A PENSIVE CHRISTMAS

 I have lived through some 20 years of Christmas services in church. My first Christmas certainly wasn't merry. I was then struggling to cope with a husband stricken with 4th stage cancer. The next few years of Christmas were also not particularly fun, especially hearing all the talk about family gatherings, when I was dealing with being a widow and single mom.  I don't begrudge other people their joy of the Christmas season. But sometimes I think we tend to forget there are  people who are different from the vast majority who have loving families, good frens, nice homes etc etc. Of coz it's not unique to the Christmas season, for even on occasions like  Mother's/Father's Day, I am sure there are folks who feel more keenly the loneliness and emptiness of their lives, especially those struggling with depression, health or whatever issues of the day. 

But thanks be to God who is the Healer of broken hearts. With time, I got to enjoy the Christmas season. Not the Santa Claus, reindeer, Jingle Bells or shopping mall stuff. But for the simple reason spoken in  Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. I  love the familiar worship songs, especially the old hymns, that would be sung at Christmas service in church. And of course there was the fellowship with cell/church members. Over the years as my children grew up, it became customary for us to have a home-cooked family meal together with their uncle-pastor either on the eve or Christmas nite itself. Typically it takes several hours to prepare the dishes. My eldest princess would cook her very delectable mushroom soup, which I swear has no equal. Even after she moved out to stay on her own, she would make it a point to come over to do it. Truly a labor of love. 

However circumstances change; that's life. This year is a very different Christmas for me. My eldest is away on vacation overseas. So no mushroom soup. My no 2, just officially newly-wed , is with husband and in-laws. That leaves me, my one and only son, and the uncle. I figured not much point slaving over the stove for 3 pax, and was thinking of eating out instead. But at the last minute married daughter no 2 invited us over for dinner . How nice, timely and most appropriate indeed to connect together in a now-very extended family. 

 Yet this year I couldn't quite "jive" with the celebratory mood. This Christmas, I felt rather pensive. Maybe because I am on my own  a lot as the (no longer) "kids" are all doing their own thing; which is expected anyway. Mostly I found myself pondering what Christmas actually means to me, after some 20 years.  Whilst I appreciate the familiarity of the Christmas story - the nativity scenes of baby Jesus in a manger, the shepherds in the field, hosts of angels praising God and the wise men on camels bearing gifts for the Christ child -  I got to thinking actually it wasn't a very joyful time 2000 years ago when it happened.  For the birth of Jesus unleashed the fury of a human king who ordered the killing of all male babies below 2 years old in Bethlehem. What a massacre... even if 1 baby was killed, imagine the heart-break.

I think sometimes we get caught up in the baby Jesus narrative too much. For certainly He didn't remain a baby. In the words of the prophet Isaiah, Jesus grew up to be a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Yet for the most part, it's only during Passover (Easter) season, when Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection is emphasized. This year  with so many terrible things happening in our world, I realized so much more forcefully the truth that Jesus was born to die not for anything bad that He did, but for all the bad that humans do. He wasn't born to enjoy life, contrary to what humans aspire to. He was born to give His life for all humans. 

This Christmas, I find myself looking at the birth of Jesus anew through the lens of

Calvary's cross. And my heart is soo... gripped. That the Almighty Creator would stoop so low, to be "created" in a human womb, to go through such human suffering, and die a human death, experiencing all that every human experiences. So that no human could ever say God doesn't understand. He understood. And He left His world called heaven, to purposefully come into our world to give hope where there seems no hope, peace where there is chaos, joy that sustains through pain, and a love divine. 

2 days before Christmas, a group of us gathered together with some Muslim frens in typical Msian "open house" style. There was a mix of Chinese, Indian, Malay, and Peranakan folks just enjoying food and each other's company. There were no  sermons preached, no worship session, no testimony shared. For all present already know or at least have heard the biblical account of Christ as the perfect gift of God for all humanity.  Instead we played a game centering around a poster which our host pulled out from the Internet depicting people in various positions on a tree. Each of us would indicate where we were on the tree and why we thought we were at that particular position in this season. Quite obviously the tree represented the journey of our lives on earth. It certainly was a thought-provoking exercise.

There's a Chinese proverb which goes something like this: every baby comes into this world through a door called life, and then in time leaves this world through another door called death. But the good news is Christ the Son of Man stepped out of the death door, closed it and opened another new door called eternal life for all who would follow Him.                            

And it isn't just on the 1 day called Christmas, not just in 1 place called church.  It's everyday everywhere that whosoever who shall call on the name of the Lord Jesus shall be saved, according to His promise. After all, the Bible doesn't record the exact date when Jesus was born. So hope, peace, joy and love that comes from knowing this Person named Jesus isn't  just words to songs that Christians  sing on 25th December; it's a lifetime waiting to be experienced by all, so we can not only survive but win and thrive in this very messy world we live in, especially in times such as these. Thus... 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you..." 1 Peter 1:3-4 

Fitting Finale

There were audible wows all across the room as she glided in, to the stirring strain
of a violin played by him, trailing her. She was every inch a vision in white, as all brides are on their wedding day.  But this was a wedding with a difference. Here was a groom with a violin in hand.  Quite unlike the traditional bridal couple sitting down at a round table for hours, just looking good, eating and shaking hands with guests. 

As my daughter flitted nimbly across the stage, swirling and twirling around, it was as if he was wooing her. They were such a beautiful sight as he laid aside his violin to waltz together. But the finale drew another gasp from the enraptured audience in the hotel ball-room as he flipped her deftly and she fell so naturally to be caught up in his arms. They had done this same maneuver earlier before a smaller (family) crowd walking down the aisle after being pronounced man and wife by her uncle officiating as Pastor. I don't know how many rounds they practiced but we were all suitably very very impressed. I guess all those dancing lessons she took paid off handsomely in the performance of a life-time. It was a most fitting finale to cap the official wedding ceremony of my 2nd daughter.

I must say I am the most blessed and most relaxed mother-in-law. Contrary to what my friends naturally assumed, I wasn't the bit hassled or frazzled. In fact, right up to the eve of the wedding, I was happily doing my own thing, feeding the street people in my regular Saturday ministry and preaching at night. Even on the day itself, I could still attend morning church  service. 

I call Sha-Lyn, my 'sweet-heart', because she is very sweet-looking. But make no mistake, she's got steel somewhere inside her. Every inch the independent, efficient organizer and executioner of things, which incidentally was what her office colleagues said when I stopped by their table during the wedding dinner. 

So from day one, when I was told of the marriage date, Sha-Lyn herself had handled everything. I only had to give her my list of relatives/guests and confirm some customary rites for the Chinese tea ceremony which we weren't sure of (me being the white banana I am.) Rufus, my new son-in-law, is apparently the creative one, which I can appreciate. But he was working overseas, and she was here. So obviously she did all the running around, pulling everything together to culminate in a brilliantly run wedding from start to finish, with very personal and unique touches. A-typically, there was no wedding march or worship songs during the exchange of vows ceremony. Plus on top of the traditional Christian marriage vows, they added their own. Furthermore quite unlike the usual finger-food pre-dinner refreshments, there was a whole roasted pig for guests to tuck in. 

