The Million $ Question - When?

Once again man has been proven wrong. So how come humans never learn? Forget it, dumb question. What is this unending fascination with when the world will end? Perhaps it has something to do with the insatiable human appetite to wonder about and/or fear of the unknown future. Or maybe perhaps it's just that some people really have got nothing else better to do with their time than countdown a calendar. Definitely the Bible has something to do with it, since an entire Book made up of 22 chapters no less, is devoted to discussing it. But before we blame it all on God (as humans are ever quick to do), it would do the world a lot of good to remember the 1 most important clue that is most often ignored which Jesus already disclosed 2012 years ago to a group of eager-beaver disciples wanting to know when the end of the world would come - 'No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father' (Mat.24:36) . I don't know how much clearer can that get.
Still doomsday predictions have abounded in the past, and no doubt will continue to abound in the future. An old high-school fren commented that even tho he woke up on 22.12.2012 to find he was still alive, the hoax did make him appreciate life and this world a little bit more. Cynics and skeptics on the other hand would have wagged their fingers and tongues delightedly to find yet another reason to disbelieve and probably throw another party to celebrate life like there is no tomorrow.

At the risk of being accused as one of those doomsday prophets, I had to tell my on-line frens that to me, it wasn't a hoax. After all, everything has a beginning and an end. Movies, books, events. Seasons come, seasons go, the sun rises and sets. So why should we assume that this world will go on forever? The world will end one day; it's only a matter of when. I believe it not because of some mind-blowing scientific/astronomic evidence that a comet is gonna drop out of the sky and pulverize entire cities (I think they say the next big one is already heading our way and should make it to earth by late 2013) or some humanistic theory that planet earth can't sustain  life anymore the way we are raping, abusing, misusing and just plain messing it up (which is true and logical anyway). I believe it becoz God's Word can't be wrong. Do I have proof? Nah. But I have learnt what can't be 'proven' according to human criteria doesn't mean it ain't true. There is only 1 irrefutable way to prove the end of the world anyhow - when it happens. If it doesn't happen, well, so I have believed in error and you can call me a deluded fool. But if it does happen, who then is the fool for not believing?

To some I guess it makes no difference. Whether or not the world ends , our 'job' is just to live life well whilst we still draw breath on this earth. And that's absolutely as it should be. I still remember an ex-colleague of mine from my corporate days trying to console me as I was struggling to accept my husband's cancer. He was like my husband, young in the prime of life, and he too had cancer. He said, "It's not the number of years we live, it's how well we live that matters." But what does it mean to 'live well'?

At one time, to me living well meant having a secure job, loving relationships, minimum stress and maximum pleasure. Nothing wrong with that, I might say. But add God to the equation and my perspectives about a life 'well-lived' changed. For one, He says He's got plans to prosper and never to harm me. The only catch is His idea of prosperity and harm differs greatly from mine. I would like power to change others, to change the world into a better place, but instead He gives me power to change myself. And I am learning daily that my Father in heaven really does know best. He is the author of this story- book entitled my life, and if I let Him, He will complete it well as only He knows how. The times I have snatched the pen out of His hands and insisted on writing my own version of life have only led me down paths I have oft regretted. But He is ever gracious, every time anytime I realize my folly, He simply welcomes me back and nudges me back to the right path again, onward to the final destination. Every journey must have a destination after all; else we would just be running around in circles. So too with this journey called life.

The final destination is the be all and end all of existence itself. But life's final destination isn't just death, as the movie of that title portrayed it. If it were, then there is really not much point in life, no matter how well- meaning we try to live it, is there? If all that awaits the human being is to return from ashes to ashes, dust to dust, however we live this life is gonna end up zilch anyway since everyone is just going to rot eaten up by maggots end of the day. Where is the significance of life in that?

God says there is more than this life on earth, so much more, if we care to know it. God talks of eternity, something that's totally alien to a human mind which can only measure time in finite seconds, minutes, hours, days or years. That's why the wisest king on earth wistfully pens, "He has set eternity into the hearts of man, yet they cannot understand what God has done from beginning to end "(Ecc. 3:11) When we live with eternity in sight, we see this earthly life quite differently. Living well becomes not just living as best we can, doing as much good as we can, (that's only the barest minimum), hoping that somehow if there is a heaven, we will make it there on our best self-effort. In a world where there's no guarantee of anything, God's guarantee of eternity stands firm, planted on a cross on a hill-top called Calvary, in a Man named Jesus who died sealing it as a done deal. It isn't a mere wishy-washy, cross your fingers kind of hope. It's a certainty born out of knowing and believing a God we can trust, becoz He has already proven His love for us, for "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life" (John 15:13).

Thankfully, His death wasn't the end; if it was, then Christianity would just be a dead religion with a dead God. When Jesus rose from the dead, He opened the door to eternity for those who would take His hand and walk through it. That's the final destination of those who are willing to believe. What a fantastic finale to a life lived well on earth - preparing for an even better life in the world to come. In the words of the apostle Peter, " Since everything will be destroyed.... what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming . But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness" (2 Peter 3:11-13). Crazy fella, how can he want to 'speed up' the end of the world?? I guess becoz he's caught the vision of a glorious eternity, grounded in the one and only, true and living God. Call him (and I) crazy, but that's a vision which takes away every fear, even as another new year rolls in.....

I dunno if there will be anybody around to give out a million bucks to the person who correctly answers the question when the world will end. But there is another much more pressing question that needs to be answered right now by all of us, since the prize is the inestimable cost of our soul - on which side of eternity are we standing - with or without God?

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away...  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'.... Revelation 21:1,3-4

 

Mercy, Grace and Justice

I didn't know superheroes can sing, and sing very well at that. Hugh Jackman aka Wolverine of X-Men mesmerized me with his vocal prowess singing his soul out as Jean Valjean in the cinematic take of the famed Les Miserables opera. So did the other protagonist Russell Crowe, in fact so did all the rest of the supporting cast, whose voices blended in rich resonance to re-tell Victor Hugo's famous classic tale of a thief who after his release breaks parole, but made good, yet is haunted or rather hunted down by his old jailor amidst the background of pre-French Revolution social activism. I barely noticed how long the show was, although for some people I am sure it was a drag, as 3 hours of continuous song and dance can be pretty boring if you don't particularly fancy musicals. Personally, I enjoyed not only the excellent voices, especially the duets and harmonies, but also the fine acting, which i venture touched many a heart in the audience as i heard sniffles besides my own.

After all who can fail to be affected by the vivid realism portrayed of the oppression of so-called lower classes of society - the convicts, prostitutes, poor and hungry dying on the streets? Who will not be aroused to sympathize with the idealism espoused by the young, even kids, willing to believe in and die defending a cause bigger than themselves? Who will not root for a fallen hero who finds his redemption becoz someone chose to show him mercy instead of the condemnation he knows he deserves? Even the 'villain' attracts sympathy; we can fault Javert the cop for being over-zealous in applying the law, but we can't fault him for being right to execute his duty under the law.

