One Long Battle

Will you have peace, or war?... When faced with death, what can anyone do?... We have only one question to answer: How shall this day end? ...

3 profound questions to ponder beyond The Hobbit's Battle of the 5 armies, finale in the series. If you are into movies just for the sake of movies, it can be quite a disappointment since reduced to its barest, Battle is just what its title suggests -  nothing but shots of war and more war, albeit quite spectacular ones. (At least it's got more than a fair share of handsome hunks to admire). Yet it is those deep questions posted by the various characters that redeemed the movie for me beyond the hyped-up action. That plus the most poignant accusation shot at a king by a banished female wood-elf “You have no love in your heart!”

Piece them altogether, and going beyond a 'mere' movie,  it seems to reflect the picture of the very fragile earth we live in where there are in fact many people who would choose war, not peace. News splash of horrible violence unleashed by man against man, worse still on children and women. It's not just the 'obviously bad' stuff like murder, kidnap and bombings; how about rampant tentacles of corruption, oppression and suppression of justice? What happened to equality, respect  and all those noble ideals which should be the right and inheritance of every human being, present and future generations included? How about the prejudices, attitudes, misconception, cultivated perception we harbor deep in our hearts against others which no one knows, which we ourselves don't realize? And don't even get started on the 'petty' things like just being decent to one another in our daily living with some measure of civility. 

Let's just admit it's us vs us.... mankind is guilty of atrocious behavior against one another. Just like dwarf-King Thorin finally realizes it's not about other people out to 'get' him, it's he himself who 'grew rotten', breaking his word and his honor because he was seduced by the glitter of gold and greed of power. They called it 'dragon disease', but really why blame the poor dragon. Who/what do we blame in this modern age for all the ills of society? - God, religion, government, systems, politics, the 'other'.... A weeping prophet puts it squarely, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) For all the progress we are making, perhaps we are actually regressing instead?

Death is a daily occurrence, and it's not just accidents, diseases or tragedies that kill, maim and destroy. We make war and deal death with our words and our actions upon one another, justifying everything we say or do in the name of this nebulous thing we call freedom. Could it be we are becoming a civilization that has no love in the heart for each other? Whilst we take such pride in mankind's achievements and boast so much of our clever little selves, have we lost touch with what really matters? If we have no love in our hearts for the humans that we can see, no wonder many don't, can't, won't love the God who is unseen. How will our days end, if we keep on this (self-ish) course? It shouldn't be a surprise really that what destroys human beings are other human beings.

Yet dark and depressing as such thoughts are, there is always light, if we would step into self-realization. Thorin does go to war, but dies a hero's death, opting to confront the evil which threatened his fellow creatures, be they dwarfs, elves or men. The cold elf-King Thranduil melts enough to respond with the truth to one who mourns the death of a lover, "If this is love, I don't want it. Take it away, please! Why does it hurt so much?" ... "Because it was real".

Yes, war and death is real, but so is love. The greatest force that can overcome all bad isn't sophisticated weaponry or high ideals of freedom. It is love, a love that hurts enough to care beyond self and to die for another person, a living breathing creature. Not for a cause, no matter how right or noble, because there is an inherent flaw in fighting for causes - we love whatever takes our fancy and causes are a pretty subjective thing, be it dogs, snakes, or freedom, which can be for good/bad considering one man's highest freedom could well be another man's bane.

But loving people can never be wrong, even if we are not loved in return. Because love is the only antidote for peace. Real love in tough action, not some nice soppy feel-good version; but the type that hurts and still cares anyway, because it's not focused on self, but purely on 'the other' person.
Early this morning I saw an interesting sight. The playground area around

which I jog had been a mess for some time, as they had dug up the whole place obviously to reconstruct a new one. But amidst the ugly rubble, there was this nicely piled-up triangular structure. Someone had taken the time and trouble to arrange and create something out of collapsed bricks. Maybe just for kicks, or for lack of something else better to do. Be that as it may, it spoke a message to me...

So it is that I want this last day of the year 2014 to end in hope - that out of old ruins, new structures can be rebuilt. Out of destruction there can come restoration. Out of death there can come life. Out of war, there can be peace and out of hate, there can be love. 2000 years ago, in the darkest hour of death, reviled by most, misunderstood by all, obedient to the will of God, Jesus hung on the cross; the manifestation of a perfect Love; and 3 days thereafter He emerged in the glorious victory of resurrected life. Love for God and love for others indeed never fails even if it's one long battle ahead.


"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." - 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 



Published MMO 31/12/2014

What Else is New

Someone sent me a Christmas greeting thru a Celine Dion song with some thought-provoking lyrics which went "....And so this is Christmas...what have you done ? ...another year over, a new 1 just begun..."  Life and death marches on in seemingly never-ending circles of time. So what else is new?