And it all flowed so well, according to time. I am sure all guests were relieved when dinner started just 15 minutes, not 1.5 hours late. The speeches were all short and sweet.  Guests got to have their photos instantly snapped to be collated with their written well-wishes in a book. They could also choose to answer fun or serious questions that would be tagged onto their snapshot. Even the angpows with messages were collated. The couple designed their own photo album, and  composed their own poetry for it. They decided the theme, decor and programme, as well as  got their own personal friends to be MCs for the evening. 

Contrary to my own expectations, I didn't cry, unlike the time of the couple's earlier registration in March 2023. But for my part this round,  I didn't want to just stand up on stage and rattle off the obligatory thank you's. So I spoke what was in my heart; that which is the desire of every parent - to see their off-spring marry. I shared my own marriage experience and what the marriage covenant is meant to be - a seal on a most sacred "heart-transaction" called love between 2 parties, meant for perpetuity. I threw in that old anecdote of why God took a bone out of Adam's rib (not his head or his feet), to create Eve so they could walk together side-by-side completing and complementing each other in a life sealed in love for God and for each other. It was with a very full heart as I blessed my daughter and son-in-law publicly to grow old together, through thick and thin, through sunshine and shadow, to climb mountains and meander thru valleys, to be rooted in God's perfect love, to mature thru the seasons of time and bloom to bear forth much beautiful fruit. From all accounts, it was a speech that resonated well. I was very much encouraged when a lady whom I didn't know drew me aside as I was walking around, to say she felt I spoke her heart as a parent with adult children who weren't interested in marriage. Truly it was God's timely word to both the old and young generation in the audience. 

What I couldn't do during the wedding dinner, I managed to do the morning after. Over breakfast and lunch  I had the chance to catch up with different groups of my relatives from Alor Star, JB and Kota Baru. I am so glad to be able to testify to my niece (herself widowed 5 years ago), who had been turned off "church" by a bad experience with Christians. Amazingly I even got to pray healing for a total stranger as we finished breakfast at the hotel.  A young man had collapsed near the  lift; probably due to over-exertion after gym. Thank God he slowly recovered in the arms of his distraught father. 

But that wasn't the end of it all. In rushing to change attire after the tea ceremony, I had lost one of my earrings, a precious family heirloom handed down from my mother.  I discovered the loss only  after I checked into the neighboring hotel (where my relatives were put up,)  at a very late hour as I was caught up in the very bad Bkt Bintang traffic jam after dinner ended.

 It was only after I came home that I told my daughter to please search for it in the bridal suite which I had used to change. I didn't have much hope of it being found, as it was a very big area.  I just prayed, Lord, I know it's just an object, it's not even all that valuable really.  Whilst I am prepared to accept the loss, since it's my own carelessness, but it really really means a lot to me. Lo and behold, the next day, my daughter tells me she found it on an arm-rest. 

I am once again ever so grateful I have a God who hears and answers prayers. Even /especially when I don't deserve it. And I am not talking about ear-rings. As I see it, God is in the business of restoring all, big or small thing, that has been lost in my family. This is the very first wedding in my own generational line.  I can only thank God He answers a mom's earnest and much protracted prayer in such a grand way; thus I can declare it to be the break-through that has begun and will continue in the lives of my other 2 children as well till its perfect finale when Christ comes again. Be it according to His word...

Mic 2:13 He who opens the breach goes up before them; they break through and pass the gate, going out by it. Their king passes on before them, the LORD at their head.

Would Love Kill?

The story-line attracted me, plus there was Leonardo Di Caprio and my old hero Robert de Niro as leads. But I balked at the run-time of Killers of the Flower Moon. 3.5 hours is almost as long as Gone with the Wind; that’s a very looong movie. In the end I found myself in an almost empty cinema on a week-day morning. There were just 5 other people besides me crazy enough to sit through the whole thing with no intermission for breather/toilet breaks. Yes, it was that engrossing; at least for me. 

When the movie popped up on my fb, my first thought was what a strange title for a show. But apparently there’s a season in Oklahoma when blooming flowers die as taller plants crowd them out. So the Osage refers to it as the time of the flower-killing moon. And it’s really an apt metaphor considering the horrifying real-life tale of “big people” (whites) literally killing off “small people ”(the Osage natives).

I had read a bit about the serial murders of the Osage tribe in Oklahoma which was the subject of a 2017 best-seller written by journalist David Grann. Known as the Reign of Terror, it stretched from 1921 to 1926. According to Wikipedia, some 60 or more “wealthy, full-blood Osage persons were reported killed from 1918 to 1931.. Further research has shown that the death toll may have been in the hundreds.” All for money. It was that simple – greed. Because the Osage tribe was sitting on oil land, and had become the richest people in the world at that time. The only catch was the law assigned them a guardian (almost always a white man) who controlled their money. No surprise that these guardians withheld, stole and killed to get the Osage inheritance.   Even the town undertaker not only charges Osage much more than whites for funerals but steals precious stuff from their dead. Talk about robbery. How can one not be angry at such exploitation, oppression and injustice? But to murder in cold blood just to cash in on the natives’ oil rights and insurance policies takes evil to another level altogether.

The 2 male stars fleshed out their screen characters very well. Di Caprio has aged considerably from his Titanic days, but his portrayal as Ernest, the white man who married Mollie, a full-blood Osage is excellent. The way he knits his brow and purses his lips as he allows himself to be manipulated by his uncle into marrying Mollie and committing murders purely to cheat and rob has me wondering - does he really not know it’s wrong?  Throw in an 80 year old Robert De Niro as William Hale who certainly takes the cake as the villain and mastermind, hiding so well behind a mask of charity and kindness, as the self-proclaimed king of the Osage hills . Add a bunch of petty criminals who have no qualms about being paid to kill. End result is a picture of really bad guys running around creating fear and havoc amongst a people who is transitioning from being a “colored native” to “civilised (?) modernity.” The opening scene is so potent – the Osage elders are mourning the passing of their traditional way of life by burying their ceremonial pipe, even as they anticipate a brand new world with their new-found wealth.  Little did they know they would soon be burying many of their dead. 

I have never heard of Lily Gladstone who plays Mollie, but she is one heck of an actress. Nothing of the pretty delicate damsel being swept off her feet by the white knight in shining armour. No Barbie doll here. Beautiful in all her plain-ness.  She doesn’t say much, maybe it’s what she doesn’t say that packs so much depth. At first I couldn’t understand why she reported herself “Incompetent” to a guy sitting behind a desk. I cannot imagine having to report myself as “Incompetent” to an outsider to get what’s rightfully the proceeds from my own land….Even when I or my family members are sick, or I wanna go on a trip, I must "justify", like beg permission to use my own money…. Oh, the sheer ignominy and ridiculousness of it all. 