It really doesn't matter why the law was broken or that amends were made, the point is the law was broken which consequence is punishment. That's what makes law law. The fact that Jean stole bread for his sister's son, served his 19 years, turned over a new leaf to become a good compassionate guy, fulfilling his promise to a dying prostitute to take care of her only daughter, saving someone's life, even refusing to take revenge on his jailor who insists on making his life hell, cannot take away the facts that he did break parole, he did steal (again), and he did live a life of deception as far as the law was concerned. A good prosecutor will tell you all that 'emo' stuff only goes towards mitigation and a fair judge would still have to pass sentence. That's why Javert is so right, and Jean knew it. The climatic moment was his cry as he pondered whether to let an innocent man be blamed for his offense - Who am I?

Who are we? Surely there must come a time in everyone's life we are faced with that question. Are we really that 'nice' 'harmless' person we profess to be and indeed for all intents and purposes appear to be? Well, I dunno about you, but I am no criminal for sure. I don't kill, murder, plunder.  I give to charity, volunteer my Saturdays feeding the poor, and am even kind to stray cats. So...big deal, God's prophet pronounces the truth - 'The heart (that's me, by the way) is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jer.17:9). Who am I trying to kid but myself? When I am inclined to pat myself on the back for being 'so' good, my memory bank screams out an alert regarding all the 'bad' I have accumulated over 50 years of living, and once again I am reminded of how great is the mercy I have received from God that He hasn't punished me as I deserve. Like the bishop who chose to cover up for Jean even tho he was guilty of stealing his benefactor's silverware and declared, '...My brother....You no longer belong to evil...I have ransomed you from fear and hatred, and now I give you back to God', I am reminded that's exactly what Jesus did for me.  If I were to pinpoint the most significant moment of the movie, I would say this was it - the point when a man, knowing he has run afoul of the law, deserving and expecting punishment, instead gets saved by the very hands of the one he wronged. He was shown mercy and given grace. Someone put it very simply "Mercy is when you don't get what you deserve, and grace is when you get what you don't deserve". That's what a convict got - instead of rotting in prison, he was set free, instead of death, he got to live. And Jean Valjean learnt the lesson well - he in turn extended mercy and grace to his arch enemy Javert when he could have killed him off, held as he was as a prisoner of the rebel upstarts.

And so it is with the rest of us . Jean Valjean is but a reflection of the entire human race. All of us already stand (rightfully) condemned before God's court of law for there is no one who can ever claim to have done zero wrong (whether it is 'big' or 'small' wrong, is still wrong). So if God were like Javert, He would have - indeed He has - every good reason and right to refuse to let us live , since the divine law prescribes that the wages of sin is death. Someone commented on the incomprehensibility of Javert walking away and ultimately committing suicide when he clearly had the upper hand over Jean as the latter was desperately trying to rescue his adopted daughter's wounded boyfren. He could have either arrested Jean on the spot or postponed the arrest as requested, why instead did he have to kill himself? If we can't 'get' it, that means we have failed to appreciate the tension tugging at Javert's heart. We fail to see that he really couldn't live with either option. To arrest Jean meant condemning the one to whom he owed his life. To let Jean go free meant he would be condoning the breaking of the law of which he was sworn to uphold. He said it himself - 'it's a pity the law doesn't allow me to be merciful'. So our tormented tormentor throws himself into the raging sea to end the dilemma of choice.

So it is with God as He looks on our sinful estate. If He lets man off the hook, He is breaking His own law. If He exercises just judgment, He has to punish man to death, in effect destroying the beloved 'crown jewel' of His creation - us. Someone put it very simply - God loves us but He cannot Not punish us, if He is to be a just God. I am reminded of how my mom used to run after me with a cane whenever I got into mischief - which was often enuf. I had no doubt she loved me, but she didn't spare the rod. Thankfully we don't have to run from God, for He Himself provided the escape route for us, yet at the same time fulfilling His law. In His grace and mercy He spared us, but He requited the punishment due us onto Jesus Christ. Certainly it wasn't fair on Jesus. But it was never about fairness with God; it's always been about justice and mercy. At the cross justice kissed mercy, and man is enabled to be reconciled to God.

We can only come to the Cross when we realize the import of this truth as we see ourselves the way God sees us. And when we do, there is only 1 appropriate response to the mercy and grace of God available to all. The bishop not only didn't condemn the thief, he went 1 step further to give him the very best silver-ware still in the house. Jean Valjean couldn't understand it, but on his knees, he received his redemption. At the end of the day, that's all we can do too.

"He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him" ... 2 Corinthians 5:21

Another take on Christmas

All in the family

It fits, kind-of

Orr, so nice, matches my outfit

What's a celebration without food!

And then the volcano erupted. I should have seen it coming of coz; the signs were all there ; the underlying resentment, challenging provocations, curt answers. But we never do expect the unexpected, it's like we always declare so confidently this or that will never happen. Whats the saying - never say never. A mole hill can become a mountain, a quarrel can explode over a seemingly small thing. But sometimes eruptions are good, it clears the air, lays a new foundation for another beginning, hopefully surely a better one. When we are honest with each other, we can have mutual release. We can face the reality that the ones closest and dearest to us will hurt us the most.  After all, that's what happened to Jesus Himself, misunderstood by His very own, deserted by all at the end of the day, forsaken even by God and yet showed us the example by crying in the midst of dying on the cross  "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do". Of coz they knew what they were doing; how can you not know you are murdering someone, the only thing was they didn't know who they were murdering - the very One who loved them and came to save them. So, why should humans expect to be treated any differently? Yes, we hurt people and people hurt us, but we can forgive and love  again.  Most of all we can really finally let go of  those who hurt us and commit them to the Almighty God who created us all, knows us all and loves us all in spite of our human ugliness. We can trust that He knows what to do, when to do and how to do all things well.

I know a lot of doctrine. That's not a boast, just a fact, after all you should know a lot if you have walked 10 years with God, reading His word, praying and doing all the 'right' things a Christian should do. But when it comes to the crunch, doctrine doesn't help really. Doctrine without the experiential application of it is simply dead, like faith without works is simply dead faith. I already know I should surrender and indeed I can even pray conscientiously  'surrendering' to God, and believe that i am, but actually God looks down and sees my hands still manipulating the scenes. It's like the puppeteer who pretends the puppet is talking but all the time he's pulling the strings. How many times we Christians pray that God's will be done (that's correct doctrine) and then ask God to bless our plans (that's reality check). Well, when God has enuf of my wheeling and dealing, I guess He sends an explosion, to shock me up good and proper, so that once and for all, I am  forced to see myself  as God sees me, pathetic creature that i am, who think I know it all and can do it all my way.

I am so glad I don't know it all, indeed I don't have to know it all. And I don't have to do it all. I just have to know the God who created the whole universe and holds it in the palm of His mighty hands. When I truly let go of the ball, God can handle the game way better than I. So it was that I spent the days before Christmas in repentance, tears and fasting. I was so sorry I had gotten into His way, what a blind donkey I was. (I think the donkeys in the Bible were all smarter than me!) True to His word, He cleanses, restores and heals; a broken and contrite heart He will not despise (Psalm 51:17 ) And now I am free, really totally free. I am no longer bound by me. I am struck once again by the truth that Christianity is really all about understanding the paradox of God. Doctrine that teaches to be really free, you gotta surrender, and the 1st thing you have to surrender is yourself, or that to really live, you have to die first yourself is pretty hard to accept. But I guess that's the price . Everything in life has a price after all. It's just whether we are prepared to buy or pay it. Its like the coin i hold in my hand. On one side is surrender, flip it over and it becomes freedom.

