I am digesting one of my fave authors Philip Yancey's book on Prayer- Does it make any difference?? .... its i call an 'honest' book; ie it dares to ask questions and doesn't pretend to give perfect, fairy tale answers... just like my all-time fave book - the Bible. Many smart people have questioned why there are inconsistencies in the Bible, if it's supposedly God's word. I hv myself asked the same questions (tho i don't consider myself in the smart category , but i aint exactly dumb either). But i hv come to a point where i m convinced Truth is truth; the existence of Truth doesn't depend on our belief . As someone argued; an atheist actually needs to exercise greater faith to believe in the non-existence of God, than a theist who by faith believes there is a God. Our finite mind thinks something is inconsistent if it doesn't add up the way to the way we expect things to add up, like we expect 2 + 2 = 4. But God doesn't exist as an equation to be added up and made sense of. He puts it quite simply "My ways are higher than your ways, my thoughts are higher than your thoughts". He's revealed enuf to enable us to believe and to be saved - He sent Jesus into our world. What else He doesn't choose to reveal or explain is His prerogative as God.
But i digress... i was meaning to talk about prayer, becoz i could relate to Yancey's frank discourses on the subject. He asked questions i hv often asked myself. Why pray? What good does prayer do, when we all know some prayers don't seem to get any answers? Can we change God's mind through prayer, if we can, then wldn't that make God 'wishy-washy'?? What if someone prays for rain in 1 area, and another prays dont rain for the same area, how is God gonna answer?? Someone wisely replied, God will answer His way lah, ie effectively 1 person gets a yes, the other gets a no answer!! Is that how prayer works/don't work?
Everyone who professes some religion prays. As a kid, i was taught to pray by my parents... we went to temples, we had a lot of altars in the house..i can still see the walls smoked black by all the joss-sticks she lighted up twice daily. When i married ,my husband and i continued to pray to the family idols. When he was diagnosed of cancer, i prayed like crazy... any god, all gods, no matter... and then the miracle happened - Jesus captured me, my husband and my kids, and so the focus of my prayers changed. Not only that, i notice, even the content of my prayers changed, ever so subtly... my prayer-time used to simply a whole list of things I wanted God to do for me and mine,and oh, of coz i add the obligatory Thank You, God at the beginning and the end. This took like... 5/10 mins at most. That was my prayer life. And then i went to India..... and saw people PRAY...
Not short little prayers... these folks hold 2 hr prayer sessions, some starting as early as 5/6 am. (and that's not even counting attending church service which takes up at least another 2 hours)Plus these folks are not very 'polite' pray-ers... they make so much 'noise'- its like a whole babble of voices rising up to heaven. Not to mention they got very strong knees.... they can kneel on a thin mat covering cement floor very long (for me, anything above 5 mins on my knees is long, ok). So, after India, i took a serious look at my own very limited prayer-life then. I started reading books on prayer; without any exception, i found that every Christian saint worth his salt spent hours in prayer. I guess i shldn't be surprised by this, after all, that's exactly what Jesus taught and modelled in His days on earth. And there is no excuse of no time. Like the rest of us humans, Jesus had 24 hrs a day, He worked full-time (even over-time) , yet prayer was a non-negotiable with Him. So what excuse do we have? I especially have none, since i hv been so blessed with a job that gives me the luxury of free afternoons. Conviction started me on the road to discovering prayer....
8 yrs down the line, i m still discovering new facets about this journey called prayer...expanding from self/family to relatives to frens to strangers, from things to life issues, from people to nations, from 5 mins to 30, to 60 and beyond.. it's like a drop of ink on blotting paper; the prayers just kept on spreading... and i found, hey, there is no lack of stuff to pray for; if we only cared enuf to look around our broken and messed-up world. Truly God Himself puts burdens upon our hearts to pray for.. At one stage tho, i got stumped becoz i ran out of words to pray; but thanks be to God who already provided for this lack - He assures us His Spirit helps us pray with groanings and moanings which He alone understands. Becoz ultimately prayer is birthed in the Spirit, and the spirit doesn't need expression in human language, we need never be stumped over words. At times, its just silence when I come before the Lord in prayer ;those are truly very precious times of refreshing, of simply 'waiting upon the Lord', spirit-to-spirit. Other times i sing my prayers out with a joyful heart, remembering His goodness to me. And many times, its only tears that come out of my eyes instead.
Even tho i may get no answer for a long time, or at all, even tho the answer may not be what i prayed for.. i keep praying anyway, becoz that's what God tells me to do; and that's what Jesus did ....for i hv discovered its not about God answering my prayers really; of coz I want Him to. But i've come to realise praying changes me instead, esp when i dont get what i want the way i want it when i want it . Its the No, Later-not now answers that God deals me , that teaches me so much more than the blessings He does give , such that i finally understand His will is all wise, all knowing, all perfect, and I can trust that He will give me what i need, all that i need, over and beyond anything i could ever ask for.
For no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart can conceive what God hath prepared for those who love Him... Isa 64:4
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