Mollie lost all her family members – mother, 2 sisters, brother-in-law, and cousin; who all died either violently or in suspicious circumstances. Even whites allied to  them were not spared. No investigation was conducted into any of the numerous prior deaths that had occurred amongst the tribe. It took the newly created Bureau of Investigation (precursor of the FBI) to come down all the way from Washington to take over the reins and the plot.  Of course good always triumphs over evil. So everything unravels and truth has its day in court. 

There’s a scene when Hale states pointedly to the impressionable Ernest “..the miracles that happened in the bible don’t happen anymore, don’t you know that?” To which Ernest replies, "Of course I know that." Well, looks like the end result proved them wrong. Truth prevailed despite all the wheeling and dealing to suppress it.  That’s a miracle in itself. Especially when Ernest as the star witness had already been intimidated, confused and convinced not to testify for the prosecution. Only the death of his child did something in his heart to spill the beans. Miracles are of the divine, and only God can touch the deepest depths of the human heart to respond, totally out of expectation. Truly God’s ways are higher than man’s.

It's sad though how Mollie has to deal with the heart-break of knowing in the end that the man who professed to love her can so judiciously and “caringly” poison her everyday. Bad enough she knows he married her for her money, but there was surely some love in it somewhere along the line. Even if he's simple-minded, surely Ernest would have at least suspected that it’s the “medicine” that’s killing her slowly but surely, and not some mysterious wasting disease? If he really loves her,  does he not feel anything, executing the murders of her family – his own extended family? How true as the Bible puts it in Jeremiah 17:9 “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” 

The truth is we are so deceived by our own hearts we can’t see our wickedness. So the mastermind culprit Hale insists the Osage people still support him, despite Ernest telling him it’s all over. Amazingly he’s so confident, saying “…There might be some insurrection for a while. But then people forget that. They don't remember and they don't care. It will be another ordinary everyday tragedy.” What kind of heart considers murdering people, scheming to steal away another’s property and inheritance an ordinary everyday tragedy? It’s not tragedy, it’s travesty. 

But that’s how we can so easily deceive ourselves, seeing only what we want to see. Indeed Hale doesn’t “get it”; even in prison serving a life sentence, he is writing letters to the Osage espousing his undying friendship and love for them. The worse part is he honestly believes himself. He was paroled after 18 years and according to official records, “he never admitted to the murders, and a psychological evaluator noted "he has put behind him any feeling of shame or repentance he may have had (Wikipedia). Isn’t that the typical inherent nature of mankind, refusing to see/admit we are wrong, that we are all sinners in the eyes of a most holy God, who sits as the righteous Judge over all.  

The miracle is despite all the evil that man do, despite all the terrible things that keep happening all over the world, God causes everything (including all the bad) to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). So even back then, in the throes of the horrible Reign of Terror, in 1925, the United States Congress passed a law to bar the inheritance of Osage headrights by non-Osage people. Of course it’s not just the Osage people. It’s a historical fact that the first peoples of many nations have been unfairly treated, oppressed and deprived of their rights. So the billion-dollar question that man always ask : Why can’t/won’t God stop the bad things instead of letting them happen? Well, perhaps instead of questioning God, we should be asking ourselves why we do or don’t do this or that. Mayhap then we will see ourselves as we really are, through His eyes.  After all, God has already given  mankind the  miracle solution - Jesus Christ who came, died and rose again to set all things right. 

Dead (Scary) Mission

Ok, so he's 61 years old, but Tom Cruise still cuts a very dashing figure like he did in Top Gun. And yes, he's still fighting fit as Ethan Hunt, the rogue spy of Mission Impossible (MI) fame. I have always enjoyed the crazy mind-boggling, heart-stopping stunts which MI is known for. The latest MI 7 even ups the ante - kudos to Tom Cruise for executing them all himself, with only minimal CGI help. From furiously thrashing a tiny yellow Fiat on narrow streets, through back-alleys, up and down stone-steps, whilst handcuffed to his female side-kick to dangling from train compartments rapidly plunging off a bombed-out bridge to charging off a cliff on a motorcycle, MI 7 is truly a wild wild adventure.  Add to that.. lots of no holds barred combat on train tops, ducking tunnels and facing off 2 assassins in a narrow back-lane. It's the whole world going all out to get 1 man who is set on saving the world, which really looks like a Mission Impossible, with all the twists and turns in the plot. 

This time round, there's more interesting female protagonists to flesh out the scenes. The selfish, the good, the evil  -they are all there. And all so well-played out too. What a fitting irony to name the less than honorable thief Grace, who starts out with no qualms (and certainly no grace), confessing about making a dishonest living for herself. Just like Alanna, the White Widow, whose aim is to make friends with everybody so she can preserve her own little empire. How very like our real cut-throat world, where dog eats dog and only the fittest survive, where everyone's priority is about I, me and mine. 

But it's that very reality which makes the transformation of Grace - smart, beautiful, but still just a petty thief - so much more poignant. She is reluctantly dragged into something much bigger than herself, in a  race for 2 keys that will determine the future of the world and who will dominate it. There are 2 particularly touching scenes which I resonated with. One was when Grace wonders about Ilsa, (the female "counter-part" of Ethan), who was killed off by the villain in her place, " Am I the reason she's dead?" And Ethan's comrade Luther answers, "No, she's the reason you're alive."  What a revelation. I am alive today, in fact I am guaranteed eternal life,  because Someone died for me. The truth is 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ gave up His life willingly so that no one need perish. That's how much amazing grace God gives to a wicked world, which gets wicked-er all the time. 

I hear echoes of Jesus' heart when  Ethan swears to Grace that her life (and the lives of his friends) will always matter more to him than his own. What's more poignant is when she looks bewilderingly at him, stating the obvious "You don't even know me." And his reply "What difference does it make?" I venture Jesus would probably have said much the same thing had any human questioned His motive for coming into and saving our world. It doesn't matter to God how dishonest, selfish, bad or downright evil any human is. No one is beyond God's love or redemption. It makes no difference to God that we reject or don't believe Him. All lives matter to God; that's why He would go to the greatest extent to save all lives; through His one and only Son, Jesus Christ. Just as Ethan was (dead) serious to keep his promise to Grace, to be on that train with her somehow, because her life mattered... to him.  

Grace would have remembered Ethan's words even as she handed over the much coveted keys, watching the digital download of $10 million being transferred into her account.  In this real world too, we can very well question:  How much are we worth?  In those count-down moments, Grace underwent a literal turn-around.  She recognized she was selling her soul. In Christian terms, she was convicted. And that eventually leads to her choice to accept and be accepted as part of the Impossible Mission Force (IMF).  Our life does boil  down to making the right choice. For when the truth about our own soul hits us, we have to decide whether to get onto the only right way which God has opened up through the cross of Christ. 

As Ilsa puts it so succintly, "..the world is changing. Truth is vanishing." That's the premise of the entire show actually. And seeing it all played out can be pretty scary as MI7 takes us into a future where everything and everyone is controlled by this AI Entity,  the most fearsome state of the art killing machine ever devised, impossible to find. Imagine it knows every single thing about you, how you think and will act, from your past down to your future. Everyone's fate is written, "it knows your story and how it ends." 