The church staged a drama aptly entitled 'Freedom', summarily a story of a family gone wrong; a wife who deserted her overly-suspicious husband, dumping their new-born daughter on him, and then reappearing years later when the now-grown child is rebelling against the father's paranoid control. Someone commented it didn't make sense. My reply was simply a lot of movies don't make sense too but that doesn't stop us from enjoying or gleaning some lessons from them. Life and God for that matter doesn't make sense many times. But things like love, forgiveness and reconciliation should. To be able to give and receive love and forgiveness from man and from God is the highest freedom of all - that's true reconciliation. I think the day that finally happens, there will be no more wars in the world.

I rose early on Christmas day for my usual morning jaunt. I had hoped for a fabulous sun-rise, to sort-of lift up my spirits. But it wasn't to be. Heaven was overcast with clouds. There was just a sliver of light breaking thru one tiny patch of sky, and it was slow in coming out full strength. But it was a brilliant shaft all the same. I guess life with God is like that, it isn't always about bright sunshiny skies;  there will be times, many times in fact, that there seems to be no dawn to dispel the darkness of nite. But actually the light is there all the while, it may be pretty slow in coming out, and we may only catch glimpses of it every now and then.

That pretty much sums up the past year for me. Lots of things, "bad" things in fact if I had to categorize them, have happened which have stretched my faith. And to be honest, many times I can't even see any light on my path. I dunno how some people can go around ever cheery and upbeat as if nothing bad ever happens to them - i guess maybe they hide/manage it better than I do, or maybe really nothing bad ever happens to them (wow, good for them then). But me, I am just an ordinary sinful mortal, a mom trying to do the best she can with the kids, the job, this life that God has saved. I scream in frustration at God when I don't understand why He lets things happen which I don't want to happen, which I am so sure He doesn't (or shouldn't) want to happen. And then I catch myself, or rather God catches me and says ever so gently, "There you go again, child, telling Me, God what to do" Sometimes when I am too deaf to hear him, becoz I am too busy hearing myself, He sends an eruption my way, to remind me who's in charge of the universe. That kinda puts things into perspective and that's how good and  great my Abba Father is.

Its taken me awhile but I re-learnt a few things about Christmas (and life) this year. That it isn't just about joy and peace, it's not simply singing we wish you a merry Christmas and happy new year. Christmas isn't just celebrating the birthday of Someone special, presents and the warm goodwill, fuzzy lovey-dovey stuff. All that is well and good. Even Pastor's message confirmed actually the truth about Christmas is that in spite of all that is well and good with Jesus Christ being born, yet it was into a world and a time of mayhem, chaos and evil. That's not a very 'nice' or traditional Christmas story, but that's also the truth about life - it isn't 'nice' for a lot of folks, Christian or not. Christmas and life actually can get pretty cloudy. As I sit watching the sun rise, I noticed the clouds didn't go away. God could have blown or swept them all off, but He didn't. Instead the sun simply shines right through them and the shafts slowly but surely expand to fill and brighten up the whole sky...and then presto, another new day is born.

That's the whole picture, if we are patient to wait for it to unfold. The truth is the reason for Christmas - Jesus Christ - the Light of the world, can still break through into every situation every time into every life that opens to receive Him. For in the midst of ugliness, there still can be found beauty. In the midst of despair, there still is hope. In the midst of evil, there is still God, and He is still good. And it's not just at Christmas time.

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life"... John 8:12

Home Sweet Home

This December I find myself at the movies more often than customary. Guess I can't resist the 5-star reviews that come out with the holiday seasons blockbusters. And I confess I do have a good time at the movies. I am the type who gets totally absorbed by the story on screen. First to cry at touching scenes, first to jump at shock-effects, first to clutch the seat at tense moments, and ever ready to glean life-lessons from make-believe larger-than-life reel stories. So it was with the latest Peter Jackson offering of "The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey". All I remember about the book is that I read it a looong time ago, which is to say I have quite forgotten how the story goes, but I think that's not a bad thing sometimes, since then I get to appreciate the movie for what it has to tell, instead of trying to compare it with the book and finding fault with how the director took 'artistic license' changing the authors narrative.

Certainly it doesn't match up to Jackson's epic sweeping LOTR trilogy. And 3 hours is a pretty loong stretch; the only other show I remember watching for 3 hours was 'Gone with the Wind' and yes, yes, that was umpteen aeons ago. Still Hobbit had a handsome king/hero, enuf action and meaningful dialogue to keep this old aunty quite happy. I liked the title too, as it reminded me how in real life, we will find ourselves faced with choices whether to walk off the familiar path into unexpected journeys. And I could definitely relate to Hobbit Bilbo's initial reluctance to "share in an adventure" , since 'adventure makes one late for dinner', not to mention they can turn out to be rather nasty and disruptive things! That's how it is with life,when we are asked to step out into a totally different direction. As Bilbo considered the enormity of the decision before him, he thoughtfully counted the cost, asking Gandalf the wizard, "Can you promise that I will come back?" To which the honest old wizard replied, "No, and if you do, you will not be the same." How true, we will never be the same for having taken the road less traveled.

And what an adventure this bunch of not-so-merry dwarves embarked on with Bilbo, the half-ling. However one wild escapade after another can tend to get rather pointless after awhile. It's like living from one 'high' to the next, with no end in sight. It's so easy to get immersed in the myriad activity of life and never really stop to ask why we are doing what we are doing in the first place. We can have a 'ball of a life' without knowing what life is all about really. Whether that 'ball' happens to be for an altruistic cause like saving planet Earth or just plain partying away every weekend. Bilbo's reason for sticking it out with a band of dwarves 'not of his kind' and risking his own life was so touchingly profound, when he told the dwarf-king Thorin very quietly and simply, "I know you doubt me. I know you always have. I often think of Bag End. That's where I belong. That's home. You don't have one. It was taken from you, but I will help you get it back if I can."

Home. They say home is where the heart is. I venture that most of us who have a home can't wait to get back to it after a hard day's work. Likewise even when I am overseas, I 'itch' to get home after 4 days, no matter how enjoyable the vacation. So it is with every missions trip when I am away for 10 days, in my heart, I can't stop the 'count-down' to home. That's why I am particularly affected by the homeless who gather every Saturday at the street-feeding programme I am involved in. I cannot imagine the horrors they face without a home to call their own. My home is nothing fancy,in fact it's kinda run-down already. The toilets don't flush properly, the parquet is scratched and peeling , the doors get stuck. But this is my home; it spells rest to me; it's the secret place where i can put up my feet, let down my hair where in my little room, i can hide, shut off the world and be with my God.

