The Hard Thing is the Heart Thing

I was reading yet another gripe-piece about how Malaysia seems to be so torn apart by religious and racial strife, despite all the much lauded progress of this, that and the other transformation blue-print. It has become so common all we do is bemoan the state of the nation.
Somehow it reminded me of this Pakcik I used to meet on my morning jaunts in the park. He worried about his heart. Yet at 67, he could sweat it out on the concrete foot-reflexology pavement with his bare feet for a good 15 mins in the early pre-dawn morning. Something that I, younger by more than a decade, can’t manage at all, for stepping over all those sharp, round, angled, rough, smooth, differently-sized pebbles, cobbles and stones was no easy feat; the pain was so excruciating I decided long ago I would stick to just my normal walk-n-jog routine, as I didn’t fancy subjecting myself to what was literally a patterned pathway of torture. That’s why I take my hats off to the bald, heavy-set Pakcik who gamely huffed and puffed his way round and round, up and down the foot-path. He was almost always at the park earlier than I; by the time I arrived at about 530 am, he would be down to his final round or already resting on the stone bench . I would greet him Selamat Pagi and Selamat Jalan when he hopped onto his ancient noisy Honda Cub bike and rode off back to wherever he came from. I never did manage to find out where he stayed. But 2 things he did tell me, that he was a long distance lorry-driver (ya, man… wow, at his age…) and that he worried about his heart. He said he was scared of ‘sakit jantung’ – literally sick heart.  I tried to reassure him that with all the exercise he was getting, his heart should be beating strong. That was the last we spoke, now I don’t see him anymore at the park, and I wonder what’s happened to Pakcik. Did something happen to his heart?

I guess if Malaysia had a heart that could be examined under a doctor's microscope, it must look pretty bad - sick to the core, probably punctured in a million pieces and leaking precious blood. What does a broken-hearted nation look like? Well, for one, all the shine of towering buildings and feel-good songs with catchy (politically correct) slogans like 1Malaysia won't hide the underlying ugliness of fissures in the fabric of its society. All the gloss can't cover up the distrust, resentment, prejudices and ill-will that surfaces up every time race or religion rears its head. What was it someone said, first world theory, third world mentality, or something like that. If a nation had a voice, I venture Malaysia would be a cacophony of loud noise filled with tones of condemnation and contention, like the shouting of bullies spoiling for a fight over who gets the bigger slice of cake.

It should be obvious the  problem isn't race or religion really, it's people, specifically people's hearts. The Bible does not mince words about the true condition of human hearts, "For it is from within, out of a person's heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly" (Mark 7:21-22). The indictment applies to all mankind,  irrespective of our individual skin-color or belief system. All motives, good or bad, are birthed in the heart, whether or not the external act is manifested ultimately. Which is probably why Solomon, reputedly the wisest king in the ancient world, penned an apt warning, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”  (Proverbs 4:23). Obviously he wasn't just talking about the physical organ that is no bigger than the size of 2 clenched fists situated under our ribs.

An old Pakcik knew the importance of a healthy heart; he was willing to sacrifice time, effort and energy to do something to keep his heart pumping strong. What about us? Whilst we are very quick to proclaim we are all Malaysians, show off our multi-cultural festivals and talk about the 'good old days' when there seemingly was no such thing as racial disunity,  are we willing to admit the ugliness of our own hearts? In all honesty, can we answer ourselves what's really really in our heart as we look at a Malay, Chinese, Indian or Orang Asli, through our own colored lenses of perception and presumption? Is there perhaps just a twinge of resentment, or a measure of snobbery, mayhap a seed of prejudice buried deep inside our psyche which we aren't even aware of, that causes us to react instinctively to stereo-type those who are not in 'our gang'?? Perhaps that's why we jump so quickly to assume, defend and justify what's fair and unfair, right or wrong according to our own pet definitions and in pursuit of our own vested self-interests. Come on, if we are truly honest, we all have them. Go ahead, protest that I am wrong. I wish I was, but don't we all harbor certain attitudes about certain people? God forbid we ever have to confess out loud the secret feelings we keep under wraps about others. It's hard to look beyond our own hearts into another’s heart. We fail to understand, much less appreciate, the fundamental fact that in the dance of life, all our hearts can be beating to quite different rhythms, even though we may all be sharing the same floor space. That's probably why we often end up inevitably stepping on each other's toes, screaming bloody murder in the process.