It plays tricks with your mind and your eyes. This is so eerily demonstrated in the airport scenes. One minute the person is there standing in front of you, the next second, he vanishes into thin air - he was never there in the first place. People's faces are so easily superimposed interchangeably on screen. Yes, it's a movie, but  it's an obvious harbinger of what's already happening and/or to come, as even today, humans everywhere grapple with fake news by the minute and the untapped unknown implications of AI. We are already forewarned about the very real likelihood of very intelligent machines taking over our world. Quoting Christian Ious Lange: Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master. 

Interestingly Gabriel the villain is named the Dark Messiah, who “sees death as a gift he wants to share with the rest of the world.” He “can be anything, and.. knows everything,” because he is in cahoots with an all-intelligent Entity. Thankfully, in my bible, there is a real Messiah, the Anointed One - Jesus Christ, whose gift is abundant life,  who resurrected from death and walked out alive from a closed tomb. Ethan squares off to Gabriel, saying "If anything happens to them (his friends),  there’s no place that I won’t go to kill you and your g-d. That is written." Indeed there's no limit to the gods of this world. But it is already written in the Bible there is only 1 true, living God who saves to the uttermost those who would choose Him.  

As Kittridge, the CIA director says to Ethan "You need to pick a side....our lives are the sum of our choices..".  In his realistic humanistic view "Your days of fighting for the so-called greater good are over. This is our chance to control the truth, the concepts of right and wrong for everyone for centuries to come..." That's the voice of greed for ultimate power - world domination, through all means at all cost. 

But it looks like the hero's heart is still set in the right place . And mayhap this is what draws out the best in people, even overturning evil for good. As with Paris, the highly skilled, merciless female antagonist who chases Ethan all over the place,  hell-bent on her assignment to kill him. Yet because he spares her life in an alleyway duel, she reaches out to grab his hand as he loses his grip in the train that's hurtling down into sure death. And with what seems to be her dying breath, she reveals to Ethan the hiding place of the sunken submarine which holds the Entity.  Which of coz sets us up for Part 2 of Dead Reckoning, the ultimate war between a supremely intelligent force that seeks to steal, kill and destroy versus humans with hearts who still believe in honoring and protecting life. I can't wait. 

"This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men  by which we must be saved." - Acts 4:11-12

  

   

 

  

Destiny Calling

 Destiny...that's a big word, and very much open to all sorts of interpretation, depending on one's world view. And Hollywood. So how does an 80 year old Harrison Ford play it out in Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, his latest and last Indy (5) adventure ?Very very well indeed. I take my hats off to this old hero - wrinkles, white hair,  flabby skin and all. 

Apparently Indy 5 is premised on a real historical artefact. National Geographic published on 6/7/2023 reported " Said by some to the world’s first computer, the Antikythera Mechanism rested at the bottom of Mediterranean for more than 2,000 years... (there really is a place called Antikythera - it's an island between mainland Greece and Crete)...its 82 fragments were once a functioning astronomical device that could predict the positions of the sun, moon, and planets." A real human - Archimedes the renowned Greek mathematician - is widely thought to have invented the technology of this device. 

Of course, Hollywood weaved real history with a heavy dose of artistic license and came up with an intriguing story of it holding the code to time travel. Throw in  a power-obsessed Nazi idealist who aims to change history by going back in time to kill and replace Hitler to win the World War. As Voller the mad scientist puts it, "Yesterday belongs to us... Whoever holds it (the dial) won’t be the King, the Emperor, or the Fuhrer. He’ll be a god." Ya, that's how crazed this villain is, and he's got a team of really bad guys to do the dirty work of killing whoever stands in his way. 

All that makes up for hard, fast and furious action that sees all sorts of chases and crashes in all sorts of vehicles across land, sea and air in real world locations . It's like whatever there is that can move - trains, cars, aeroplanes, boats, tuk-tuks - Indy's in it. There's even a horseback pursuit right in the middle of a celebration parade culminating in a subway station that really takes the cake. 

And talking about cakes, now there's new icing too -  the perfect foil to Indy : a PYT- pretty young thing - certainly not sweet, on the contrary, she packs a powerful punch - literally. Smart and brash, knows what she wants and goes all out to get it - that's Helena Shaw, Indy's god-daughter, who proclaims "Sorry, Indy. I don't do noble. Just hard maths...the only thing you can believe in is cash." Yet she still has a heart left at the end of it all. For she not only stages a fantastic rescue but brings about healing for an old man, who sees no more meaning in life. So after all the mad adrenaline-pumping scenes , it's actually the last 10 minutes of the 2 1/2 hour movie that made me cry.   

Actually the emotions had started kicking in as I watched a bored Professor Indiana Jones explaining some ancient history lesson to an even more bored audience of youngsters. What an anti-climax to making history in his hey-days. As his faithful side-kick Sallah reminisced, " I miss the desert. I miss the sea. I miss waking up every morning wondering what wonderful adventure the new day will bring us."  Indiana Jones the ultimate adventurer must have felt it every day since he put away his whip and hat to settle for a mundane teaching job. Even worse must be the grief of losing a son to war and the break-up with a wife he still loves. No wonder Indy confesses "Everything hurts." 

Obviously it wasn't just the physical aging. The most poignant heart-breaking question he threw back at Helena who was trying to convince him to return to their own time zone came in just 2 words, "For who?" The most terrible feeling in life isn't physical; it's the loneliness and hopelessness  of a life that has lost all its meaning;  that no one cares anymore anyhow anyway. 

I am sure all of us have at one time or another wished we could turn back the clock of our lives, and stay in a certain period where we have experienced the "highs" and never move on to hit the "lows". Surely we have all wished we could somehow go back to erase the mistakes, delete the wrong choices we have made along the way of living. 

Well, Indy is in such a hard place he prefers to remain in 214 BC  rather than come back to his real-life time in 1969. He is already wounded, physically and emotionally. The Siege of Syracuse is really playing out before him and hey, there's Archimedes himself in the flesh to talk to. The past is way better than his present by all appearances; he's got nothing to lose and all to gain by the looks of it. If he has to die to stay put in 214 BC, so be it. 

But that's not what his destiny is. When he asked why Helena saved him, dragging him back into 1969 , she responds so well,  "You are meant to be here, Indy." But he still can't see; he's still stuck in the "what for " mode . And then his wife walks in, looks him in the eye and asks pointedly "Are you back, Indy?" That's when the light comes back on in his darkened heart. And to complete it, his buddy Sallah  walks in too, kids in tow.   

That's destiny. We are all meant to be here today, the time and place of our "now", no matter how attractive the "then of our yesterday." We all have a "home" to return to from our wanderings, where love abides with real family and friends. 

