The Thing About Forgiveness

He was in the wrong. She had right of way. And he banged her car. So she got angry, justifiably so, no? The problem was she went beyond angry, to simply mad by verbally abusing the old man and physically whacking his car. Was that right? Of course not. Says who? Says everybody  who knows her response isn't appropriate to his offense. How do we know that? Duh. Because.

By now everyone must have read or heard about the Kuantan road bully who ended up being mauled on social media for her attack on a mild old man who as it turned out, refused to lodge a police report against her and instead chose to forgive and forget the whole ugly episode, even after he was fined for traffic violation for not giving her right-of-way. But that's not fair, is it? Which part isn't fair? That he was fined for causing an accident? That's the law, and he broke it, so it's only right he be fined. That she retaliated in anger? But that's only to be expected - it's normal human reaction to protect your precious property; he bumped into her car. That she ended up being investigated for criminal intimidation? Well, reasonably speaking, as much as he was fined, so should she be punished .

But instead of demanding his pound of flesh,  the one who was wrong and then was wronged (I know that's horrible grammar) was magnanimous. He forgave. I got to musing on this thing about forgiveness. Where does it come from? A human being's natural instinct is to defend, protect and promote self, especially when we just know we are in the right. So in the name of our 'rights', we insist we can speak, write or do anything, even if it's offensive, insensitive, or downright dumb....ok we all have a right to be wrong or dumb or both. But when the wrong or dumb things we do affect others, justice demands retribution and restituition.  That's the ancient law - an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. It would have been the most natural and understandable thing for 'uncle' to sue the pants (or skirt) off the lady, figuratively speaking. That should teach her a lesson, right. But he declined to exact his dues. Just where did the forgiveness thing come from?

It's not natural; look at kids; no one has to teach them about protecting their 'turf' or toys. A baby's natural instinct is to grab, not release; it's easier to take than to give away...our time, money, life. We demand the piece of cake, the pound of flesh due to us - that's natural. We defend all sorts of rights we (think we) are entitled to by virtue of law, religion or whatever.  But forgiveness goes against the grain the other way; we let go, we give up and give away...now that isn't natural; it's supernatural.  The old uncle said it as much, attributing it to his Catholic faith in a God who forgives. Well, perhaps atheists would argue it's nothing to do with God, it's all in man's innate sense of morality. Hmmm, where did morality come from?  If its innate, how come your morality can be different from mine, and how come it can be the same between people from different continents? What inside us makes us all agree murder is wrong, with or without law, with or without God? The X,Y,Z gene? Hormones? How come some people can forgive so easily and others bear a grudge so long and so hard it makes them literally sick ? Why in the first place should I forgive those who wrong me? That's unjust, not fair.     

Yep, I agree totally. In fact that's why a God who is all just would have to punish sinners.  It's only fair those who do wrong according to His most holy and perfect standard have to face the consequences of  His judgment. And that in effect spells disaster for the entire human race, since all have sinned and deserve condemnation. Oh, we try all sorts of stuff to 'be good'. Even atheists agree people should all be as good as we can be; to live and let live (even though I wonder why bother,  since it would make absolutely no difference if they are correct that there is no God, and every body just gets eaten up by maggots end of the day, but I digress...)

Yet this thing called forgiveness chooses not to insist on implementing rights but instead to exercise unmerited grace and extend undeserved mercy . Such a concept can only come from without, not within man. It's source isn't in a religious rule. It's exercised not because it happens to be a holy month. Nor is it to be reserved only for people of a certain skin-color, gender or ethnicity. The ultimate source of forgiveness flowed from God who first forgave sinful man because He is also the God who loves. In love, He forgave, and yet never compromised His justice. He simply shifted it from the shoulders of guilty man to the shoulders of One guiltlessly pure. One absolutely innocent most holy, most righteous bore the punishment of death meant for my sin, your sin, the world's sin against God. On the cross Jesus Christ died for something He never was guilty of . Absolutely unfair, absolutely crazy.

What a cruel God; how could He allow someone to die and let the guilty ones (that's you and I, by the way) escape the hell that's meant for sinners? He could because it was Himself crucified for us. The pound of flesh exacted wasn't ours; it was His very own. A concept so mind-boggling finite man with his puny little brain and a heart so prone to wander will never ever understand. Love Divine so extravagant, that can't be explained, can't be rationalised; that can only be received with the humility and gratefulness of a convicted heart that recognizes the ultimate freedom isn't in insisting on our rights, but in surrendering them.

 Jesus' last words as He died on the cross were 'Forgive them for they do not know what they do." (Luke 23:34) I first thought He meant the 'bad guys'  - Judas, the follower who betrayed Him to His enemies, the religious authorities who considered Him a threat, the Roman executioners who hung Him. But on deeper reading, I realized it wasn't just them, it wasn't just then 2000 years ago. Today we are the ones who know not what we do. We are the ones still trumpeting and parading our rights when we are so wrong before God.  We defend 'our'  freedom to live the way we want, the way we choose, intentionally or unintentionally conveniently forgetting the One who gave us that freedom in the first place.

Indeed we know not what we do when in the exercise of a God-given right,  we choose to reject God's  great love manifested in 1 momentous sacrifice, effected for all time for all people. On the cross, where Jesus hung, both God's love and God's judgment was perfected . The thing about forgiveness isn't  how great we are in being so right  but how great God is in being so gracious and merciful. That Jesus should die for such as us, so that those who believe may live forgiven. And as He was risen, so that being forgiven, we may live forgiving. 

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" - Ephesians 4:32