A PENSIVE CHRISTMAS

 I have lived through some 20 years of Christmas services in church. My first Christmas certainly wasn't merry. I was then struggling to cope with a husband stricken with 4th stage cancer. The next few years of Christmas were also not particularly fun, especially hearing all the talk about family gatherings, when I was dealing with being a widow and single mom.  I don't begrudge other people their joy of the Christmas season. But sometimes I think we tend to forget there are  people who are different from the vast majority who have loving families, good frens, nice homes etc etc. Of coz it's not unique to the Christmas season, for even on occasions like  Mother's/Father's Day, I am sure there are folks who feel more keenly the loneliness and emptiness of their lives, especially those struggling with depression, health or whatever issues of the day. 

But thanks be to God who is the Healer of broken hearts. With time, I got to enjoy the Christmas season. Not the Santa Claus, reindeer, Jingle Bells or shopping mall stuff. But for the simple reason spoken in  Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. I  love the familiar worship songs, especially the old hymns, that would be sung at Christmas service in church. And of course there was the fellowship with cell/church members. Over the years as my children grew up, it became customary for us to have a home-cooked family meal together with their uncle-pastor either on the eve or Christmas nite itself. Typically it takes several hours to prepare the dishes. My eldest princess would cook her very delectable mushroom soup, which I swear has no equal. Even after she moved out to stay on her own, she would make it a point to come over to do it. Truly a labor of love. 

However circumstances change; that's life. This year is a very different Christmas for me. My eldest is away on vacation overseas. So no mushroom soup. My no 2, just officially newly-wed , is with husband and in-laws. That leaves me, my one and only son, and the uncle. I figured not much point slaving over the stove for 3 pax, and was thinking of eating out instead. But at the last minute married daughter no 2 invited us over for dinner . How nice, timely and most appropriate indeed to connect together in a now-very extended family. 

 Yet this year I couldn't quite "jive" with the celebratory mood. This Christmas, I felt rather pensive. Maybe because I am on my own  a lot as the (no longer) "kids" are all doing their own thing; which is expected anyway. Mostly I found myself pondering what Christmas actually means to me, after some 20 years.  Whilst I appreciate the familiarity of the Christmas story - the nativity scenes of baby Jesus in a manger, the shepherds in the field, hosts of angels praising God and the wise men on camels bearing gifts for the Christ child -  I got to thinking actually it wasn't a very joyful time 2000 years ago when it happened.  For the birth of Jesus unleashed the fury of a human king who ordered the killing of all male babies below 2 years old in Bethlehem. What a massacre... even if 1 baby was killed, imagine the heart-break.

I think sometimes we get caught up in the baby Jesus narrative too much. For certainly He didn't remain a baby. In the words of the prophet Isaiah, Jesus grew up to be a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Yet for the most part, it's only during Passover (Easter) season, when Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection is emphasized. This year  with so many terrible things happening in our world, I realized so much more forcefully the truth that Jesus was born to die not for anything bad that He did, but for all the bad that humans do. He wasn't born to enjoy life, contrary to what humans aspire to. He was born to give His life for all humans. 

This Christmas, I find myself looking at the birth of Jesus anew through the lens of

Calvary's cross. And my heart is soo... gripped. That the Almighty Creator would stoop so low, to be "created" in a human womb, to go through such human suffering, and die a human death, experiencing all that every human experiences. So that no human could ever say God doesn't understand. He understood. And He left His world called heaven, to purposefully come into our world to give hope where there seems no hope, peace where there is chaos, joy that sustains through pain, and a love divine. 

2 days before Christmas, a group of us gathered together with some Muslim frens in typical Msian "open house" style. There was a mix of Chinese, Indian, Malay, and Peranakan folks just enjoying food and each other's company. There were no  sermons preached, no worship session, no testimony shared. For all present already know or at least have heard the biblical account of Christ as the perfect gift of God for all humanity.  Instead we played a game centering around a poster which our host pulled out from the Internet depicting people in various positions on a tree. Each of us would indicate where we were on the tree and why we thought we were at that particular position in this season. Quite obviously the tree represented the journey of our lives on earth. It certainly was a thought-provoking exercise.

There's a Chinese proverb which goes something like this: every baby comes into this world through a door called life, and then in time leaves this world through another door called death. But the good news is Christ the Son of Man stepped out of the death door, closed it and opened another new door called eternal life for all who would follow Him.                            

And it isn't just on the 1 day called Christmas, not just in 1 place called church.  It's everyday everywhere that whosoever who shall call on the name of the Lord Jesus shall be saved, according to His promise. After all, the Bible doesn't record the exact date when Jesus was born. So hope, peace, joy and love that comes from knowing this Person named Jesus isn't  just words to songs that Christians  sing on 25th December; it's a lifetime waiting to be experienced by all, so we can not only survive but win and thrive in this very messy world we live in, especially in times such as these. Thus... 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you..." 1 Peter 1:3-4 

Fitting Finale

There were audible wows all across the room as she glided in, to the stirring strain
of a violin played by him, trailing her. She was every inch a vision in white, as all brides are on their wedding day.  But this was a wedding with a difference. Here was a groom with a violin in hand.  Quite unlike the traditional bridal couple sitting down at a round table for hours, just looking good, eating and shaking hands with guests. 