That's the destiny a good God has ordained for all of mankind on earth - not to perish, but to be blessed with life eternal. Sin has short-circuited it; got us wandering off into all sorts of alleyways and backways, which attract and distract. But Christ came to set us back on track. And we don't need to go back 2000 years to Calvary where Jesus hung on the cross. The job was already finished there. We have a perfectly beautiful hope-filled destiny here, now and forever, one that has been prepared, was made available and is meant for all who would believe there is a heavenly Father, who's waiting for all to come home to feast at His table as His family in a new tomorrow.

 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  (Jeremiah 29:11) 

" And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him. Yet He is actually not far from each one of us..." (Acts 17:26-27)

    

Fruit that Lasts

I hear there's a bumper-crop harvest of durians these days.  I like durians, though I don't go crazy over them. So you won't find me Q-ing just to get hold of the cheapest deal in town for Musang King, Black Thorn, Red Prawn, D24 or Blue whatever...not that I know the difference anyway; I am quite happy and easily satisfied with the kampung variety.  

The other day I saw a very nice shot of a  handsome, shirtless hunk with fabulous six pack abs selling durian posted on social media. Apparently a couple of young college students had opened up their own durian stall aptly named Muscle Durian. So whoever buys from them can get free gawks at both durians and muscle, like getting free smells from Amos Cookies or Rotiboy.  And then of coz there was this famous cosmetic entrepreneur selling his home-grown durians, some at only RM5 per kilo, to quote him "for fun and charity." Apparently  over 1000 kg of durians were sold per day at his temporary 'pop-up' durian stall. 

I know durian-lovers are happy but I think farmers must be the happiest people when they see whatever seed they plant bloom to harvest. Be it fruit, vegetables, or grain.  I am no farmer, nor do I have much of a green-thumb. But I derive much  satisfaction watching the kangkong, spinach and leafy stuff (which I don't even know the names of ) growing  in my back garden. Though  I despair of the relentless repeated attack of insects, snails, squirrels and whatever else that keep 

destroying the plants.  I scold my cat for always chewing on the papaya shoot that's died and resurrected and is now dying again. Yet somehow there's sufficient yield of greens to feed me and family at least 1 dish once a week.  It's not much, but hey, it's home-grown. 

Every morning in my quiet-time as I sit looking out to my front garden, I am happy to see at least some flowers blooming even as the birds and butterflies visit awhile. They all grow despite my bungling attempts at amateur horticulture. For I confess I am just too lazy to keep up the endless rounds of watering, weeding, pruning, and spraying that's required maintenance work for a "proper" garden.  And I absolutely hate the insects; somehow the long pants and gloves I don are no protection to their bites. 

 Every day I look to the  skies, hoping for rain so I don't have to lug out the watering-cans.  Yet despite all my (non) efforts, my little garden-plots do bloom. The orchid that was part of  my second daughter's wedding gifts is still flowering after more than 3 months, even  though I just left it in a corner. The hibiscus is thriving, shooting up high, though its flowers only last a day. Even the plant that's like at least 15 years old  that has never bloomed is now bearing flowers.       
                                                                                                                                                      

Truly as the bible puts it in 1 Corinthians 3:7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.  Obviously it's not just plants God's talking about. I am so blessed to see the fruit of the seeds I planted years ago in people's lives. Not that I actually have anything to do with it growing. The point hit home when the other day a young man called out to me as I was sweating it out in my front garden. He had accepted Christ in my sitting-room couch a long time ago as a teenager growing up. At that time I had my doubts as to whether he really really believed or it was out of force of circumstances then. He drifted out of my life soon after that. I heard he went through a difficult period, struggling with drug-addiction and family issues.

Now more than 20 years later, as we sat in the same sitting-room once again, I saw a totally different person. Then he was a bit on the chubby side. Now he is lean, and very fit-looking. Apparently he was training for a marathon. But it was more than a physical thing; his eyes were glowing. And when he spoke, it was with joy and a quiet confidence.  When he said thank you, aunty, I teared up - the prodigal had come home to his Abba Father in heaven. 

I remembered his mom. Way back then, I had visited her with moon-cakes in hand and shared Christ with her. She had (politely) shown me the door , stating she wasn't interested in my God. I can't remember exactly when, but it was quite some time, much much later,  that I bumped into her by the road-side. She excitedly told me she had become a Christian and was going to church, and would I please pray with her for her family. I have been praying everyday for this family since then. 

As I listened to the son now sharing how God had powerfully worked in his life, through all his ups and downs, in the bleak seasons of his life, I knew his mother would have cried many many tears for him. Speaking from personal experience,  that's what all Christian moms and dads do when we see our children wander off here, there and everywhere. Tears and prayers are the only things we can offer up to our Father God, as we trust in the His faithfulness and power to do what we cannot do - make buried seeds that seem dead grow and fruit. 

The best part was hearing this "new" man talk about serving full-time in his church drug rehab centre. Truly this is the kind of healing and transformation that only God can do in a life that used to be so broken and messed-up. (If we are honest with ourselves, aren't all human beings broken and messed-up in some way or another?? Isn't that the reason why the world is in such bad shape??)..  I felt so so blessed to be able to pray for his onward journey with Christ. He gave me star-fruits from a relative's orchard, apologizing that though they looked over-ripe and not so nice, but  actually they were very sweet. Which as it turned out, were indeed very sweet.

That's so like human lives. The tiny seed of God's love that I was given the opportunity to plant into these 2 hearts took such a long time to bear fruit. It had started out looking so hopeless. I never had the chance to tend/follow them up. I could only pray and pray and pray. And God answered; He is indeed the good (and great) gardener, and the fruit He brings forth is always sweet, no matter how bad it looks. So as it should be, to God be the glory. 

Jesus said, "You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit...." - John 15:16 

Choices & Consequences

 Now I know what's the meaning of the (slang)word "boh"..no, it's not about boh  tea. To know the meaning, you gotta go catch our very own 100% made-in-msia 

movie Polis Evo 3 (PE 3).  I guarantee you will find it a very well-spent 2 hours watch. Especially if like me,  you qualify for  senior citizen discount ticket and can get to sit in the best seats in an almost empty cinema hall on a weekday.

The last Malay movie which I also enjoyed very much was  Ola Bola. But PE 3 is literally a different ball-game altogether. Hats off to our wonderfully talented Msian team who wrote, produced, directed, acted and brought to life this larger than life story of our men in blue. I anticipate and await more of such high-calibre made-in-Msia action films in our national tongue. 

PE 3 gives us a glimpse of the world of good cops, funny cops, bad guys and bad cops.  Well, what do you expect... it is a show about cops! Most of the time, for most of us ordinary mortals anyway,  the only face encounters we have with the police force is not very pleasant. It's usually when the guy in uniform is writing out a summons for us dashing a red light, or we get caught driving with an expired road tax or license. Sometimes it can be the guy/lady  seated behind the desk in a police station, when we have to lodge a report of some unpleasant incident, usually a road accident or worse a fight,  robbery, break-in or other serious crime. We have little or  absolutely zero knowledge of the inner workings or active operations of our police personnel. Our  impressions come from...(what else!)  movies of cops-n-robbers, the good guys versus the bad guys, as glamourised ala James Bond style.

