my face. But by the love of God and the grace of Jesus Christ, their mother (and father) is saved to glory. To dwell in a much much better world than this one. And I want all my children to be there with us both, forever. 

I know they know I love them very much. As a mother, my only desire is for them to experience the breadth, length, height and depth of the love of a God who is Father to the fatherless and a defender of widows, a love that surpasses all human love and knowledge. 

I don't know what my children thought of our tete-a-tete. That was it. Short, definitely not sweet, and definitely not a normal family conversation. But these are not normal times we live in. We are never going back to the good, old, normal days of life. Covid is but the starting point, and if even that we can't take, what more the worse that's to come. When all humans will have to stand to account for his life before a holy, righteous God, Judge of the living and the dead. A depressing future indeed, unless we choose to call upon Jesus, the name that's above every other name, the only name under heaven given to men by which we can be saved. The One who has declared that He has plans to prosper, not to harm, to give us a future and a hope, that's grounded on who He is, not on what humans can do (and will keep on trying to do.)

There was a lump in my throat as I hugged my no.2 goodbye at 4 am in the morning today. I couldn't sleep after that. I went into her room, sat awhile on her bed. Peered into the half-empty cupboards that used to overflow with her clothes. Poked in her bathroom a bit. The house seems too big now for my son and I. Who knows when that last little birdie will fly out the door too one of these days. I wipe away the tears that have started to fall again, and tell myself I better get used to talking to our 2 cats now.