Years ago, my husband and I hunted around for several months before we purchased this house, becoz we wanted to make sure it would be a perfect home. Yet as comfortable as my home on earth is, I am restless, knowing there is an even better one by far already prepared for me by the Great Architect of the universe. In fact sometimes I get pretty home-sick for that other home of mine, especially considering the state of the world I live in. Sometimes problems seem so overwhelming I sigh to be taken into that eternal resting place in the bosom of my Abba Father in heaven. I am sure it's a fantastic place, it has to be, since He tells me the roads are paved with gold, and there is no more death, no tears, no sorrow, no pain. I am told my house is now worth close to a million bucks becoz of its good location . But that's nothing compared to the home I am going to possess, whose location is top-notch; who can beat staying in the same neighborhood with God Himself?!

At times like these, I am so so thankful for SomeOne who came to help get back this home for me. His name isn't Bilbo the Hobbit, His name is Jesus Christ, the Messiah. But like Bilbo the Hobbit went to such great lengths to help his frens return to the home that they lost to their enemy, Jesus Christ went all the way, even to death on the cross to secure this home for me. Just as the dwarves - with good reason, I might add - doubted that a blundering hobbit who can't even wield a sword could help them in their quest to regain their lost homeland, so too man still doubt Jesus who chose to die that all may live well in their homes on earth and in heaven.

We had to take out a huge bank loan to purchase our earthly home, which but for my husband's demise, would have meant practically a life-time of debt tied round our necks. Yet there is no bank that could help me pay the price for my heavenly home, since it was already mortgaged to the enemy of my soul, who demands payment in blood. But I didn't have to; Jesus paid for me - with His own blood. What I lost thru my sin, Jesus redeemed by His life given in exchange for mine. This fact alone makes that home priceless. Surely this is the greatest news for all who long for rest from the weariness and dreariness of this world - that eventually those who believe by faith are headed for this home of all homes, when the God who loves us says it's time to go... home sweet home.

The key to home is in the hand of the One who purchased it. And we can only possess it if we would first step out into the adventure of believing and trusting the God who says "Behold, I stand at the door and knock.If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me" (Rev. 3:20). In the words of the dwarf-king Thorin, all He asks is "loyalty, honor, and a willing heart." Sad to say, some are not willing to share this adventure of a life-time and prefer to 'play-house' on this earth, forgoing the richest inheritance reserved for those who dare take the risk of simply believing .


"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am" John 14:2-3

Which Story Do You Prefer?

That was the question posed to an atheist/writer by the sole human survivor of a horrendous ship-wreck at sea. As far as movies go, Life of Pi was a tad slow- moving, understandably, since the story line is a tale of a young man adrift in the middle of the ocean for 227 days with just a Bengal tiger for company - what action can one expect of such a premise after all? But underneath the simplicity of the plot was a thoughtful provocation to ponder the mystery of God and the reason for believing in something beyond our fragile humanity.  Weaved amidst the poetical scenes of shimmering oceans teeming with life and the enormous star-studded heavens was an almost imperceptible invitation to look beyond the beauty of nature to acknowledge the Creator of all nature . Even the fierceness of the storm which finally drove the hero to his knees called attention to the omnipotence, omniscience and omnipresence of an invisible SomeOne at work in the hero's life. He and his tiger adrift on a boat were not alone in their lost state, though there seemed to be no answer to his frustrated scream as he battled for his very life in the raging storm , "I have lost everything, What else do You want from me? I surrender!" Lest we miss the point, it was at this stage of surrender that his boat was swept onto solid ground. 

The movie is an adaptation of a book which won its author Yann Martel 3 prestigious international book prizes for fiction.  I haven't read the book, but certainly I can appreciate why it's so highly acclaimed. If one cares enuf to look beyond the fantasy adventure theme (which by itself is excellent), it encapsulates  the universal search of mankind for answers which ultimately revert back to what we should know all along - that we can ask and argue our lives away, but really it boils down to whether we will accept God on His terms. At the end of it all, as the hero presents another 'more believable' version of what happened, the atheist   is asked to make a decision which of the 2 stories he would prefer to believe. So which is it? The one which features the incredible tale of how a boy got stuck in a life boat with 4 animals at first with eventually only the tiger  left, as a crazed hyena kills and eats the zebra and the orang utan, only to be attacked by the tiger in turn, after which their boat is swept onto a magical island with carnivorous plants which eats up everything at nite. Finally as our exhausted and near-death hero gets washed back into civilization, the tiger unceremoniously disappears into the forest without so much as a goodbye glance back. 
The atheist is then told the alternate version, which involves humans instead of animals namely Pi's mother, a sailor with a broken leg and a cannibalistic cook.  In this story, the cook kills the sailor, and then the mother, to use them as bait and food. Pi kills the cook in revenge, leaving him the only one alive to be rescued. Which is the allegory, and which is the truth ?? Either one could be the truth of what really happened. The atheist chose to believe the story with the animals. When asked why, he answered, "Because that's the better story", to which our hero says, "And so it goes with God."
And I guess that about sums up the whole issue of God. On the one hand, there is the story that God is the all-knowing, all good,  all powerful Creator from whom, to whom and through whom are all things. On the other hand there is, or rather are, lots of other alternative stories apposite to God, that would deny the existence of God or even allowing that God exists, that He is neither all good nor all powerful, since all evidence in this world seems to point to the contrary, therefore why should He be believed? End of the day, it really depends on which story you prefer. Ultimately God may be a mystery, but faith isn't; it's simply choosing to believe in spite of not having 'pat' answers to life's difficult questions. Ultimately too, I suspect  the reason why many choose not to believe is not because there are no answers, but because God's "answers" are so unsatisfactory, and indeed at times are really 'non' answers to us. And that reduced to its essence is simply an issue of submission, not faith. Which of coz brings us back all the way to Eden, when man first refused to submit to God's 1st and very simple commandment - Don't eat this or else you will die....Adam and Eve chose not to believe. God gave them that freedom anyway, like He still does to us now. And He still lets us exercise that freedom, even if wrongly, like Adam and Eve.

But of coz Adam and Eve never admitted they were wrong in the first place; they just went around justifying/excusing  their actions, blaming each other, and blaming God. Hai , still the same old story today. Why is it we so easily assume that "giving in" or as Pi says, "surrender"  to God means losing our precious freedom? When actually the truth of the matter is when we claim to be free, we actually bind ourselves to ourselves, effectively becoming slaves to ourselves - where is the freedom in that? When will we realise the greatest freedom comes in letting go, not hanging on to our precious freedom? I guess it's hard to accept the paradox that believing in a God who requires submission can set us totally and really free. It's much easier to forget or gloss over the truth that  it was independence (wrongly exercised) that led to disbelief that brought about man's downfall, and simply write off submission as a 'dirty' word, as we find it so 'distasteful' to have to accept a God who won't answer us 'properly and yet require us to somehow "just believe". 