For so many years Christmas for me means going to a crowded church (the only time churches are  overflowing besides on Good Friday and Easter Sunday), singing nice Christmas songs, watching some nice feel-good drama about how Jesus turned someone's (usually miserable crisis-stricken) life around, and listening to another take about the old story of how Jesus Christ is the real reason for Christmas. Helping the Christmas chef - the eldest princess - cook her special brand of mushroom soup and ratatouille. Tucking into the roast turkey which comes courtesy of the generosity and love of a dear sister-in-Christ of mine. Looking over presents under the Christmas tree.  Nowadays add in the flood of Merry Christmas and Happy New Year greetings complete with obligatory postings of food and selfies over social media. 

I sit in church this Christmas day and as I steal glances at my kids, there's an ache in my heart. I remember how different it was when they were younger. In an old posting back in 2011 (here ) I talked about how I hoped they would carry the torch for their generations to come and my most constant prayer for them "isn't for riches or job security or a good life. Its just 1 thing, that they know, love and follow after Jesus Christ, the Lord their God" because that is the highest blessing, the most precious treasure. To this day I am still praying that prayer, and I figure I will still be praying it till my last breath on earth. 

I wonder what happened. I guess they grew up and grew out of God in the process of getting along in life in this world. Now I am just thankful they even deign to accompany their mom to church at all for just twice a year on Easter and Christmas day. Forget the rest of the God-stuff. This year I didn't even bother to put up the Christmas tree - in fact I wanted to donate it away - until no.2 princess asked about it, wanting it up just for the sake of having a place to put the presents. We have long stopped family devotions, sitting together after dinner reading and exploring the Bible and the only prayer I hear is a perfunctory grace said over the food if/when I am around (Even that needs to be reminded sometimes). This year I even forgot to take the traditional family photo gathered around that old tree. Well, at least we are still into presents.

Indeed so much has changed. Yet some things are still the same old same old.  Maybe that's why  we can get so blasé after a while. Let's be honest.  It must be tiresome for some people to keep hearing about Jesus Christ all the time, especially for those who have 'dropped out' of spiritual stuff and 'graduated' into the 'real' world. Especially since Jesus Christ could very well be just a humanly- exaggerated hero in some book written by some (fanatical, probably delusional) men,  since logically speaking, Jesus Christ is (admittedly) way too incredible to believe ...when it actually doesn't seem to matter whether or not there is a god in the first place, since whatever will happen will happen anyway....when we really don't need god or religion to live well....who's got time to get spiritual when we can do fine by, of and for ourselves.

Why bother with a god who's just going to put limits on my freedom to be 'me' - I am all that matters, to me. Sounds suspiciously like that old line sold to the first woman on earth, which has gotten the entire human race into endless trouble ever since- 'You will be like god' (Genesis 3:5) We don't even realize we have ended up worshiping ourselves.  Even if we do, so what's the big deal? Nothing wrong with crediting myself for the great job I have done on myself, for myself by myself . God has nothing to do with it or anything for that matter. The old mantra 'I don't need God' has been uttered ever since Eden. It still resounds ever louder in every generation as we grow smarter and life is so much better/easier/safer without the complication of having to deal with (mostly troublesome, unanswerable and quite useless) questions about god.

Let's get real - just look at what a mess the world is in. Actually we don't even need to look that far. Back in our own backyard, early in the year, Selangor was deep in the throes of a water crisis with near-empty dams affecting some 2 million folks in 300,00 households. Now the pendulum has swung to the other extreme with some 120,000 people (and still counting) forced out of their flooded homes because of unprecedented rainfall in 5 states. Then there was the dengue outbreak scare which recorded 600 cases in over just half a year. In my own family, 2 out of my 3 kids got infected. And surely no one can forget the horrible catastrophes of the 2 MAS planes. As if natural disasters, disease epidemics and national tragedies aren't enough, every other day we have some people of certain race or religion raising issues about some other people's race or religion. Not to mention violent crime is or seems to be increasing even as those who can afford it barricade themselves in  gated and guarded communities, and still many walk, drive or live in fear of getting mugged, robbed, raped, kidnapped or worse killed.

So what is the Almighty God doing about all this, that and the other evil, the wars  here, there, everywhere? Where is He in the midst of the homeless, destitute and dying? What's He doing about social injustice and sickos like suicide bombers or child paedophiles? Nothing, seemingly, for all the fervent prayers of the 'religious' winging up to heaven. Everything just goes to show there is no god, or at least no god worth believing in at any rate. He's totally irrelevant, no point wasting time even talking about Him, much less seeking Him.  I can well understand that point of view. Heck, sometimes even now after being thoroughly humbled by God 12 years ago, such thoughts still creep into my oh-so-clever analytical mind. And yes, I confess sometimes I wonder why I still keep on believing. It would be so easy (and sooo glib-Christian) to say 'You just need faith'. If only it were that easy or that simple. 

