A PENSIVE CHRISTMAS

 I have lived through some 20 years of Christmas services in church. My first Christmas certainly wasn't merry. I was then struggling to cope with a husband stricken with 4th stage cancer. The next few years of Christmas were also not particularly fun, especially hearing all the talk about family gatherings, when I was dealing with being a widow and single mom.  I don't begrudge other people their joy of the Christmas season. But sometimes I think we tend to forget there are  people who are different from the vast majority who have loving families, good frens, nice homes etc etc. Of coz it's not unique to the Christmas season, for even on occasions like  Mother's/Father's Day, I am sure there are folks who feel more keenly the loneliness and emptiness of their lives, especially those struggling with depression, health or whatever issues of the day. 

But thanks be to God who is the Healer of broken hearts. With time, I got to enjoy the Christmas season. Not the Santa Claus, reindeer, Jingle Bells or shopping mall stuff. But for the simple reason spoken in  Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. I  love the familiar worship songs, especially the old hymns, that would be sung at Christmas service in church. And of course there was the fellowship with cell/church members. Over the years as my children grew up, it became customary for us to have a home-cooked family meal together with their uncle-pastor either on the eve or Christmas nite itself. Typically it takes several hours to prepare the dishes. My eldest princess would cook her very delectable mushroom soup, which I swear has no equal. Even after she moved out to stay on her own, she would make it a point to come over to do it. Truly a labor of love. 

However circumstances change; that's life. This year is a very different Christmas for me. My eldest is away on vacation overseas. So no mushroom soup. My no 2, just officially newly-wed , is with husband and in-laws. That leaves me, my one and only son, and the uncle. I figured not much point slaving over the stove for 3 pax, and was thinking of eating out instead. But at the last minute married daughter no 2 invited us over for dinner . How nice, timely and most appropriate indeed to connect together in a now-very extended family. 

 Yet this year I couldn't quite "jive" with the celebratory mood. This Christmas, I felt rather pensive. Maybe because I am on my own  a lot as the (no longer) "kids" are all doing their own thing; which is expected anyway. Mostly I found myself pondering what Christmas actually means to me, after some 20 years.  Whilst I appreciate the familiarity of the Christmas story - the nativity scenes of baby Jesus in a manger, the shepherds in the field, hosts of angels praising God and the wise men on camels bearing gifts for the Christ child -  I got to thinking actually it wasn't a very joyful time 2000 years ago when it happened.  For the birth of Jesus unleashed the fury of a human king who ordered the killing of all male babies below 2 years old in Bethlehem. What a massacre... even if 1 baby was killed, imagine the heart-break.

I think sometimes we get caught up in the baby Jesus narrative too much. For certainly He didn't remain a baby. In the words of the prophet Isaiah, Jesus grew up to be a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Yet for the most part, it's only during Passover (Easter) season, when Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection is emphasized. This year  with so many terrible things happening in our world, I realized so much more forcefully the truth that Jesus was born to die not for anything bad that He did, but for all the bad that humans do. He wasn't born to enjoy life, contrary to what humans aspire to. He was born to give His life for all humans. 

This Christmas, I find myself looking at the birth of Jesus anew through the lens of

Calvary's cross. And my heart is soo... gripped. That the Almighty Creator would stoop so low, to be "created" in a human womb, to go through such human suffering, and die a human death, experiencing all that every human experiences. So that no human could ever say God doesn't understand. He understood. And He left His world called heaven, to purposefully come into our world to give hope where there seems no hope, peace where there is chaos, joy that sustains through pain, and a love divine. 

2 days before Christmas, a group of us gathered together with some Muslim frens in typical Msian "open house" style. There was a mix of Chinese, Indian, Malay, and Peranakan folks just enjoying food and each other's company. There were no  sermons preached, no worship session, no testimony shared. For all present already know or at least have heard the biblical account of Christ as the perfect gift of God for all humanity.  Instead we played a game centering around a poster which our host pulled out from the Internet depicting people in various positions on a tree. Each of us would indicate where we were on the tree and why we thought we were at that particular position in this season. Quite obviously the tree represented the journey of our lives on earth. It certainly was a thought-provoking exercise.

There's a Chinese proverb which goes something like this: every baby comes into this world through a door called life, and then in time leaves this world through another door called death. But the good news is Christ the Son of Man stepped out of the death door, closed it and opened another new door called eternal life for all who would follow Him.                            

And it isn't just on the 1 day called Christmas, not just in 1 place called church.  It's everyday everywhere that whosoever who shall call on the name of the Lord Jesus shall be saved, according to His promise. After all, the Bible doesn't record the exact date when Jesus was born. So hope, peace, joy and love that comes from knowing this Person named Jesus isn't  just words to songs that Christians  sing on 25th December; it's a lifetime waiting to be experienced by all, so we can not only survive but win and thrive in this very messy world we live in, especially in times such as these. Thus... 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you..." 1 Peter 1:3-4