Yet  like the atheist, we all eventually have to face the same question. What are you willing to believe about who God is,  who you are and why you are here?  Would you  rather believe the incredulous story of Jesus who apparently came down from heaven in the form of a baby born of a virgin,  grew up as a hu-man, went around healing sick people, making the blind see, the deaf hear, casting out demons and even raising the dead??  Nah, those are just 'stories' cooked up to make gullible people believe. So would you believe Jesus hung on a cross to (apparently) die for your  sin? Nah, I don't sin (not much anyway), besides I don't need anyone to die for me, thank you very much. Then would you believe somehow this 'dead' Jesus rose alive and then ascended to heaven? Of coz not, more likely a case of mass hallucination and more cooked-up stories . What about believing that Jesus  (apparently again) is coming back to take you home to heaven? Really, that's the joke of the century!. So you don't believe there is a place where the roads are paved with gold and there is no more death, no pain, no tears, and no sorrow? Yea, sure, dream on, fren!.... 

Yep, I agree the story of Jesus Christ is incredulous, incredible, impossible and  inexplicable, but who is to say it's not true? Perhaps you would rather believe that life  is just about living the best you can, doing whatever moral and ethical good you can (as we all know we should anyway, with or without God). So your life purpose is simply to eat, drink and be merry whilst you still draw breath and then get swallowed up by death and either disappear into the dust of the earth, after being eaten by maggots or be transported to some vague other-world which doesn't matter anyhow, since you don't really care one way or another where you end up.

Or maybe you would rather not choose to believe either. To me, that's a cop-out. It's like the juror who won't make up his mind just becoz he feels there isn't 'enough' evidence one way or the other. In a court of law, you have to decide at the close of case based on whatever evidence is available there and then; there's no such luxury as 'wait' or 'KIV' for more evidence to come in. If we dare put God 'on trial', surely it's our responsibility and in all fairness to either believe or disbelieve based on what He has already chosen to disclose of Himself. There's no such thing as 'sitting on the fence' as far as God is concerned. As Jesus puts it, "He who is not with me is against me.."(Luke 11:23)
 
Well, for me, it's a hands down which is the better story. I'd rather choose to believe in a story which offers hope that this life is more than just existing for the moment, no matter how 'good' that existence may be. I'd rather believe and  trust a God who gives me complete freedom to decide whether or not to submit to Him, not by human logic, but by the highest call of love beyond human understanding.  As the author puts it, "If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the Cross, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' then surely we are also permitted doubt....But we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.” (I think that means you are just going nowhere in particular)

Well said. And I would add to not believe the better story that there is a God who loves me and who  has prepared the best for me now and in the hereafter is to miss the very meaning and abundance of life itself.  Now to me,  that wouldn't be the 'better' way; in fact it's a rather lousy way to live. 

"And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?"  John 11:26


 

This Crazy Thing Called Love

I went to the wedding of a good friend’s son the other day. It was a grand affair, and like all weddings, a beautiful one. Held in a posh hotel, complete with all sorts of things from fancy little bites of cocktail tidbits to petals on the floor (fake, thankfully, for I crinch at how many white roses would have to be ‘sacrificed’ if real ones were used!) and diamonds (again fake, but these I wish were real!) sprinkled on the dining tables. But of coz all these paled in comparison to the bridal couple, who both looked resplendent as befitting their status. The handsome groom in his tux was grinning from ear to ear, and as for the bride, well, no words can ever describe a radiant bride. As is now the norm for this century’s weddings, there was the mandatory screening of video clips showing the childhood/early days of the happy couple and presentation of their friends. Nowadays it seems even the proposal of marriage must be one of a kind. I remember the news of 1 man who ‘tayang’ the question all over a highway bill-board at the cost of some $40k, not to mention those who pop ‘it’ under the sea, on the mountains or in the sky. 

So different from my days.. that’s some 30 years ago. My husband proposed to me with a card after a ‘chap-fun’ dinner. (Gee, how romantic can that be?!) Back then I remember the craze was mass-weddings. So I had my wedding dinner at a typical (ie noisy) Chinese restaurant together with 4 other couples’ parties. There were no fancy video clips on hi-tech screens. Instead we had a video-man (my husband’s own cousin) who went around the tables carrying this huge, brightly-lit contraption on his shoulders to ‘shoot’ the event. And since I wasn’t a Christian then, there was no soul-tugging exchange of vows in church; we merely trooped to the PJ (nearest) IC department, sat down in front of an officer and signed our lives away to each other on a piece of paper. After that I went back to work. We had our (belated) honeymoon some 2 years down the line, since that was when we could afford it – and even then it was just a weekend trip to Genting Highlands... 

How love has evolved thru the ages... or has it? I should be more precise; it's not love that has evolved, but the cultural norms of expressing love that's evolved. Love remains...love. As I 'worked' my way thru the yummy-licious courses (it is work, you know... for the stomach), I couldn't help but wonder, what is it that makes a man and a woman 'click' together to the point where they know they  want to build a life as 2-in-1? What exactly is this 'thing' called love that ties 2 souls to unite as 1 for life? Speaking from personal experience, I know for sure it's more than a heart that goes boody-boom, boody-bum everytime you hear the beloved's voice. It's more than the shine in the eyes, the 'feeeeliiing' of being 'in love'. When the dust of romance settles down in the aftermath of a fairy-tale wedding, and you see each other's worst faults in the reality and humdrum of many many ordinary days, what is this thing called love that enables you to still hang on to the relationship and weather the storms through the years? When you can come to a point of contemplating divorce and yet decide against it, surely it is becoz you know deep inside somewhere in time, there was (some) love; and you are willing to give love a chance again. 

We can't see love, can't touch love, sometimes don't even feel love. But we know it's there, it's real, and it has meaning.  Scientists have reduced love to a 'cocktail of chemicals and hormones' produced in the brain; (they even have a cuddle hormone) Apparently there are 12 areas of the brain working together to produce and sustain that 'magical moment' when you 'fall in love'. Yet honestly how many of us care about how our brain waves are reacting or what chemical reaction is taking place when we are beholding the one we love? Try telling that to a mother cradling her new-born babe in her arms, or the father walking his toddler in the park or the boyfren gazing into his sweetheart's eyes. Brain activity is the furthest thing from our brains when we look on a spouse dying of cancer or when we spend a lonely nite in bed after a big quarrel. All we know is that there is this crazy thing called love that binds hearts together; that can bring great joy and great sorrow as well. I don't pretend to understand love. I don't need to check my brain activity or heart beat to know it exists. I don't need faith to believe in it, but I do need faith to trust in its power to give meaning to my life.

And I guess that's how it is with God. The good apostle John said very simply "God is love" (1 John 4:8). Yet as so many great minds have asked, how can an unseen, unknown, unproven God love; put it the other way round - how can we love such a God? Is He for real - as real as my father, mother, husband, wife, kids - whom I can know, can see, can love and who can love me back?...

This fren of mine will tell you, Yes, God is for real. I tell her story here becoz it demonstrates the reality not just of God, but of His love in the life of someone who has struggled with physical, emotional, financial and spiritual difficulties for many years, even as of now (so what else is new, who hasn't?). It's not that she doesn't believe or have faith in God. It's not that she hasn't prayed. But in her own words, she just can't seem to get the 'break-through' she wants. She knows the Bible, she knows she shouldn't worry or fear. But somehow when life keeps knocking us down, even the most faithful and most prayerful believer can come to a point where in all honesty we aren't so sure of the reality of God or His love anymore. Who hasn't cried out in moments of doubt, "Is there really a God? If yes, then why...how....when...what...who....where??" So really, it's not only journalists who ask these questions.