So where does all that leave us? Well, for one, self-examination should at the very least make us realize it isn't 'clean' politics, rule of law, democracy, quantum leaps of technology or education, a robust economy (though all these are definitely great to have) that's going to magically transform Malaysia into the nicest place on earth. Alas, it's not good intentions (everyone has plenty of that to spare for everybody else) or idealistic dreams (which are fine but hey, let's get real) that will somehow glue back together this cracked melting-pot called Malaysia that has seen better days, when life was  perceived (correctly or incorrectly) as much simpler. Back then I guess no one really bothered to ask what's 'good' for Malaysia; maybe we were just too busy getting on with living a life and getting along with each other. After all, we are all Malaysians, so we should know what's 'good' for us.

But now, I wonder what's that supposed to mean, really? Well, the proclamation declared by our first PM, Tunku Abdul Rahman reads that as from Aug 31, 1957, Malaya (as it then was) "is and with God’s blessing shall be for ever a sovereign democratic and independent State founded upon the principles of liberty and justice and ever seeking the welfare and happiness of its people and the maintenance of a just peace among all nations". It's so easy to quote and get carried away by the noble and nice-sounding rhetoric - liberty, justice, peace - all worthy things to care about and fight for. But let's not miss the point of independence is the welfare and happiness of its people....now that's 'heart' talk, which every human being can relate to. I should think this is the declared prerogative, privilege and blessing of and for all Malaysians for all time. Unfortunately that's also where conflict is bound to shoot up like thorns on an otherwise beautiful rose plant. We 'poke' each other in the quest for welfare and happiness (of our own kind mostly), since what is 'plus' for one most often also means a 'minus' for another. So you are happy doesn't mean I am happy, since our instinctive inclination is self-survival and self-promotion, the natural thing to do first is take, retaliate and protect what is “ours”.  

And where there is 'ours', there's always a 'them' thrown into the equation. The way I see it, at its deepest level, I need to answer this in my own heart – Would I, can I, calling myself a Malaysian, give way to another Malaysian's welfare and happiness, sacrificing my own in the process? Especially when that 'other' Malaysian is different from I. If I can't do it, what right do I have to expect that Malaysian to do the same for me? That's why the hard thing is actually the 'heart' thing, as Jesus put it, to not just love God but to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31) No mention whatsoever that your neighbor must be of a particular skin-color or belong to a certain political party, or pray to the same god as you, nor that you must like him or that he must be nice to you. Nothing whatsoever about him having to be mindful of and always respect 'your rights' first. In fact, Jesus went 1 step (much) further, calling His followers to "…love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you" (Matthew 5:44) 

Can I find it in my heart to do that?? Can you? Can 28 million different hearts actually beat as one (Malaysian) heart? Realistically, no way. We can have all sorts of dialogues, set up all kinds of committees, and come up with pages of well-meant action plans with nice sounding cliches about moving forward together as 1 nation, but if we don't deal with the 'heart' issue, it's just white-washing crumbling walls, without any firm foundation.  Real unity must mean all hearts ready and willing to do the same thing for and to one another, out of love, to build each other up, not tear each other down. Real unity isn’t being content with just getting along, live and let live. Real unity comes when we choose to love the ‘other’, irrespective of whether we agree or disagree.  That's radical and a tough call. It’s going to cost – effort, energy, time – and it’s going to be real painful. Just like Pakcik undertaking all that exercise, for the sake of his heart.
It’s very easy to say I love Malaysia. But Malaysia is not just a ‘thing’; it’s that Malay, Chinese, Indian and Orang Asli who individually and collectively is ‘Malaysia’. If we are serious about Malaysia’s health, we should really check ourselves in for some ‘heart-surgery’. And it has to start with me, willing my heart to love that ‘other’ Malaysian heart. I want to do it because I believe we are all worth it, that we all deserve it. What about you?

(Published in MM 19/5/2014) 

I was reading yet another gripe-piece about how Malaysia seems to be so torn apart by religious and racial strife, despite all the much lauded progress of this, that and the other transformation blue-print. It has become so common all we do is bemoan the state of the nation.  - See more at: http://www.themalaymailonline.com/what-you-think/article/the-hard-thing-is-the-heart-thing-christine-sk-lai#sthash.2AphaNcf.Dc5DQlLA.dpuf

I was reading yet another gripe-piece about how Malaysia seems to be so torn apart by religious and racial strife, despite all the much lauded progress of this, that and the other transformation blue-print. It has become so common all we do is bemoan the state of the nation. - See more at: http://www.themalaymailonline.com/what-you-think/article/the-hard-thing-is-the-heart-thing-christine-sk-lai#sthash.2AphaNcf.Dc5DQlLA.dpuf