Well, PE 3 is indeed comparable to Bond, minus the fancy gadgets, which makes it all the more realistic and therefore more relatable for me. The action is really top class. I cringed at each blow, each kick, each throw, magnified by appropriate sensurround  music no less .  I bit  my nails as heroes and villains took pot-shots at each other in ambushes. I gasped at the spectacular car chases and crashes. I held my breath, wondering if bombs will explode or whether the expert really knows which wire to cut.  Heck, there's even a cross border smuggling heist for an international flavor.  Top it all with handsome Msian hunks in uniform - what's there not to like! Such a welcome change from the "normal" blond hair, blue-eyed heroes, imported from Hollywood. 

But the real stealer that tugged at my heart was the very human angle of tough guys facing conflict in choosing the "right" thing to do in the face of enormous pressures. Who is to say saving 300 (unknown) lives is more honorable than saving a loved one whose life is held in the hands of a mad man? Is betraying a partner, or a best friend for the sake of country excusable? Does an oath of duty over-ride love? These are by no means easy questions, and choices made, one way or the other, come with far-reaching consequences. Plenty of what-if's to consider, and regrets of what could have been.  

So one can sympathize even with the villain, who was really a good guy caught in a very bad situation. It could happen to anyone, really. How to blame a man for  choosing to save a pregnant wife instead of protecting his country? It reminds me of a question which was posed in a discussion about faith: If a terrorist points a gun at my family member and orders me to renounce Christ or else he shoots my loved one, what would my answer be? Honestly, it's well and easy if he points the gun at my head - I would have no hesitation to answer Go ahead, shoot. I don't fear death for myself, since I know where next I go when I leave this world, thanks to my Savior and Lord Jesus. But if the gun is pointed at any one of my children....would I still be able to answer so easily?  As a fellow Christian admitted, he would give up his faith if it was his wife being threatened with death. His response would be "sorry Lord, You know my heart."

Who is to say we will not fail God? Or country, friend or family for that matter. We think we "get over it" but the truth is some  things we have done or not done in our past, decisions and choices we make in life do come back to haunt us and keep us bound in fear, bitterness and hate. The heroes in PE 3 are tough as nails - they are cops, they have to be. But they are also very human. So the whole sad scenario replays in the protagonist Khai's life as his ex-partner, gone crazy and out for revenge, sets things up to force him to choose between love and duty. Not only he, but those around him, must deal with the horrific consequences of past choices made.  

How many of our men in blue have paid heavy prices to protect this nation, so we ordinary folks can sleep in peace (most days)? Some pay the highest price of being killed in the line of duty, as heroes whose stories pass away from society's memories after awhile. Beyond that, many have to put family relationships on hold to honor the oath of duty. Like Khai who keeps the lady-love of his life (and the entire family) waiting, waiting, waiting for him to pop the question of marriage. It's not from lack of love, but out of fear of the past; that he will not be able to protect her, when the call of duty messes up his personal life; as he knows it's bound to happen sooner or later. PE3 paints a very poignant picture of the struggles of these ordinary people caught up in the roller-coaster drama of life, which they got on when they signed up to be protector of the nation's peace and security. There's really no glamour in it, unless you count well-honed bodies and smart uniforms glamorous. Whether one is in the front-line firing off guns at villains or in the back-room, tediously fiddling with hand-phones and computers to crack codes to track down a murderer on the loose. Or the one who literally sweats to cut the correct wire in a last-minute effort to deactivate ticking bombs. 

Yet how long can we can go on fearing... sickness, lack or loss of this, that or the other, and the finality  of death in our lives on earth? In the end it's still love that wins over fear. After all, there's only 1 Creator, Giver and Protector of all life. So if He deems it's time for me to leave this life on earth, there's nothing that anyone can do to extend it. For those who are already secure in the knowledge that death is but life forevermore when we believe in Jesus who died and rose again, there is no fear anymore.  But if it's not yet time, there's also no power - be it disease or terrorists - that can steal my life out of God's mighty hands. Yes, there will be heartaches, betrayal, disappointment along the way.  Because the truth is God never promised anyone who believes Him a rose-garden. Heck, even roses come with thorns. 

But ultimately, good must win over evil, love must triumph over fear, in the movies and in the real world. It may take a (long) while and involve huge sacrifices, but the bad guy always loses ultimately because... well, that's the way it should be and must be; as God created all things to be good. And the greatest  sacrifice was already paid for by Jesus for all mankind - Love hung on a cross.  

I John 4:18-19 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear....We love because He first loved us.

LEARNING FROM CATS

The wind outside was playing blow-me-down games with the plants in my garden. But it was hot air that wafted into my living room through the open glass doors.

Our old fat cat Maffin was snoozing in his fave place in his own basket. That's just one of his many indoor fave spots, which range from the sofa, the arm-chair, the dining table, the food-cover, the top of the cupboard and the laundry basket as long as it's filled with clothes (clean or dirty doesn't matter.)  But these days even he is feeling the heat. So after a while he lifts himself out and plops         

  onto  the marble floor, falling asleep again within seconds. I am always amazed how easily and fast cats go into dreamland.

Even Pretzel (the sometimes prodigal) is the same. Pretzel is making more trips back to home base these days. Maybe he's getting tired of the other hooman (whoever it is) who feeds  him outside. Nowadays he will even stay the whole nite sometimes when he waltzes into the house for dinner, and waltzes out come morning. Fickle, that's what he is.
                      
It's a long weekend. The kids are away. My one and only son has gone off outstation with his frens whilst my no 2 is at her in-law's place, spending time with her husband who has just returned from overseas. I now understand what my neighbor across the road means when she says the house is so big and empty. She's a widow with a live-in maid; just 2 of them in a huge double-storey corner-lot house with a big garden. I always tell her she isn't alone really, coz there are angels all around her. Now I tell myself the same thing. 

Well, actually I am not quite all alone, since Maffin is around most of the time. Not that he does much apart from eating, sleeping and sleeping, eating. He meows his commands to me to feed him predictably in the morning, noon and evening. When he wants to go out after dinner, he will plonk himself by my chair. He knows very well he can squeeze out the house-gate but he refuses to. If I ignore him, he scratches the chair. Most times I oblige His Laziness, but I draw the line when he wants to come back in. It's a sort of power-game with us. So I don't bother as he sits outside waiting. After awhile he gets it that I am not going to open the gate for him, and clumsily squeezes himself through anyway. Every now and then when he's in the mood to be petted, he tries to jump onto my lap. Most times I don't indulge his antics, coz he's heavy.  But it's nice to stroke him as he dozes. He would stretch and grunt his meows, though still very much in cat-dreamland.  

Today I join Maffin on the floor. Yes, I know my mother said it's not good to lie on cold hard marble, because can get "fong sup"- the "wind" enters the body and will cause aches and pains. Well, what else is new? Old bones will get achy anyway, with or without the "fong" from the floor tiles. And it's hot, hot, hot these days.  Even for the cats. 