One time my fren was in my car and really down in the dumps. I honestly didn't know how to help or what to say. A Malay song was playing from the CD and I guess the words must have comforted her a lot as she asked for the lyrics, but I didn't have them. I was thinking to get it for her later, but as usual, what with one thing or another, I quite forgot all about it. A few days later, one nite, I was reading in bed and taking notes. As I was reaching out for a pile of recycled paper, a little folded page fell out. Straight away I noticed the lyrics of that very song she wanted neatly typed on the page:

Allah Mengerti  (God Understands)


Banyak perkara yang tak dapat ku mengerti, (Many things I cannot understand)
Mengapakah harus terjadi di dalam kehidupan ini (Why certain things happen in this life)
Satu perkara yang ku simpan dalam hati (One thing I keep in my heart)
Tiada sesuatu ‘kan terjadi tanpa Allah peduli, (Nothing happens without God caring)

Allah mengerti, Allah peduli, (God understands, God cares)
Segala persoalan yang kita hadapi (All the questions we face)
Tak akan pernah dibiarkan ku bergumul sendiri (He will not let me struggle alone)
Sebab Allah mengerti (Because God understands)

It wasn't even mine. It was typed out on the underside of a church bulletin programme; I must have grabbed it as a book-mark (which is my usual habit of 'tagging' books I may have occasion to read before service), and somehow it ended up in my box of recycled paper. I knew straight away why it landed before me just as it did.... I had forgotten my fren, but God didn't. I love my fren, yet I couldn't help her much beyond praying; but the God who loves her even more could and did help her. Out of a random pile of rubbish papers, out of tens of thousands of song lyrics, the one that she needed literally flew out into my hands. Science may be able to calculate the chances and probability, but it can never explain why it happened at that precise moment, nor can it ever explain how God can answer a person's need in such a personal and real way.

I don't call this coincidence, I call it a miracle - my fren received a love-letter from God. That's how real God is, and that's how awesome His love is. No matter that we can't or don't even want to 'love' God, He loves us, with a love that doesn't depend on how 'good' or perfect we are, but is grounded on how good and perfect He is. A love that doesn't depend on our belief of His existence, but on His faithfulness and compassion for us. A love of the Creator for His masterpiece - us, His creation. If we can choose to love and be loved by 1 human being so much to the point of committing to marriage, why do we find it difficult to believe enuf to love and be loved by a God whose very nature is Love? Chemicals and hormones aside, Apostle John said, "We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).

Why can't we accept that the reality of God is manifested not in human terms, as in love between 2 physical bodies who can see, hear, touch and feel for each other, but in equal if not even more compellingly real-life experiences of what can only be evidence of His love. Humans can decide to divorce one another when they 'fall out of love'. God is never the one to 'divorce' us; it's always man who walks away from Him first. Who can comprehend this love of God for man who choose to reject, disbelieve, distrust, and rebel against Him? It's crazy that He would love so much, for Him to literally die for sinners, even unbeknown to and unappreciated by us. I never asked Jesus to die for me. But He's done it anyway and not just for me, but for all the world, believe it or not - all because of this crazy thing called love.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us..... 1 John 4:10

Missing The Most Magnificent

It wasn’t easy starting out. Some 2 years ago, I had determined to start an early morning exercise regime after years of letting my body go its own way. I figured I had better do something more than just huffing and puffing up the house stairs every day if I am supposed to take care of this ‘old shell’ of a body properly, as God meant me to. And that was how the morning walks started. Nothing complicated, you understand – no fancy exercise machines, no nice jogging track in some beautifully-landscaped park. Just a short 20 minute round of alternate walking and jogging round a small school field-cum-playground near my house 3x a week. It took some getting used to. But it’s so true that discipline builds a habit. I guess when we know we should do something, we will do something about it. So for the past 2 years, I have been faithfully getting up and out of the house into the darkness of pre-dawn mornings to do my thing. It has to be pre-dawn as school-days  mean work begins early. I call it my morning walk with God,as it was only natural that I incorporate my previous routine of seeking His face before I start off each day. As I step out of the house every time and head out to the field, I am reminded  this was how God meant it to be, for right from the beginning, after He created Adam and Eve, He actually walked with them daily. So what I had meant to be  a mere exercise regime to keep this old body healthy has evolved into such a blessing...

The minute I round the corner that leads to the field, I am greeted by the deafening crescendo of chirping birds and cawing crows. Their song rises up like a greeting prelude to welcoming a new day's birth. It's as if I have stepped into another world, for but a moment ago, the air was still embalmed in the silence of darkness. I wonder how these creatures seem to know instinctively that dawn is coming even as the world slumbers on. Interestingly I have noticed  at precisely the same hour each time a flock of crows would be flying across the field heading towards a clump of trees near the houses. It's like a "fly-past" instead of march-past. Somehow they always nest in the same trees. It's as if they know this is their hour, their home. Gets me wondering how is it humans seem to have lost their "homing" instinct for their Creator-God??

And as I breathe in the cool morning air trudging the wet grass under my feet, I realize it’s impossible not to praise God for each new day that I wake up to. In the beginning, the darkness was uncomfortable, scary in fact. Running in circles with just a couple of street lamps casting dim shadows around you is not much fun. But it was in the semi-darkness that I discovered the reality and nearness of God. When I couldn’t see much beyond my own shoes as I plodded along the grass slippery with dew , I understood that in life, when I am groping around in the dark, not knowing what's ahead, wondering if it's safe,  I can just put one leg in front of the other, in confidence that although I don't know many things, God knows all things  and is in control. I am comforted that "He who watches over me will not slumber...He is my shade at my right hand; the sun will not harm me by day, nor the moon by night... for the  Lord will keep me from all harm...He will watch over my life; the Lord will watch over my coming and going both now and forevermore"(Psalm 121:3-8). And  the words of that old hymn ‘Morning by morning new mercies I see…Great is Thy faithfulness’ take on fresh meaning. Alone with my Maker, no matter that darkness surrounds me all about,  I bring Him my songs of thanksgiving and gratefulness for another day of life, held as I am in the safety of His arms..

It got even better during these past weeks, as I can afford the luxury of coming out slightly later since it’s school holidays. I have learnt to time my morning walks to catch the sun rise. And it’s opened up a whole new experience of God’s presence with me. I don't have to climb any mountains to be awe-struck at the coming of the dawn. All I have to do is look over the roof-tops beyond to the hills in the distance.  It's amazing how wide the vista before one's eyes when one looks up instead of down or straight ahead.  No wonder there are so many verses in God's Word calling us to "lift up your eyes" or "look up". Things look so different when our eyes are focused correctly - on the God of the universe, instead of on ourselves or on the world. How much we miss when we choose to simply  look anywhere and everywhere but up; no wonder we mess up our lives.  C.S.Lewis the atheist-turned-Christian apologist had this to say "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else".  Jesus taught that "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" (Mat. 6:22-23). How terrible to go around living with a pair of 'bad' eyes, looking at all the wrong things....


