I guess finding God is often like that too. If only there was a GPS that could pin-point exactly which turn to take, how many meters to the next exit, or where there is a jam on the road leading to Him. Everything would be so pitty-pat and easy-measy, no sweat. We wouldn't have to exhaust our brains trying to figure out doctrine or get into divisive disputes about proof of this, that or the other. We wouldn't need to get all tangled up over tough questions about faith, the meaning of life and such like. No wonder so many people choose to give up on God and just live out their existence on this planet. Life is really simpler (and I am sure many can swear, so much more fun) without God. Besides, who says there is no meaning without God? I know tons of people whose life, according to them, is actually full of meaning, without God. (I should know, since I once was one of them) So, pluhlease, let's get off our 'religious high-horse' and not be so presumptuous about how others perceive their lives.
I have oft wondered why is it some find it so easy to believe yet some find it impossible to believe God. The short and spiritually-correct answer is it takes faith. Actually even the atheist has faith - that there is no God. So what gives? The Bible gives a clue in Hebrews 11:6, that "without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him".
The key then isn't faith; not everyone gets rewarded; only the man/woman who is "earnestly seeking" after God. How much "seeking after" is one prepared to do?? I went round and round for close to 1 1/2 hours on the road, all because I was determined to get to that rally. At one point, stuck in traffic, twiddling my thumbs and watching the clock in the car, I was very tempted to just give up, turn around and head back home. After all I have been to many rallies, I won't die if I miss this one, and I could still make it for cell-nite. But I didn't, because I had committed to going for this finale, out of a prior inner urging that God had something in store for me. I had skipped the previous 2 nites' rallies, but this one I knew I shouldn't skip.
As with all choices in life, we are the final decision-makers; even down to something as simple as whether to U-turn on a road. Indeed I could have turned around; my life could have gone on as normal; seemingly none the worse. But I am glad I chose to go on instead, despite all the difficulties on the road. Because I would have missed the blessing if I had given up half-way. So it is when we choose not to believe God. No big deal, it seems. But then we would never know how much we miss if only we had chosen otherwise. If we did indeed have sought and found nothing, perhaps the problem isn't with God, but with our own faulty understanding and/or expectation of God that we have created in our own mind.
When I saw the sign ahead, I was so pleased I had made it in time after all. And when I walked into the huge auditorium, to see at first sight an Indian team performing, I really felt I had 'come home'. What a joker God is, knowing my heart for India, He makes sure I 'get it' good. The place which was like a huge indoor stadium was packed. There were apparently folks from 69 nations represented in that 5000 crowd. I found a seat way up right at the back and from that vantage point, it was a such a beautiful sight, looking down at the rows and rows of people, especially when hands were raised in united worship. But it was the Word of God coming from the speaker that stirred my heart, as I am sure it stirred many others. For one so young (only 32), Pastor Daniel Kolenda preached way better than some 'oldies' I have heard in the pulpit. A white man from USA who calls himself an African because he's got Africa in his heart, where he's seen 9 million souls respond to God and countless miracles wherever he preached and prayed - exactly like in the days of Jesus - here is a man who not only talks about God, but has seen with his own eyes, known and experienced the awesome reality of God in his daily life.
What he had to say that nite however wasn't a nice sermon; his message didn't massage egos. And I guess that's why it's good. He spoke the truth; hard-hitting truth - that it's such a tragedy we go around 'pretending' everything is alright in life, when it's not. Instead of getting serious with God, we 'play games' with Him. He was talking about the church, but in reality, if we are brutally honest, everyone does it. Indeed some spend their whole lives running away, hiding from, denying or rejecting God. How sad when we who claim to know God can only pass onto others mere dogma and religion; ensconced in fancy big buildings we call "our church", having a fantastic band that plays the 'right' music, singing stirring songs and listening to sermons that sound (and are indeed) good. Like Pastor said, we can do many good things, but all for nothing. The God who is worthy to called the Almighty should surely be more than that.
Put that way, I guess I would have to conclude we really have "lost it". Jesus didn't die so I can 'play church'. He died to save my life, so that I can pass on this truth to others, so that they can be saved and in turn pass it on to still more. He rose again to give me the benefit of experiencing a new life hid in Him, without which I wouldn't be in any position to testify He is indeed the way, the life and the truth, not just for me, but for the generations to come after me, so that they would have their own experience of God and know for a fact He is who He says He is. When another pastor rose to pray for the next generation, he echoed my heart's cry all along - that my kids and their generations down the line will desire to seek and find the faith to believe and experience the reality of an Abba Father God who loves them and wants nothing more, nothing less than to bring them 'home' to Himself.
I was so convicted that when altar-call was issued, I joined hundreds of others who made their way from all over the hall, packing the front till it 'overflowed' onto the steps. Pastor didn't bother to pray for anyone by then. He didn't need to. God was in the house, and that's what mattered. I was in tears, as I realized my journey that nite wasn't about hearing a great sermon or getting into the 'mood' of a great congregational gathering - it was about getting 'there' - to the feet of Jesus, where I knelt, receiving healing for my burdened heart, fresh hope once again to believe in the goodness, greatness and faithfulness of my God. It wasn't about getting to church; it was about getting 'there' - right into the presence of God Himself.
Actually, it's taken me a long while to travel this journey, all of 40 years of my life in fact, and many times the road had seemed arduous going. But getting there has been worth it, and as the old hymn goes, there's no turning back.
"You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:13
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