This Christmas Pastor was talking about how Jesus is Wonderful. As he spoke, I found myself asking, "Really"? Oh, sure I know all that (Christian) 'jazz' about heaven, hell, eternal life, love, joy and peace, and yes, I am very thankful and grateful I have all that through Him. But really really? Is Jesus just a feel-good tingling every now and then when I worship,  a certain hope that things will, must, get better in my life, in the world? Is He just that 'something' in my heart that 'simply knows' He can be trusted because He is (supposedly) good all the time every time and He knows best?

The answer came right in the middle of the service, as my 2nd princess was fiddling with her hand-phone. I was getting annoyed until she told me her bag which had been snatched from her 4 nites ago had been found in some bush by a stranger who had posted the whole thing up on our neighborhood fb page.  That night, she had taken a short-cut through a dark alley, as she walked back  alone from the shops near the house. Anything, in fact terrible things could have happened to her then when the motorcyclists attacked, but they only took her bag. She was physically unharmed apart from the shock of it all. That's already reason enough for me to thank God for protecting her from the worst things. Certainly none of us entertained any hope whatsoever that her bag would ever be found - much less with almost everything intact  - IC, driving license, cards, down to house key were all there; only the little cash she had in it was gone.

Just 'one of those things', coincidence, chance, fate, luck?  If it's so easy to accept such facile explanations , why is it so difficult to believe God?  Humanly speaking the odds of recovery were quite impossible. But God speaks a different language. I guess it's only when something happens out of the ordinary and expected, that I am once again jolted to remember there really is an extraordinary God.  As my brother prayed over Christmas dinner - how true it is - He is good, even when we don't realize or acknowledge Him. That's the wonder of Jesus, my God; He still works out good in spite of evil. He still loves us, in spite of our unloveliness, arrogance and unbelief. He still is in charge because He still is God.

And I guess that's why I still believe.

"The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in, From this time forth, and even forevermore" - Psalm 121:8

India 2014

Someone commented it's not easy to give up our creature comforts to do missions. I nod my head in agreement. That was when a little voice asked me, "If you think this is hard, what if I call you to give up all? To leave family, friends, job, home and country and settle in a strange land? Would you, could you?" I had to be honest to answer "God, I am sorry, I can't, at least not yet." Even though daily I can pray so glibly what apostle Paul said, " I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20)

We think the 'sacrifice' of our air-cons, soft beds, clean sheets and hot water baths are so so great already. Yet it's only temporary after all. We put up with it willingly because we know we are going home after 10 days and life will carry on as usual after that; so what's the big deal? It's really just 'touch-n-go', though we make it a point to return when we can. But with just that 1 question aimed straight at my heart, God showed me up for the hypocrite I am. People think I am so self-sacrificial and all, suffering inconveniences and hardship but really this is nothing compared to what Jesus did. He went all the way to the cross to die for the world. For that matter, compared to even just one of the 12 disciples of Jesus, what I do on every missions trip  is peanuts. 2000 years ago, 12 ordinary men dared to go everywhere and declare a risen Savior, losing their very lives in the process. The results of their faith are still shaking the entire world, for people are still arguing about Jesus Christ to this day. Me... I just get driven around a lot, preach a couple of sermons and pray. I am grateful I don't have to walk miles on foot like the disciples did in those days. I don't have to endure storms at sea, beatings, get stones thrown at me, burnt at the stake or hung upside-down on a cross. What I 'endure' on every missions trip is hardly worthy to be termed 'sacrifice'.

What is it about India that moves my heart to go back time and again? I don't know the language, except for a smattering of words. Apart from the food and the coffee, I can't say there is  anything I particularly like about India. The traffic can be horrendous, the cleanliness less than satisfactory - and that's coming from one who has already rather low standards on this issue, as anyone who knows me will know I can easily 'close 1 eye' to the dust and dirt in my own house. Every missions trip is a physical challenge. I don't sleep well during missions, because I take a long time to adjust to new surroundings. That plus long travels on narrow bumpy, winding and dark roads can be hard on the body. On every trip I see more of the poor, marginalized and destitute. I see despair, helplessness, tiredness, disease - broken bodies, spirits and souls. I know there is little we can do to alleviate the poverty or the pain or provide for all their needs. Yet something draws me to go, and go again.

Perhaps it's the sight of dirty little children with big bright eyes and white smiles who always gather around, ever curious about our obviously different skin and physical appearance. Perhaps it's looking into the sad eyes of old, scrawny ladies and men. Maybe it's watching that beggar with deformed claw hands hobbling on crippled legs knocking on windows of cars temporarily halted at traffic lights. Or it could be hearing the local pastor talk about adopting an orphan and another kid whose paralyzed mother lies immobile at a bus stop, dependent on the generosity of passers-by. Still we have this kind of people in Malaysia too, I am sure, anywhere in the world for that matter we will see 'this kind' if we care to look beyond the veneer of modern skyscrapers, luxury homes, shopping malls and fancy restaurants. Just wander around the villages, back alleys, abandoned buildings, under the bridges or bus/train stops. Like Jesus said, the poor we will always have with us....

