The Family

It was only up on stage with a whole bunch of people dancing as if there was no tomorrow that I got the message. As we followed the lead dancer twirling, feet tapping, arms swinging, our bodies trying to keep time and motion, we were all singing or rather shouting 'the family is free', suddenly the word came to me, for me ... MY family is free...my personal family, my work-family, my M'sia-family ... is free. They had called specifically for M'sians to come on stage, to celebrate M'sia day and to pray for our nation. There were 24 countries represented at this Spore gathering. And they all stood with us as the worship team led everyone to sing Negara Ku. I was crying hidden at the back.

 It wasn't the only time I found myself crying over the 3 days I was there. I hadn't known what to expect since this was the first time I was attending such a thing. In fact I had never heard of 'family gatherings' till June 2015 when I was sailing on the high seas on a very special cruise  .  I knew of course there would be lots of worship, but this was at such an exuberant energetic level I can only term it as electrifying, literally. It's totally wild to say the least... at the opening session, there were thousands of hands in the air all over the stadium-turned-sanctuary, hundreds packed at the front altar, all moving in tandem with the team on stage. It wasn't a conference, there was no fixed agenda, no lengthy sermons. It was simply... a family of God gathering to honor God.  Instead of being stuck at home on M'sia Day, fearing a racial riot and worrying over the state of my beloved nation, I spent 3 days in the presence of God together with His family of believers, seeking His face, praying desperate prayers for desperate times such as these that we live in.

The theme was simply returning to the Father. And that was exactly what was done, reconciling the generations, reconciling nations back to one another and to a Father God who loves us all.  To see S'pore pastors up there on stage weeping for the sins of their church and country, repenting of pride and arrogance... to watch the Japanese reps kneeling prostrate as they publicly acknowledged and apologized for their nation's guilt in the 2nd World War .. hearing real-life stories of S'poreans hurt by their occupation..how not to cry? And that was just for starters....by the time each generation was called out...when old men, women, young adults, down to teenagers took their turns at the altar throughout the sessions, hearing testimonies of how parents misjudged their children and how (now grown-up) children turned away from their elders, I was totally convicted of my own sin. I knew there were major heart issues I needed to resolve with my staff at work and my children at home when I returned. But with the tears, there was released reconciliation, hope and love.  As the apostle Paul puts it aptly, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."- 2 Corinthians 7:10 . And the finale was so fitting - bringing the children and babies - the generation of the future - to be blessed.

I heard someone in the toilet mention she couldn't see what all the hype was; it was just dancing and singing, confessing and repenting. I guess some people don't 'get' it. It's like asking what good is praying, or what good is God, for that matter. To the casual observer, it's just one noisy concert, much like any other worldly performance. All that forgiveness talk and 'making-up' hugs were just another 'emo' high, a psychological booster so everyone could feel good at the end of the day. But those who know, know that's not it. At least for me, it went beyond an experiential exercise that tugged merely at  my heart-strings. King David describes it , " as a deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God? ...Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. Psalm 42:1-3, 7

Worshipping and soaking in God's presence released a travail in my spirit. The Bible likens it to a mother giving birth. And that was exactly what it felt like, as wordless prayers seem to literally burst out of my stomach. Sighs and moans, a pain tugging at the bowels. It wasn't comfortable, it was...gut-wrenching. Deep calling to deep. Spirit connecting to Spirit. Something atheists and non-believers will never understand or even care to understand. Man acknowledges only the seen and denies the unseen, simplistically assuming that the unseen must mean it's not real because it's unproven, according to his terms of proof. Well, things of the spirit can never be seen in the first place,but they are as real to me as the things that I can see...

A point brought home to me when our windscreen was shattered by a stone as we drove past Ayer Keroh on the way back. Thank God the glass held up. Interestingly (not coincidentally, I believe), the whole piece was totally shattered, but there were a few holes positioned strategically on the driver and passenger side, that gave a limited view of the road ahead. Our driver was having difficulty seeing because the broken glass pieces were reflecting and blinding his view. But the holes were just big enough for him to focus on the road immediately ahead, and that was enough to get us home slowly.

 I guess it's kinda like that with spiritual things. God allows us to see just that much in the physical; we cannot see the rest. But we don't really need to, if we can trust that He will get us home safely. That's what God is all about in essence - a Father who just wants to see His children come home, for no other reason than that He loves them.


" And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers" - Malachi 4:6