Yet when I observe Maffin, he's pretty cool about the heat. He just ups and moves to a more comfy spot and continues his sleep.  He carries on confident that there's always some place in this house for him to rest, where there's always someone to  feed him food and water, when he needs it. Where he is much loved, even though he doesn't do anything particularly "useful" around the house; on the contrary in fact he gets his fur (worse -fleas) all over the place.

Come to think of it, so many problems can get us all hot and bothered about life.  It takes snoozing cats to remind me actually I can choose not to stress, since I already know the God who created all things can very well take care of all things. And if He hasn't, it doesn't mean He can't. It just means He's got His ways and His time to do His (good and perfect) will.  Whatever happens or doesn't happen in my life, in this whole wide world,  I can rest secure and safe in a love that abides, no matter how "useless" or "dirty" I may be. Even Pretzel (who, to me, is just plain ungrateful) takes for granted and knows our doors are always open to him, whenever he comes back from his gallivanting all over the neighborhood.  Just so is the unmatchable love of a God who willingly opens His arms wide to every returning prodigal son or daughter anytime, every time. 

It tickles me that Maffin isn't bothered by my ignoring him sometimes. He doesn't take offense.  Unlike humans who are so easily offended not only by other humans, but by God, becoz we think He ignores us or we don't like what He does or doesn't do. We even deny His existence. Thank God He is ever patient and long-suffering with humankind. He doesn't give us what we deserve for all our sin and sinning. Repeatedly in the  Bible, we are told "His faithful love (mercy) endures forever."  So great is this love that He has done everything necessary to reconcile, release, redeem and restore us into right relationship with our Maker and with each other, through Christ Jesus. On the cross of Calvary, the work was finished. 

Methinks I should be more like the cats...and sleep easy. Hot or cold, rain or shine; becoz like the old hymn goes, whatever my lot, God has taught me to say it is well with my soul.  

A NEW WORLD

What a blast of a movie. I so enjoyed the closing chapter of Guardians of the Galaxy (GOTG 3). I laughed, I cried, I ooh-ed and ahh-ed away 2 1/2 hours of a week-day morning in an almost empty cinema on  a senior citizen discount ticket. There was a very handsome hero, a very evil bad-guy, lots of fast and furious action, plenty of weird (and lovable) characters. Right from the word "go" I was literally sucked into a fantasy world that's way-out boggling, with talking animals, walking trees, humanoid aliens with blue and green skin and all sorts of strange creatures.  And yet for all its hi-tech "sci-fi- ness," the over-arching themes are so humanly real. 

After all, who has never been disappointed in man or  in God? Who has never dreamt of a perfect world, a happy family ? Who has never suffered? Who has never questioned the very meaning of existence itself? GOTG 3 uses a life-threatening crisis to bring all these to the fore, as the motley team races to save a dying Rocket Raccoon , who keeps reminding everyone he isn't just a racoon. Which is true, since he's the most perfect handiwork of a mad-man who experiments with animals, humans, even children, to create the perfect society. But the "earth" he builds to counter the real earth is still an abject failure. He calls himself the High Evolutionary, claiming there is no God, so he steps in to play the role. That's still happening in our time; so temptingly easy for man to make himself god.  Reminds me also of the angel in heaven who rebelled and wanted to make himself like the Most High, whose name is Lucifer, or more commonly known as Satan, the devil. 

And talking about names, the most touching scene for me was 4 locked-up animals thinking up real names for themselves, instead of being identified as  random meaningless numbers. Like Rocket raccoon was simply 89Q13 before he escaped the literal hell of his early days in the clutches of an evil master who subjects him to horrible experiments for so-called good. Thank God humans are not just numbers to Him. We are His beloved, the crown of His creation. We are identified by proper names and He knows those who are His; even the very hairs on our heads are numbered. 

It's so heart-wrenching when the anthropomorphic otter who names herself Lylla softly says "It's good to have friends" and dreams of flying away together into a "forever beautiful sky."  Such a stark contrast to the reality of their surroundings - a prison cell, a world  where they have been subjected to much pain and suffering, their bodies mutated beyond repair. She expects their  master to take them to a new world where everything will be fine. Instead they are all murdered brutally within moments, except for the raccoon, who escapes to live in guilt that he is the cause of his friends' deaths and regrets what could have been.

Isn't it the innate longing of  every human heart to escape to "that" place where everything is beautiful and all good, where we can enjoy the fellowship of loved ones?  Gathering together with his odd-ball team, the hero Quill puts it so well, " I look around; I see...family." Isn't that what love is all about?... As it was always meant to be by a good God who created humans to be "family" with Him and with each other. What's more, there is indeed a "forever" place of beauty and rest for those who choose to believe, trust and hope in Jesus, as the only true living and good God, even when everything in the world as we know it looks and feels terribly bad. 

For even in the midst of all the bad, there is redemption.  When Adam Warlock who's on the enemy side asks why Groot the talking tree would spare his life when he hurt it, he is told simply, "Everyone deserves a second chance." I thank God He gives not just a second chance, but many chances for sinful man to repent and be saved. Even as those who have known the grace and mercy of a compassionate God are called not to repay evil with evil, or insult with insult, but with blessing, to love our enemies, and do good, because God  Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. To the extent of sending His beloved Son to die on the cross for such as these (which includes me.)

It takes a hybrid alien to pose a most poignant question as she is told by Quill (her half-brother) that humans only live up to 50... "what's the point of even being born?" Likewise when Rocket raccoon was taken up to meet his departed friends in that forever place, and Lylla told him he couldn't join them just yet, much as he wanted to, because he still had a purpose to accomplish. He cries out in frustration..." A purpose for what? They made us for nothing! Just stupid experiments to be thrown away!" 

That must be the ultimate tragedy -  to be alive, yet not knowing or missing our purpose in living. We are not stupid experiments to be discarded as rubbish  after our "usefulness" is up. We are not born to just die one day and get eaten up by worms.  We are born for more than just getting by with good grades, good jobs, good money, good health. My God tells me, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  No matter  how winding the road of life, no matter that I don't understand many things, no matter what I can't do. This one thing I know - I have a God-given destiny (way better than anything I can think up myself) that makes my life full and worthwhile. And after my years on earth are up, there is waiting for me a wonderful new world that's really truly all perfect, that is without end.  Not the making of any man's proud ambition, but of a Creator-God who has pulled me out of darkness into His light of life. 

Just like how GOTG 3 ends so well; with each character finally finding and entering his/her own destiny in the grand scheme of things. Our world will never be perfect, but unlike the villain, we don't have to  be consumed by hate because we don't like the way things or people are.  Instead we can choose to fight the good fight in and of faith, to love as we are first loved by God, our Maker,  who will restore all things to perfection one day in a brand new world. 

"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth.... And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away....And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new...." - Revelation 21:1,4,5 

A birth-day to celebrate

I don't celebrate birthdays, so says my all-wise very adult son. Well, I retorted it's not your birthday today. I have learnt to appreciate birthdays. I think it's a getting-older-syndrome, recognizing that everyday I wake up still breathing, alive and well,  is a miracle really.  Especially when every so often we get jolted by news of death, whether it be of individuals we know and/or love, or strangers we don't know,  from whatever cause.  That's the reality of life on earth. 