And as I cast my eyes over to the distant hills, it is as if an invisible painter is at work, splashing hues of colors across the palette of heaven in an ever-changing daily kaleidoscope. One time the sky could be brilliant orange, and within moments it would transform into the softest of pink blushes. Another time the blues just blow the mind, whilst on cloudy days, greys certainly exceed a mere 50 shades. I am reminded my God is as dependable as the sun rise, even though sometimes the clouds of life mar my view of Him. I don't need to 'see' Him to know He is there all the time every time. The most fascinating thing that never fails to amaze me is that no 2 sunrises are ever the same. I could come out at the same hour and find a brand new dawn unfolding before my eyes every time. And my spirit gets lifted up knowing I have got such an awesome God who is able to take the same old life, same old problems, same old whatever and make it all new and
beautiful. No wonder the apostle Paul cried out, "Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!" (Rom.11:33).

 
Human beings complicate life so much. We debate, dispute and doubt God because of this, that or the other happening or not happening, as if God's a theory to be proved or disproved. Yet how easy it is to miss  the most magnificent "God-moments" in life when we no longer bother enuf to make time and space for  the simplest of everyday things ....like a sun-rise.  


"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"........... 
2 Corinthians 5:17

For fotos of just 2 days sun-rise in TTDI , click here

What do you do with rubbish?

For the past 5 days break at home, I had every good intention to spring-clean the house for Christmas. Well, the 5th day has come and gone, and apart from wiping 2 kitchen shelves, the spring cleaning hasn't gotten on much.  I did get started by poking around, and what I saw I certainly didn't like. I was shifting the plates  around the other day when a baby something scuttled out. I am not frightened by or of creepy-crawlies, be it baby or adult kind, but that obviously meant I really should do more than just poke around. Then I peeped into my wardrobe, and tried to figure out when was the last time I wore that green tingy in the corner. Honestly...I really dunno. The fashion people say if there's anything hanging in your wardrobe that hasn't seen the light of day for more than 3 years , it shouldn't be hanging there in the first place. Actually I got things hanging there for more than 10 years, but I console myself it's ok, I am not into fashion anyway. Like I said, humans tune out....
So now that my 5 days break is over, it looks like my good intention will remain just that... A good intention. Whats the saying, the road to hell is paved with good intentions....dusty shelves hiding baby somethings are definite evidence of good intentions which never got translated into action. 

Guess it can get that way with life too. All politicians intend good, if you believe them. We all wanna be good, sincerely from the bottom of our hearts. Watzat other saying...we can be sincerely wrong. We all know what rubbish is and where it belongs. Or do we, really? It's amazing how the human mind can tune out certain things we don't wanna see. Perhaps that accounts for the way the kids always answer 'where got?' when I complain of the rubbish in their rooms. How is it we can both be looking at the same pile of stuff, and I see rubbish whilst they don't see anything? I think they call it perspective. 

Perhaps that's why we are so sure God is wrong when He calls us sinners. Sinners are terrible people, we aren't terrible people, we are people who have every good intention and in fact are good and do good as much as we can, (most of the time anyway) and that makes us pretty decent, not terrible, people. Ahh, the irrefutable argument of perspective, which colors truth into mere variables of individual  interpretation. 

Guess that's why it's hard to understand what's so wrong about Adam and Eve eating 1 miserable fruit, which so happen to be the only 1 God expressly forbade them to eat. Why make such a big deal of 1 fruit, 1 little wrong, no harm done to anyone else, so what's the big fuss, man? I have a sneaky suspicion Adam and Eve must have questioned (even if it was only in their hearts) God for being so 'heavy-handed', especially since He is supposed to be loving and forgiving and all the other 'nice' stuff. For man, it was simply a first-time disobedience, a small error, but for God, it was as good as rebellion, punishable with exile from Paradise.  That's how it was then, and that's still how it is now. 

Long after Adam and Eve, we still can't agree with God that swerving a little bit off His way is a big deal. We don't agree that all sin deserves death. That's why we choose the easy way out- just reject Him and His (narrow-minded, to us) ways. We don't want to be held accountable to such a strict judge. After all, its a matter of ...perspective. So the created questions the Creator's standards and think we know better. We decide we don't need (ie don't want) to live by His standards. It's easier to simply push God out of our lives, and live it merrily the way we see it, want it and excuse it. After all that's our  individual right to freedom that no one, least of all God, can touch. So we cease to discern  the 'rubbish' we allow to accumulate in our lives, in fact we can get so used to the rubbish we don't smell its stink anymore, becoz it's become so much a part of us. Much like my kids don't see what I see in their rooms becoz they are living in it every day. 

What we don't get is no matter how 'free' we think we are, wallowing  in rubbish still stinks, actually. After all rubbish  is rubbish, by any other name. Sin is sin, to a most holy God. But the good news is grace is still grace, no matter how undeserved. That's what we still don't get... a God who in His righteous holiness loves us enuf to save us from stinking sin and consequential death  - all at His own expense. He threw man out of an earthly Eden, but opened up the way to a heavenly eternity by dumping our 'rubbish-sin' on SomeOne else. 

Rubbish is supposed to be thrown away, carted off to the dump. I may not have cleared the rubbish in my house. But at least I know my sin has all been cleared away, ever since I let Jesus Christ carry it all the way to the cross and let Himself be nailed there, bearing it for me. That's not only goodness manifested, that's love -perfected.


"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord"... 
Romans 6:23

A Life More Than Death

Our cat's sick. Uggy is all of 84 (cat) years old. She's been with us even before my husband passed on - that's 12 years ago. The kids practically grew up with her. If I remember correctly, she was part of a litter of our previous cat. I named her Uggy, becoz she was well, sorta ugly...all a mass of brown/black patches. But what she lacks in looks, she certainly makes up for in personality...she's the family favourite, becoz she's the most docile and gentle of creatures (read lazy if you like). Give her food and she's happy (sounds like me, sometimes). She spends her days snoozing in the sun or wherever tickles her fancy, eating, and snoozing again (honestly there are days I would trade my life for hers). She very rarely gets sick at all, and she's never disappeared from the house, unlike Zaza who's prone to wander off every now and then, or worse Simba the temporary intruder who has now totally deserted our camp . But some days ago, Uggy simply vanished. Last I saw of her she was in the back garden amongst the ferns. We missed her mews at chow-time. Zaza got all the crumbs under the dinner table instead. We prayed. The next morning, I found her lying at the back, very weak and refusing food. Now that's a cause for concern, coz Uggy never refuses food. A quick trip to the vet set me back 5x more than what it would have caused me to see the doctor - I could have sworn cat flu and human flu seems to be pretty much the same, since when I catch the flu bug, I also get diarrhea, am listless and don't care much for eating - which are Uggy's exact symptoms, as I see it anyway... gee, at this rate, my kids should have studied to become animal doctors! Anyway, thankfully it wasn't like she was dying of old age, though the thot did cross our minds....

Death. A thought that creeps up on all of us at one time or another of our lives.All of us will get hit by what i call the 'tsunami' moment, when we stare at the death of something/ someone in the face, and we wonder, is this all there is to life? A journey into death? We try all sorts of things to avoid, delay or overcome its inevitability. Superstition doesn't wanna talk about it, arrogance attempts to deny or condemn it, fear trembles and hides from it. Why? Could it be that deep in every human heart, we refuse to die, becoz we know instinctively we are meant to live? A long time ago, the wisest king on earth penned these words, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end (Ecc.3:11)...