We may not be able to do much and we may not stay long enough to see the results of our limited labor, but we trust that as we do what we can do, proclaiming the good news of the gospel, praying and ministering to the lost, sick and oppressed, God does what we can't. It's always been that way. When we are humbled enough to recognize the sheer enormity and impossibility of the task before us, then we appreciate the truth that it takes God to save and transform lives.

And He does. I was at a church which had started out years ago with a handful of believers in a cow-shed. It's now a decent brick building packed and running not one, but 4 services every Sunday. Simple folks who sit on the floor, enthusiastically clapping, singing, lifting their hands and their hearts to acknowledge a God who loves them, whose eyes shine with hope for a better tomorrow and beyond even though today may look so bad. Even the kids know how to praise, worship and pray. There is no need to expound complicated doctrines about the existence or sovereignty of God to convince them. No need to explain the unexplainable mysteries of personal encounters with and experiences of a very real God. The world calls it naivety, emotionalism, foolishness even, but those who know simply call it faith.  Words are just semantics; after all a rose by any other name is still a rose.

Perhaps that's why I keep going back...because every time I go, I see once again mega-doses of faith, hope and love in action.


"For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe....For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men... God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong, God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God." 1 Corinthians 1: 21, 25,27-29

For pix, click here

The New Super-Hero

There's a new super-hero in town. He's not handsome, not macho, has got lots more air than muscle and a stomach-pouch to boot. Even his name is less than inspiring....come on, what's Baymax supposed to mean? Still it's impossible not to love the white roly-poly blob of a robot with a heart who greets you with a "Hello, I am Baymax, your healthcare companion...On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?" A robot who 'learns' to fist-bump with his own unique 'signature' Balalalala wave of his fat fingers. A robot who tells a human that " It is okay to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain", whose only job apparently is to 'care' for your hurts, and finishes with a "Are you satisfied with your care? … I cannot deactivate until you say, “I am satisfied with my care."
What's there not to love about such a character? The animation is superb indeed although the story-line of a bunch of science nerds turned super-heroes to fight a super-villain isn't particularly earth-breaking ground. But the context of relationships being played out especially dealing with serious adult issues like death, loss, anger, justice and of course good old-fashioned love provided moments that tugged at the heart amidst the comedy and action.

Wouldn't it be nice to always have a personal 'carer' whose only thought is to ease your pain, be it an abrasion on the arm or a broken heart, who would literally go to the ends of the earth with you, do any and everything to ensure you live well, not minding self-sacrifice in the process? I don't know if science can invent such a 'carer' for suffering humanity. But I do know I have Someone better than a cute robot to give me 'warm marshmallow' hugs. I can't 'program' Him to scan my body, but He knows everything about me, inside and out anyway. I don't need to hide my pain or my mistakes. He forgives my sins, sets me free from my past and has got fantastic plans for my future to keep my body, spirit and soul healthy and well. What more can one ask? I can't solve the world's problems but I know He can, in His time in His ways. I may not agree with how He does things, but I know I can trust Him because His 'scanner' goes beyond anything I can ever see with my human eyes.

There is a scene where Baymax keeps on telling Hiro the protagonist that his dead brother is still 'here', but the kid denies it,  because the reality is death has robbed him of his dearly beloved brother; who as far as he is concerned is already 'gone' forever and will never come back. Indeed that is how things will always look like from our side of earth; death ends it all. But thankfully there is another side, which though unseen is equally real. It is the side of victory that has conquered the seeming invincibility, meaninglessness and despair of death. It doesn't depend on any hi-tech device inplanted into an impersonal machine but on a promise that is secured by the precious blood of Someone who died for the sake of all mankind and rose again to assure us there is always something more. An empty cross and an empty tomb spells a certain hope of a glorious eternal life beyond the grave. This is the God who has promised to never leave nor forsake us. His very name 'Emmanuel' - meaning God with us - says it well; He is indeed 'here' for us all the time, every time, if we care to acknowledge Him. 

Hiro finally understood that his brother strove so hard to invent Baymax simply to care and help those in pain, not to destroy or kill, no matter what the justification or provocation. God didn't program a machine to deal with our pain of certain death and judgement. He sent a very humane Jesus Christ to love, heal and save helpless and hopeless humans. Not a fictional super-hero that came out of the pages of a comic-book but a living breathing super-awesome God straight from heaven. When will we understand?

"For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him" - John 3:17