I thought it would be a real quiet Chinese New Year since we were not going to 'balik kampung' after all as some of my relatives were planning to 'keluar kampung' and others were tied up with this, that or the other. I was glad we didn't have to join the customary mad mad exodus-crawl along the N-S highway this year. And it wasn't that difficult dishing up some edible stuff for our own small-time reunion dinner with 5 people around the table. In fact I was looking forward to a most relaxing time at home for the 1 week break from work when the call came....
My aunt in law passed away in the early morning of the first day of CNY 2014. She had hung on in a coma for a week after a massive stroke; which would have left her totally incapacitated if she survived at all. Apparently they had to break the locks to her apartment where she lived alone after being alerted that she had failed to go to work for 2 days. No one knows when the stroke hit her. I recall we would always pop in to the photo shop she operated whenever we were in Penang. We used to joke that hers must be the only business that closed shop for only 1 day for CNY. At her age (she was in her early 80's), that's a marvel. She would take the bus all the way into town as the shop was situated smack in the middle of Penang Road. After visiting her we would inevitably end up eating the famous ice cream and cendol in the vicinity.
So we headed up north after all. Since it was festive season, we had problems finding reasonably-prized accommodation in Penang. Everywhere, even hostels, were fully-booked over the weekend. We had to settle for a double-storey house-converted-into-homestay motel, which advertised a last family room available. We dubbed it Bates Motel, after the old Alfred Hitchcock thriller Psycho, but actually, it wasn't that bad...for 1 nite. My sis-in-law was in a dither, caught in a bind because she had big plans for CNY. She was scheduled to dine with her son's potential in-laws as well as her girl and new husband in tow. She remarked quite off-hand, if only the old lady had held on for 1 more day, things would have been a little easier to manage. Now she wasn't sure if there were any last minute flights available, because she could only leave after all the mandatory family gatherings in KL. And she was already anticipating a big jam for us driving back on Sunday, when every Ali, Ah Beng and Arumugam would surely be returning to the big city to start work (she was right on that one; it took us a torturous 7 hrs to drive back on Sunday)
Her remark got me pondering...is there a 'convenient' time to die? If you had a choice to fix when you leave this world, what time, day, month and year would you tick on a calendar of the future? And how would you want to 'go'? Most people desire to see certain things accomplished before they breathe their last....many want to live long enough to see all their children well-established in good careers, raising happy families of their own. Some want to 'go' before their bodies get broken down by age or disease. Everyone wants to die in their sleep, without pain, violence or suffering. So much for wishful thinking.
We all know the truth is death doesn't happen according to our whims and fancies. Duh, so what's the point of asking such dumb questions. Indeed to even bring up the subject of death is taboo amongst traditional Chinese, especially during CNY. Very 'swuay' - bad luck. But not talking or thinking about death doesn't prevent it from creeping up and pouncing on us...one day in our life, we will all die, in fact the pessimist says every day we live, it's one day closer to dying. Death is the ultimate equalizer....it strikes at the rich in palaces and the poor homeless vagrant. It doesn't discriminate between gender, age, body fitness, race, religion or political affiliation. Death knocks at the door irrespective of whether it's a holy day, holiday or plain ordinary day.
And yes, it can be so darn inconvenient. It could come in the shrill ring of the phone that rings in the dead (pun intended) of the nite, when all decent people are nicely sleeping and dreaming sweet dreams. It could cut you down at the peak or in the prime of your life. You just need to open up the newspapers, read the obituaries (you know you are getting on when you start doing that, like me) and get a daily dose of death all over the world. Statistically, about 150k people bite the death bullet every day, which works out to about 6000 bodies every hour, 105 per minute, and 2 per second, even as I type this sentence. Heck, I could be the very next one to drop dead....
I wonder if it happens when there is no one around me, like how it was my aunt in law, say when I am all alone jogging in the pre-dawn darkness of the morning, would my kids know where to find me? Or if I get smashed up in a road accident, would I still be recognizable? Eesh, morbid. No one looks pretty in death. The make-up the undertakers use cannot camouflage its pall. Death is indeed horrible, however we may 'go', even if it's in our sleep. For the simple reason it's a cheat, a robber and a killer of life. Immortality was crafted into our genes; all of us refuse instinctively to die. That's why we all grieve when death hits a target. If we can get upset with losing a loved one to death, I can imagine how upset God gets every time death snatches away one that He created with such loving care. No wonder He went to such great lengths to give us back the life He meant for us originally.
Some people blame God for not stopping death; where is His power or His good if He can't/won't get rid of something so bad? Hai, how shallow humans can be; we either blame others, God or the devil for everything. We don't get or like that death is the natural consequence that has to be, by the very law that God had laid down for man in the first place. Don't play with fire or else you will get burnt. Don't eat this or else you will die. We can't say we were not warned. Law is law; a just God won't suspend His own law no matter how His heart may grieve at the harshness of its effect. That's how law is supposed to work - we break the speed limit, we pay the fine. Man can bend the rules; the police can issue discounts, cancel the summons; but that doesn't mean the offence wasn't committed. The deed was done, and it can never be blotted out; it just means mercy was exercised in the sentencing.
That's how it is with God. As the ultimate Judge of all who can do no wrong, He lets law take its course, as it should. But in His mercy, He extends grace for all sinners. Funerals remind me to be grateful that God didn't just let death be to run havoc with human lives. He didn't stop it, instead He went one up better - He overcame it. That's what Jesus did; He died, but rose again, triumphant over death. And that's my hope beyond the death that will claim my body by and by. That's why I tell my kids, I want my funeral to be a party. Cry for me a little, but rejoice for me a lot, because I am sure I will be looking down from a pretty 'kool' place, with the 'kooolest' Guy ever, holding my hand in His hand. And if that should turn out to be just a silly little fable cooked up by some fanatic nut-cases over Someone who died on a cross, that's ok. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by believing that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. I'd rather die happy in a delusion, than unsure, fearful or just plain dying away into nothingness or worse into the hottest (hell) fire.
There is never a convenient time to die. But that doesn't matter to me, because the second it happens, I know I am home free. God promised, and Jesus Christ proved it. When all was done, there was an empty cross and an empty tomb....the death of death and the resurrection of life forevermore.
"The last enemy to be destroyed is death....When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: 'Death has been swallowed up in victory.” 1 Corinthians 15:26, 54
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