Just a little bit off

I was most embarrassed. This was my 2nd visit to the kiosk after purchasing the modem and having made many calls to their customer service centre, finally being advised to bring back the item for examination. The young man manning the counter didn't say much as I explained how I had tried everything they told me over the phone to connect the wires, re-configure settings and all that technical jazz which made little sense to an old aunty like me. I expressed my frustration that I still couldn't find my wi-fi name on the network and although the PC displayed the message that connections were available, I still had no Internet access. Young man turned the device over, opened up the back and drawled, "The SIM card is inserted wrong - opposite end." "Oh o.... But how come it says got connection.." Old aunty blubbered. Young man shrugged nonchalantly, "it can work a little but not fully. That's why got problem." And with that, he carefully withdrew the SIM card with a small instrument and put it back the other way. "Now check your phone, can see your wi-fi name?" There it was...talk about duh....

Which reminds me of another incident with the SIM card in my hand-phone. (I seriously think SIM cards and I have an aversion to each other.) I was going for an overseas trip and a kind friend who had just come back passed me the foreign country's SIM card. I thought it would be a piece of cake putting it into my phone. Instead I spent an hour fiddling with 2 SIM cards and trying to get them either in or out of the card slots in my phone. The result was a lot of sweat and a "wonky" phone which  sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. I took it to one of those ubiquitous kiosks again, manned by a young man. How come these places always seem to be manned by young (smart aleck) men? He yawned as I explained what I had done, and never even bothered to so much as look at my phone. He merely said, "SIM card slot spoil already. $100 to repair per slot (there were 2 slots in my phone), and it takes at least 4 days. Better buy new phone."

Of course I had neither the time nor the money at that point. So I took a wonky phone overseas and ended up having to bear international roaming charges even though the setting was definitely off.  Man, that was one expensive lesson to learn to be gentle with tiny, fragile slots and not simply force, poke, pull or push SIM cards through.

So what's my point, besides grouching about SIM cards? Well, it struck me that actually even though I got it all wrong, the devices still worked...somewhat. Isn't that just like life. We can get it all wrong, barking up the wrong trees, and we can still live a pretty good life. On the surface at least, everything still seems to function alright. We wake up every morning, put on our brave faces and march out to conquer the world, or at least just get by day after day, through the traffic jams, the headaches in the office, the heart-aches no one sees.

Actually we can succeed pretty well at life, which is dangerous, because we don't even know anything is wrong in the first place. We can go on drifting along, quite content with what we are
accustomed to, day in, day out and not realize that there's really something missing. As we climb the world's ladders , sometimes we may fall. Some will just pick themselves up by their own shoe-strings and keep moving on. Some never quite get up again. Some get to the top and suddenly discover the view from there isn't that great after all. So they set their sights on another ladder and start the climb all over again. And we pat ourselves on the back for a job well-done, because we did it all our way.

I used to be like that. I got along fine for some 40 years of my life. Been there, done that. Never entertained any thought that I could be missing anything. How could I be missing anything when I had everything (at least I thought I had everything then) - loving husband, cute kids, 2 houses, 2 cars, good job (read high salary)? I was more than content with my life back then, who wouldn't be. It took a literal  life-n-death crisis to shake me upside down inside out.

And I was never the same again. That doesn't mean it was easy. God never promised us a rose garden; indeed beautiful roses come
with prickly thorns. After all, no one could have imagined how a crown of thorns and 3 nails driven through a man named Jesus hung on a cross would be the fullest proof of a Love so beautiful it could save anyone who believes.  One would have thought logically it should get easier - the older one gets, the wiser one should become. At least that's how it's supposed to be. But the Christian life isn't like that. On this road, I still trip up myself and others.

My flesh would have me be content with an uncomplicated life, where I can just go to church every Sunday, enjoy the worship, teaching and fellowshipping with people just like me.  I would be doing all the right things according to the book. Yet I wouldn't be any the wiser because according to God's standards, I would be all wrong.  Like a wonky SIM card or hand-phone, which is just "a little bit off", I  could still 'work', but I wouldn't be doing what I am capable of - I wouldn't be charging full steam ahead, entering into my destiny with the God of all eternity, the God who has saved me for His (not my) good purpose.

The worst thing is I wouldn't even realize my lack.  How many people go through life, totally unaware of what they are missing, because they think their minimum is maximum already. How many are not willing to go all the way or even any way with God, because they think they know best. How many turn their backs on God because they went through bad experiences with 'religion' or religious people. No wonder Jesus wept that the people then didn't recognize the 'time of their visitation', when God came down from heaven and most of them missed its significance, because He didn't meet human expectations.

So it is now as then, we still wander along the road of life, seemingly doing very well, not knowing or caring that all is actually not well with our souls.  We can get by with defective things, but we have only 1 life to live on this earth, and to live it 'just a little bit off' is a tragedy indeed, because it's the "little bit" called God we miss that makes all the difference.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." - John 10:10