But life does go on, so do celebrations. Yesterday I attended the wedding of a church member. As I got out from my car, another couple had parked in the spot just in front of me. They recognized me from church, though I am ashamed to say I don't remember their names. As we walked together towards the lift, my right shoe broke apart literally; the sides all "opened mouth."  Actually it's not the first time this has happened to me, which probably means my formal-wear shoes are a tad old. Normally I just get hold of a rubber band from somewhere or someone to tie it up somehow and keep walking. But this was a deserted car-park. No rubber bands anywhere, not even a security guard in sight. And I am going to a wedding. Now for a woman, (even if it's an old woman) that's a disaster.

The couple was most commiserate. The young lady mentioned she always kept spare shoes of every kind in the car just in case. The husband nodded, yes, she even keeps spare clothes in there. I am like.... wow, now why didn't I ever think of that in all my adult years ?!  Anyway, straight off, without me asking, she said she would get me a pair and hopefully it will fit. Though she was a bit concerned if I could handle 2 inch high wedge-heels. Of course the "new" shoes fitted me perfectly, though I had to be a bit more careful (read lady-like) in walking. What's more this angel went the full way of generosity - she said  I can keep the shoes for myself. 

I am so thankful God has indeed already prepared angels to meet our every need, even before it happens. And when God provides, man, He provides abundantly. I am sure it's no coincidence I ended up sitting at the same table with the couple from the car-park.  I thanked my angel once again and remarked how pretty the pastel-colored shoes were. Most astutely, she commented, "Aunty, your shoes must be all black, and all flat kan." Come to think of, she's right, how boring; that's the practical me. As all women would know, black shoes go with practically anything and everything. And flat shoes are so easy to walk in. 

Back home,  I dumped my "koyak" shoes into the bin. As I stare at my first pair of pastel-coloured high-heeled wedges, I am sensing....it's time to be refitted for new, different, bigger, higher and yes, more colorful things. The most romantic book in the Bible, Song of Songs 7:1 actually has the lover telling his beloved, "How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter..."  Ok, I get it; it's time I start walking out with new, stronger shoes.....of faith, hope and love. Old worn-out shoes of yester-years won't hold me up anymore.  

This year is indeed special for me. I turn the ripe (not old) age of 63. As I was pondering the number, it struck me 6+3 = 9.  Biblically the number 9 represents divine completeness/finality. Jesus died on the cross at the 9th hour, with His last utterance, "It is finished."  Personally for me, 9 represents birthing, as in a  woman who finally delivers the baby she carries for 9 months in the womb. And indeed, I have felt as if I am carrying so many things in me for so long. I felt my spirit stirred to call forth their birthing on this day, there be no more delay, no aborting, no still-birth, for according to God's Word, indeed it is finished - the good work He started in me, not when I believed at age 40, but from the very beginning, when He had already had me on His mind even as He formed me in my mother's womb. 

So it's very good I have a birth-day to celebrate ....

"How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.” - Isaiah 52:7

Updated 7/5: The children presented me a very useful Bible, which comes with pages for journaling and verse-mapping. The very first time I flipped it open, the page displayed  Luke 1:45: Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfil His promises to her.... Now surely that's a personal prophetic word for me... so I say I believe, Amen and Thank You, Lord. 

IT IS DONE

I didn't expect I would cry. I didn't expect the bride would cry. But there we were, mother and daughter no.2, crying. Not excessive, but the tears were slipping quietly down. 

The signing ceremony was simple straight-forward and short. It was held in the church sanctuary with just immediate family of both parties. How small the world is; the groom's mom and I were called to the Bar on the same day many years ago. And now we were meeting again, this time as in-laws. I sat opposite the groom's father as we witnessed his son and my daughter sign on the dotted line. No one bothered to read the standard print on the pages. We just checked our names and ICs. The bride and groom put rings on each other's fingers and  that was it - marriage registered in the eyes of God and man.  Everything had gone so well. There was no lack...all was provided - the premises, the Pastor, even down to the professional photographer who happened to be a relative. So 3/3/23 would forever be filed into our memories  as a very good day, culminating in a sit-down dinner at night in a Chinese restaurant. 

About a week earlier, the groom's family had brought over a whole roasted pig and 2 gift-baskets in a simplified "Guo Dai Lai," the traditional Chinese betrothal ceremony. Being the "white banana" Chinese that I am, I had absolutely no idea what it was all about when my daughter first told me they would be coming over to the house. I was just to prepare lunch with certain dishes. Google and my eldest sister gave me further info and advice what to take and what to give back as the obligatory "wui lai" (return gift).

But it was Holy Spirit who gave me inspiration on what extra items to pack, even leading me to the right shop which had (almost) everything I was looking for. The shop owner was so nice; explaining to me the different types of honey, olive oil and dates imported from Yemen, his native country. All I had to add to those were  grapes and milk, arrange everything in a nice basket, dress it up with some pretty ribbons, and viola. Being Christian, the in-laws immediately caught the symbolic meaning  - the biblical promises of abundance, fertility,  sweetness and longevity. The mom even jokingly asked, what about figs? That was the 1 item I couldn't find. 

I have never seen a whole roasted pig chopped up before. Now I know why it had to be done by an expert. The man had come early but refused to step into my house; he said he had to wait for the groom's family...another of those Chinese rituals. As it turned out, they also thought he would just drop by, cut up the pig and go off. But no, he waited for them to arrive...outside in his car. Chopping up a whole pig was certainly not an easy task. It took him close to an hour, and obviously he knew what he was doing. He came equipped with lots of plastic plates and even a portable stand-fan for himself. Now I know why it had to be done outside on my porch. There was oil spewing forth with each swing of his very sharp chopper-knife, and he was sweating by the time he finished the job. 

A week later, as I look at the bridal couple, I am shedding happy tears. For me, it is done, finally. Years of praying specifically for this middle child I call "sweet-heart" because she's close to my heart, and everybody always says she's very sweet. It seems just like yesterday when she left for America and stayed for some 6 months . And now she's married. I am looking forward to the big "do" of exchange of vows, tea ceremony and the grand dinner scheduled for year-end. I don't know about her, but I am sure I will cry again as I walk her up the aisle then. 

But it's tears of joy, that spring out of a grateful heart for a God who hears the prayers of His people. I like to think He hears especially a widow's prayers for  her fatherless children, since  widows are recognized as a distinct group deserving utmost compassion in the Bible. Indeed He is ever my faithful God and good Father.  Now as 1 get promoted to MIL (mother-in-law) and the wedded couple enter  into their  new position and identity as  husband and wife, I can only say Thank You Lord, for bringing it to pass. And I know, with this 1 daughter, a chain reaction has started .....So shall it be done for my other 2 remaining children, in the fullness of His perfectly good time and ways. 

 "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6