Another day's work done. Or so I thought, as I walked out of the street alley. I had hoped to see Mr Saddest Face, the guy to whom I had given my ang-pow last week. But he wasn't around. That's how it is on the streets; many times, I never know what happens to the people I talk to, share with and pray for every Sat. There are some I only see once, and then they disappear from my life. Which is why I deem it so so crucial to let everyone I talk to know about Jesus. I leave them with that Name above every other name, in the hope that even though they may literally drop out of my life after 1 chance meeting, who knows someday when they are pushed to the wall, have lost all hope and don't know what to do or where else to run, mayhap, they will remember and they will call that Name, and be saved....
There are some though who re-appear after a long absence. Like this young couple with kid daughter in tow; she tells me the husband has lost his job, again. This time they brought her sister-in-law along who has not 1, but 2 kids - a baby in her arms, and another little boy, barely 3 years old at most. My heart groans inwardly. Bad enuf the adults are in this state...even kids are not spared the indignity.... But kids being just kids, they are oblivious to their surroundings or their condition. So there they go, the girl is busy wolfing down a free bun, the boy is fascinated with the guys who have started off the day's programme with a catchy tune. He is clapping his little hands and it's then I realize today's singing is different.
The old song was one familiar to all on the street, yet it sounded so....new. It 'got' to my heart, and set my hands tingling and feet tapping. I know anointed worship when I hear it. And this was anointed stuff; I paid closer attention to the young man leading; he was a 'newbie', apparently 'saved' straight out of the street. What a testimony to the power of God who alone can lift people out of the deepest darkest holes of human degradation and put us back into rightful relationship Him and with society, and give us new songs to sing to celebrate life. Looking at him belting his soul out, I knew this was how it should be, not just a 15 min sing-song session but a time to connect man's heart with God's heart. We can preach the best-sounding sermons, but it's anointed worship that brings God's very presence into our midst, and creates that spiritual climate that will move human hearts to respond. Everything gets charged up when God envelops human space.
And the effects linger on.....my eyes swept through the crowd of faces and connected to the 2 guys sitting together. One was an old-timer, the other comes by occasionally. I passed them with an off-hand remark to the one I know - that he can run away from man but he can never run from God because God loves him. Sometimes words just come to me, but I have learnt somehow God uses my mouth to speak to human hearts. Now 1 hour later, the 2 of them were lounging aimlessly on an unused cart outside. The alley was almost empty, apart from the drug rehab centre boys who, as usual, were staying back to dismantle the support posts that provided cover for our afternoon feeding.
Again the prompting came to talk to my fren, though I really just wanted to go home as I was tired. He was eyeing me warily as I walked up to them. "So where are you running to, now?" He looked ashamed. "Nowhere la, aunty. I wanna go home Puchong, I got no money, just come out hospital.." Man, this guy can tell stories. "Walk la" was my reply. We all laughed. Then he sobered up as he confessed he had fallen back into old habits and he didn't know how to carry on anymore; he had given up on himself. Once again, I felt my own helplessness in the face of his hopelessness. So once again, I did the only thing I can do; remind him there is a God who loves him, who can turn his life around if he would only believe and act on that belief. It's always been that way; belief is only 1 side of the coin. God doesn't save us to allow us to go on sinning and living the old life. If we do, we will just fall again, and again and again. But the good news is He will pick us up again, and again and again. Till we get it into our thick fat heads it's His responsibility to save, but our responsibility to change as He empowers us to change. Jesus always healed and almost always after that, left a word to whoever He healed..."Go, sin no more"
Suddenly the other guy piped up. "Aunty, I wanna go into centre... I need help...I don't wanna live like this any longer..I see Jesus in front of me every morning.. " Finally a heart crying out, admitting its need, and willing to do his part. It reminded me of a Christian book titled, "If you don't step out of the boat, you can't walk on water " based on Peter, the disciple, probably the only human being who ever walked on water in a storm-tossed sea (at least for a few minutes), because he dared to when Jesus called him forth. It's taken this guy a long time but thank God, today, he was ready to step out of his boat. As I prayed for him, my heart was singing. I told him, as much for my own benefit as it was for theirs, "Our eyes only see, and sometimes all we see is bad, but when we know Jesus, our hearts just know different." The young man nods his head, flashes a big grin and waves as I walk off.
Statistics apparently show for every 3 addicts who go into rehab, 2 will relapse. It's such a vicious cycle. If I were a little less trusting of God, I would long have given up praying for these fellas...people who disappear and re-appear with the same problems, people who have been sitting on the stools every Saturday for the past 10 years getting free food (and apparently precious little else despite all the sermons sounding in their ears), people still unchanged in spite of all the prayers going up to heaven for them. Many times my human eyes fail to see the point of all our blood, sweat and tears poured into this ministry. But my heart tells me something else; that God is at work all the time, unseen. That even after the music stops, even when all has been said and done, He is still working....even when we give up, God doesn't give up...even when all I want to do is go home. I am glad I didn't.
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" - 2 Corinthians 4:18
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