I really should learn to 'listen, listen, listen' to my heart. I don't mean my heart heart, as in getting all emo over something. I mean, that inner 'voice' that tells me what I should know to do; even when logic dictates otherwise. Some people 'see' visions from God; I don't tho I have often prayed for that ability. Heck I can't even remember my dreams. But I do get 'impressions' which I know must have a divine source, simply becoz I am sure I could never in my own mind think them up. So it was when I saw the man staring as we started off the street programme as usual with worship. In fact I had been conscious of his eyes following me even when I was moving around the crowd before we started. And I am very sure it's not because I was looking pretty. His gaze was intense even as we moved into the sharing of the Word and I was walking up and down translating Pastor's message about the necessity to die to the old life before there can be any resurrection of a new changed life. It wasn't easy trying to simplify what's essentially a spiritual issue. To ask a man to die? Nobody wants to do that. I don't know if the message got thru, but as I ended with a prayer, I found the man still staring intently at me.
Have you ever found yourself knocking on the wrong door? I really can be quite 'blur' at times. I normally wait awhile to let people eat a fair bit of the food that's dished out before I sit down to chat. I should have parked myself next to the man of course, (the cues were so obvious already) but I didn't. Instead I got distracted by a familiar face - I saw 'my' uncle with a full plate of rice left untouched. So I approached him and asked why he had no appetite, was he sick? He nodded, so I told him I would register him at the medical station. He was no.22 in queue. That meant a lot of chatting time; ok, this must be the one God wants me to speak to today. Uncle glumly said he wanted to die. I said that's good, since that's the message Pastor had just preached, but I added the proviso, it's only good if you know Jesus. He asked why. I said because Jesus resurrected. That got me into a mess. Trying to explain the meaning of Christ resurrection - of a man's claim to be God - to a staunch non-believer is....tough to say the least. Worse to follow, it lead onto him questioning the Trinity of God. I was in a bigger mess. Which human can adequately explain the Holy Trinity? Heck, I don't even 'get' it myself. So I freely admitted to uncle I don't have all the answers. I got as far as using the analogy of water remaining 1 compound of H2O despite its various forms of liquid, solid and gas. Then uncle was called off to see the doctor.
All this while the man who had been staring at me had moved to seat himself right behind us. He was eavesdropping on our conversation, hanging onto every word. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his obvious interest. And so finally with uncle trotting off to the doctor, I turned my attention on him. Before I could even start, he said Thank you. I pointed up to heaven; that's who we should thank, I smiled. And immediately it all fell into place. This was the door I should be knocking at. I could have kicked myself for missing it. How could I be so 'duh duh'?? As he unfolded his story, it was so obvious God had touched him. Even way before this Saturday. He told a rather strange tale of how about a week ago, a 'mother' from church had chanced upon him sleeping on the side-walk, asked him to follow her into the shopping mall, bought him a new shirt and pants (which he proudly indicated he was wearing now, and yes, they were new) and given him $20. I was curious why he called her 'mother' and how he knew she was from a church. He said she was wearing the 'white long thingy' that church people wear ; I can only presume he meant a nun in her habit. Yet at the back of my mind, I was asking myself, hmmm, a 'real' nun walking around dirty sidewalks and going shopping?? Honestly, the last nuns I saw were in my old Convent School back in my secondary school days, when I was a very young teenager. Could this have been an angel in disguise?? Whether human or divine, she certainly was the angel God had sent to this man in his hour of need.
But pushing that aside, I told him I noticed he had been staring at me for so long, and asked what he wanted. He touched his heart; he didn't need to say anything else. For my part, I merely asked him whether he believed what I had been telling about Jesus to uncle . He answered I want to, but I am scared. I had to reassure him there are many like him who are scared but who have believed and taken that step of receiving Jesus Christ anyway, because ultimately it's between him and God, no one else. After he followed me in prayer, immediately he asked, How do I go to church? Amazing; one minute ago, he was a 'scaredy-cat', now even without my urging, he wants to go to church. Such is the genuine hunger of a man who willingly comes to God in repentance and faith. Finally I asked 'So, if you die today, where do you think you will go?" He looked a bit puzzled as if I was asking an unnecessary spurious question. Without hesitation he answered, "Heaven". And the clincher, "How do you know that?" A wrinkle appeared on his brow as he looked at me and said, "I will be resurrected, like Jesus." Bingo.
I am so blessed. I get it all wrong, and God makes it all right. I can miss the mark, but God never misses His.
"Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love Him?" - James 2:5
No comments:
Post a Comment