Why Are You Here?

That was the provocative question an old jaded "has-been" Jedi warrior asked of the fresh-faced  woman who harbored dreams of a grand show-down fighting beside everyone's favorite larger-than-life legendary hero of the universe. But the hero turned out to be disappointingly human instead, wallowing in a gigantic pit of depression, self-pity, guilt and plain war-weariness. Guess it happens to the best of us.

But at least the old man was still sharp enough to ask the right question. WHY ARE YOU HERE?  Not just once, but three times if I remember correctly. Each time the young heroine Rey - who has tracked down Luke Skywalker to an island where he is moodily waiting to die - answered with the standard stuff regarding her mission to bring him back because he is their last hope of defeating the bad guys who have them cornered. That is until the last repeat makes her pause and realise that's only half the truth. She is forced to search deeper and as she admits there's something stirring in her heart, facing him, finally she faces herself in the answer "I need someone to show me my place in all of this."

That question is sure to poke  us one day or even many days as we live out our earthly existence. Sure, some of us won't want or care to be bothered about such "useless philosophy." For others, the question has been buried under the mountain of a life filled with too many other "more important" stuff.  Some are content to do good, be healthy, spend time with family and loved ones. That's a start, but personally I grade that as the barest minimum, just scratching the surface of life. Some have grandiose ambitions of making the world a better place, saving the whales, eradicating corruption. That's great. So after all "that", whatever that is, WHY are you here, really?

Many things I like about The Last Jedi in Star Wars 8. Although I do miss my favourite Han Solo (who got killed off in the previous sequel) and the new villain Kylo Ren doesn't appeal to me, coming across as just a spoilt young punk full of angst and unresolved conflicts. Give me Darth Vader literally breathing out evil from his trade-mark mask anytime. Well, at least the angry young man did the right thing in getting rid of the mask - he can't do it justice. Anyway The Last Jedi loads up enough action, fun, pathos and cutesy critters to give viewers a good run for their money.

Of course the theme hasn't changed - there's the never-ending fight between good and evil forces, the ultimate triumph of a small band of brave souls over their much bigger, more powerful enemies who always seem to be gaining the upper hand till the last minute. There were many nail-biting moments, 'awww' moments but for me, the 'ting' moment wasn't some fierce fighting scene or even anything involving the main protagonists. Rather it was a seemingly inconsequential remark  spoken by the new lady Commander Amilyn Holdo "When I served under Leia, she would say, hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it.." her line was completed by the impulsive ambitious upstart captain Poe , "you'll never make it through the night." Now that's profound.

How true it is - If  we can only believe something when we can 'see' it, we will never 'get it'.  The wise old lady spoke this when the circumstances around them didn't look hopeful at all. Take this another step to the ultimate truth - if we can only believe in God when we 'see' Him, we will never believe. That's why Apostle Paul tells believers to "live by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7). And the Bible even defines clearly, "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." (Hebrews 11: 1) ie  I can't see, but I will still believe.. God exists, against everything that  tells me otherwise. Even if everything in the world looks bad, is bad, and I can't see any good, I will still believe....God is good. It's very easy to believe something we can see - that takes zero effort, it's a no-brainer - but to believe in something we can't see, now that really is the ultimate test of whether we choose to be really free, to dare let go of our own pre-conceived ideas, so sorely limited by our physical senses.

The heroine in Star Wars couldn't deny the stirring in her heart when confronted, much as it had been hidden, forgotten, buried by the 'seen' things in her life - the noble cause of persuading a reluctant hero to return and save their world. As much as that was important, the 'real' mission was to know her position. Evil Supreme Leader Snoke understood that and articulated it to his protege, "Fulfil your destiny." Words meant to stir up fire in the belly, so that we trust not in externals, but in something beyond, bigger than ourselves in the grand scheme called life.

Sure, we can define and shape our own destiny, according to our own whims and fancies; our ideas may even be very good.  But what Rey had inside her wasn't created by her; she was  called... obviously to be the next Jedi, to preserve the seed for the generations to come. And it was an awesome destiny for as the enemy recognized ... as long as the seed lives, hope exists. Hope for ultimate victory, hope for a better tomorrow, no matter what yesterday brought in, no matter what today looks like.  She, who came from nowhere, born from parents who were nobodies, was meant for things which she couldn't ever have imagined in the first place.

And that's how it is, if we allow God to design our destiny, He comes up with something that literally blows the human mind, captures the heart with a passion that moves the body to act  - we cannot not respond to the divine call because to reject it would mean accepting less than what we are meant to be. And that would be tragic, because we would have missed the greatest adventure of our life - to be all that we are created, fearfully and wonderfully, to be.

I bumped into an 'old kaki' the other day at the street alley where we hold our weekly feeding programme. I couldn't recognize her actually; she had exchanged her long tresses for short, sassy curls. She 'disappeared' from the scene for about 2 years and I have to confess I had forgotten her name. But she recognized me and came up to greet me. Her baritone voice belied her external femininity. She is one of those very few transgenders whom  I have been able to talk to. She looked well, but when I asked how she was doing, she pointed to her heart and said, "Aunty, something is missing, I don't know what it is.." So I asked the multi-million dollar question , "Why are you here?"

It was weird, I playing out the movie script in real life, and she responding exactly like Rey with the 'standard reply' - "Food lah, aunty..." So I asked again. This time, she shrugged and was silent. I talked about the hole in every human heart that can only be (ful)filled by our Creator; how after awhile, we will have to conclude all other things that we try putting in will never quite fit. I talked about a beautiful destiny for her that's designed by a divine Hand, who has our best interests in His heart, simply because He loves us. She asked me to stop because she was going to cry. I tell her tears are good, when it washes away all the 'seen' stuff that's been clogging us up and causes us to admit something's missing, something's wrong with our lives. That's the moment when, if we would, we can 'tune'  into the unseen realm where faith works hope, and perfect love conquers all fear. The Bible calls it "godly sorrow which brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret  (unlike) worldly sorrow that brings death." (2 Corinthians 7:10)

There's a touching scene in the movie where a black pilot cradles his wounded Asian partner-in-arms who had put herself in mortal danger to stop him from crashing his plane in a do-or-die moment. He asks her what she is doing, and she answers, "I saved you, dummy. That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, but saving what we love." Sometimes we humans can be so dumb.

I know why I am here - to fulfill my destiny, already laid out for me by One who loves me, who was before the foundation of the world, even before I was knitted in my mother's womb. It has to be a good one, because Jesus died so that I could live to accomplish it. And He rose from the dead to give me a hope that when I follow Him, it will indeed come to pass, no matter what.

“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived — the things God has prepared for those who love him.. " 1 Corinthians 2:9