Eternity in the heart.... could that be why humankind has always hungered after immortality? We see it daily in advertisements to smooth out wrinkles on our faces, we pop wonder pills, even as science tinkles with cells and what-not in the never-ending quest to extend the human life span.

That's why we all root for heroes like Victor, the young nerd in Tim Burton's latest offering Frankenweenie, who can't quite let go of his dead pet, digs up the corpse, sews it up and literally zaps it back to life thru megawatts of lightning power. And we cheer James Bond on in Skyfall when he turns up kicking after he's supposed to have died, and dead-pans to the enemy that his hobby is resurrection. Reel life plays on real life after all.

2000 years ago, in real life, a man did die, and did get resurrected. Not by man's ingenuity, not by nature's might but by the power of God.Yet the human mind cannot fathom the impossible made possible. So till today the doubts remain, the denial and unbelief continues regarding the life, death and resurrection of a man called Jesus Christ. We prefer to keep resurrection in the realm of reel life instead; in so doing, we rule out the only answer to death in real life. We can commiserate and identify with fictitious movie screen heroes, but we can't believe a man who hung dead on a cross and then came back alive, proving that death can and was conquered when He declared, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live" (John 11.25)

We consign ourselves to being merely mortal, even tho our hearts know we were made for more, so much more than death...



 "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it"
 ....Matthew 10:39

A stirring of discontent

 

The blurb on fb was catchy - "Come experience the Ubah Dream Machine" There were some interesting names bandied about, tho no big-time personalities apparently. That suited me fine actually, becoz I didn't fancy stomaching political ra-ra-ra speeches. I wanted to hear from ordinary folks like myself. So for,the first time in my 52 years of being a M'sian citizen, I attended a 'ceramah umum'.

It was awful timing actually. Saturday nites are for enjoying with family and frens, partying, R-n-R stuff. Who would wanna come and hang out at  a car-park listening to more of the same-same things that have been said umpteen times already?  Add to that the unkind weather which literally washed out the whole idea of an open air gathering, and any smart event organizer will conclude its bound to be a PR disaster on your hands. But I went anyway,  more out of curiosity than anything else, since personally i am not a die-hard for any political party. I didn't expect any crowd as the rain was a real dampener, and indeed as I looked across to the car park grounds, it was miserably empty. The lauded 'dream machine' was actually the huge back end of a trailer emblazoned with a big caption 'Ubah sekarang, bersihkan Malaysia' and pix of a hornbill bearing the M'sian flag. (Pardon me ignorance, but it's only now I found out the bird named Ubah has been 'adopted' as DAP mascot.)
Apart from a handful of people milling about the covered entrance to the civic centre hall, who were obviously party workers, there didn't seem to be any action going on. I was about to go home, when a man approached me with a smile and asking if I had come for the talk, pointed to one of the rooms inside. I walked in to behold the small place totally packed. People were already sitting on the side steps. I parked myself into an empty spot there. More people kept trooping in till there was only standing room at the 2 doors. I ain't too good with estimates, but I figure there must be some 100-150 pax in the gathering.
I hadn't known what to expect really, since I have never attended this sorta thing before. Obviously some in the audience were there to support their party of choice. But I am equally sure there were some like me who were just there to listen for themselves from the horses' mouths, so to speak, what all the clamor call for change is all about. For a moment I thot it was going to be a wasted effort when one of the speakers mentioned  that the session was actually the concluding part of a series of clarification about 'Talam-gate'. Man, my heart was saying , i am not interested in that. I came to hear the 'heart-beat' of fellow M'sians for Malaysia, to check if  their dream of a better Malaysia for all M'sians is the same as mine. I was debating whether to walk out. But since I was wedged up in a tight spot high up on the stairs and the doorway was already blocked, I sat put. And I am glad I did. Becoz as the evening wore on, as different speakers took the mike, it went beyond Talam. And it got even better when the rain abated and we could all adjourn into the open air car park where the speakers finally got to use the big stage on the trailer. Yes, there were the usual references to cows, condos, submarines, Hummers and AES... All old fodder for the mill, already readily available for everyone and anyone who can read and has access to the world wide web. 
But behind the  re-hash of scandals and exposes, I heard passion in their voices, I saw fire in their eyes. These were young (well, compared to aunties like me, they are young) men and women, coming from different backgrounds, different races, speaking different mother-tongues, but they displayed the same commitment.  One over-riding sentiment resonated from all the speeches made over the 3 hours  - it isn't about PKR or UMNO; it isn't about winning or losing power. It's about Malaysia...it doesn't matter which party gets to sit in Putrajaya, what matters is good governance translated visibly into transparency, responsibility and accountability to the people, by the people and for the people. Who will not agree these are the correct  ideals of society-living to be upheld in this nation, which calls itself a democracy?

The problem isn't with the rhetoric or the theory, the problem is with the implementation, or lack thereof. And that's what's bugging me. I have voted dutifully in every election as a concerned citizen. For years I have not questioned the status quo, becoz being a stereotype Chinese, (which i hasten to add, isn't to say all Chinese conform to the stereotype), I was content for myself and my family since I live a pretty decent life. Isn't that enuf? It is, if it's all about me. But the truth is it isn't all about me. 

It's about writing down Malaysian next to the race column on a form, its about hearing the kids in the kindy where I work singing Negara-Ku every Monday morning. Don't the words mean anything anymore ? Perhaps I am getting more sentimental as the years roll by. Whatever, something is stirring in my heart these days, for I have begun to 'ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country'. These words were part of the inspiring inaugural speech spoken by President John F Kennedy in 1961, I was just a 1 year old baby then. Now I am already past the half-century milestone...

I may not be able to do great things or many things, but I can make the right choice as a Malaysian who cares about this beloved land we call our own. I can with others in the same boat pull together to steer it in the right direction, so that ultimately all generations of this rainbow nation can rest well and enjoy its abundant blessings. Surely the fruits of this land are not reserved for just some of thepeople some of the time. After 55 years of independence, where are the fruits gone? It's patently obvious some baskets are disproportionately fuller than others, and that through rather questionable harvesting. That is very simply not fair to all Malaysians.

So that's how i found myself amongst this small group of people. We stood for some 2 1/2 hours on a wet Saturday nite listening attentively to ordinary folks voice a common dream for this land. A dream that stirs the heart to a restless discontent. Some say discontent is bad; because it raises needless questions and foments rebellion. I will be the first to agree we should be thankful grateful people, but I would think discontent over things that are not what they should or can be is the first step to change for the better. If people can retire from active employment at 55, why can't governments 'retire' also and take a backseat to allow other 'drivers' to rise up...who knows that they may prove more competent? American jazz musician and Pulitzer Prize winner Wynton Marsalis said, " I have absolutely no idea what my generation did to enrich our democracy. We dropped the ball. We entered a period of complacency and closed our eyes to the public corruption of our democracy"

I don't want to stand indicted as a Malaysian with closed eyes. I'll take my chances with a little discontent.