As my daughter flitted nimbly across the stage, swirling and twirling around, it was as if he was wooing her. They were such a beautiful sight as he laid aside his violin to waltz together. But the finale drew another gasp from the enraptured audience in the hotel ball-room as he flipped her deftly and she fell so naturally to be caught up in his arms. They had done this same maneuver earlier before a smaller (family) crowd walking down the aisle after being pronounced man and wife by her uncle officiating as Pastor. I don't know how many rounds they practiced but we were all suitably very very impressed. I guess all those dancing lessons she took paid off handsomely in the performance of a life-time. It was a most fitting finale to cap the official wedding ceremony of my 2nd daughter.

I must say I am the most blessed and most relaxed mother-in-law. Contrary to what my friends naturally assumed, I wasn't the bit hassled or frazzled. In fact, right up to the eve of the wedding, I was happily doing my own thing, feeding the street people in my regular Saturday ministry and preaching at night. Even on the day itself, I could still attend morning church  service. 

I call Sha-Lyn, my 'sweet-heart', because she is very sweet-looking. But make no mistake, she's got steel somewhere inside her. Every inch the independent, efficient organizer and executioner of things, which incidentally was what her office colleagues said when I stopped by their table during the wedding dinner. 

So from day one, when I was told of the marriage date, Sha-Lyn herself had handled everything. I only had to give her my list of relatives/guests and confirm some customary rites for the Chinese tea ceremony which we weren't sure of (me being the white banana I am.) Rufus, my new son-in-law, is apparently the creative one, which I can appreciate. But he was working overseas, and she was here. So obviously she did all the running around, pulling everything together to culminate in a brilliantly run wedding from start to finish, with very personal and unique touches. A-typically, there was no wedding march or worship songs during the exchange of vows ceremony. Plus on top of the traditional Christian marriage vows, they added their own. Furthermore quite unlike the usual finger-food pre-dinner refreshments, there was a whole roasted pig for guests to tuck in. 

And it all flowed so well, according to time. I am sure all guests were relieved when dinner started just 15 minutes, not 1.5 hours late. The speeches were all short and sweet.  Guests got to have their photos instantly snapped to be collated with their written well-wishes in a book. They could also choose to answer fun or serious questions that would be tagged onto their snapshot. Even the angpows with messages were collated. The couple designed their own photo album, and  composed their own poetry for it. They decided the theme, decor and programme, as well as  got their own personal friends to be MCs for the evening. 

Contrary to my own expectations, I didn't cry, unlike the time of the couple's earlier registration in March 2023. But for my part this round,  I didn't want to just stand up on stage and rattle off the obligatory thank you's. So I spoke what was in my heart; that which is the desire of every parent - to see their off-spring marry. I shared my own marriage experience and what the marriage covenant is meant to be - a seal on a most sacred "heart-transaction" called love between 2 parties, meant for perpetuity. I threw in that old anecdote of why God took a bone out of Adam's rib (not his head or his feet), to create Eve so they could walk together side-by-side completing and complementing each other in a life sealed in love for God and for each other. It was with a very full heart as I blessed my daughter and son-in-law publicly to grow old together, through thick and thin, through sunshine and shadow, to climb mountains and meander thru valleys, to be rooted in God's perfect love, to mature thru the seasons of time and bloom to bear forth much beautiful fruit. From all accounts, it was a speech that resonated well. I was very much encouraged when a lady whom I didn't know drew me aside as I was walking around, to say she felt I spoke her heart as a parent with adult children who weren't interested in marriage. Truly it was God's timely word to both the old and young generation in the audience. 

What I couldn't do during the wedding dinner, I managed to do the morning after. Over breakfast and lunch  I had the chance to catch up with different groups of my relatives from Alor Star, JB and Kota Baru. I am so glad to be able to testify to my niece (herself widowed 5 years ago), who had been turned off "church" by a bad experience with Christians. Amazingly I even got to pray healing for a total stranger as we finished breakfast at the hotel.  A young man had collapsed near the  lift; probably due to over-exertion after gym. Thank God he slowly recovered in the arms of his distraught father. 

But that wasn't the end of it all. In rushing to change attire after the tea ceremony, I had lost one of my earrings, a precious family heirloom handed down from my mother.  I discovered the loss only  after I checked into the neighboring hotel (where my relatives were put up,)  at a very late hour as I was caught up in the very bad Bkt Bintang traffic jam after dinner ended.

 It was only after I came home that I told my daughter to please search for it in the bridal suite which I had used to change. I didn't have much hope of it being found, as it was a very big area.  I just prayed, Lord, I know it's just an object, it's not even all that valuable really.  Whilst I am prepared to accept the loss, since it's my own carelessness, but it really really means a lot to me. Lo and behold, the next day, my daughter tells me she found it on an arm-rest. 

I am once again ever so grateful I have a God who hears and answers prayers. Even /especially when I don't deserve it. And I am not talking about ear-rings. As I see it, God is in the business of restoring all, big or small thing, that has been lost in my family. This is the very first wedding in my own generational line.  I can only thank God He answers a mom's earnest and much protracted prayer in such a grand way; thus I can declare it to be the break-through that has begun and will continue in the lives of my other 2 children as well till its perfect finale when Christ comes again. Be it according to His word...

Mic 2:13 He who opens the breach goes up before them; they break through and pass the gate, going out by it. Their king passes on before them, the LORD at their head.