You have to walk past a stinky rubbish dump to get into the alley proper which is a rather narrow stretch of 'street'. Running along 1 side of it are the back walls of buildings; the other is a public carpark along which is erected a wire-mesh fence. The alley activities always raise the eyebrows of patrons who park their cars there. They are curious what goes on under the plastic-wrap awning that is stretched out across the fence to the back walls along the alleyway. They stare at the 100, sometimes 200 odd specimens of humanity gathered thereunder, seated on plastic stools arranged in 2 lines facing each other - old, young, male, female, even 'in-betweens' (sometimes), of all races; almost all are unkempt, most lug around worn-looking or tattered plastic bags , some look suspiciously drunk, others look positively like gangsters with fierce tatoos on their bare arms and rings in their ears....... surely they wonder what on earth is this motley bunch of people waiting for? They may see plates of rice or cups of Chinese tea/teh tarik being passed along by what looks like an assembly line of 'workers' to those seated. Sometimes they will get to hear people sing songs or talk about God thru a loudspeaker, and mayhap again they wonder, what is this - a religious thingy ?? But its too 'odd' to be that.... welcome to the world of street-feeding...
A world so far removed from the 'normal' fabric of society that some of us, truth to say, would rather not get involved with, becoz they represent the dirty dregs that don't 'fit' into our nice comfy world. Oh, of coz we know they exist; every so often papers would highlight the plight of the homeless or vagrants who for one reason or another end up on the streets. And its not in KL alone; anywhere everywhere they are there... under the town bridge, in the abandoned shop-house, along the road-shoulders. It's just that our eyes sort-of glaze over them, we see them and we don't see them; simply becoz we don't want to know..their story.
It can't be a good story anyway. What can you expect from a drug addict who's been in and out of rehab and/or prison the umpteenth time? A prostitute who sells her body for as cheap as $15 when 'business' is low? Who wants to listen to an old woman crap about how she hates being cooped up with a family who yells at each other and at her all the time even if she aint deaf? What can you say to a guy who shrugs when asked why don't you get a proper job? Or the one who nonchalantly rolls his cheap tobacco onto a torn square of old newspaper and proceeds to blow smoke-rings into your face, as if daring you to stop him? See the pregnant woman in the corner - that's her second baby she's bearing on the streets in 2 years; I guess people can make babies anywhere, even in the open parks, especially if they got nothing else better to do . And that man with yellow-tinged eyes - sheepishly he says he only drink leeetle bit, and its just becoz he can't forget his wife who died. You know, that crazy dude who will not let go of your hand and says he loves you - his family are all doctors staying in big bungalows. And that guy with the freaky cap who can talk till the cows come home about the differences between Jesus Christ and other prophets, and along the way, he will cerita about all the overseas countries that he has visited before - he's got a Masters' degree under his belt. Oh, but that one sitting there with the sad look on his face, better to avoid, becoz he will use every sob-story in the book to get you to part with $10 for the bus fare home to see his dying....(whoever); when you don't give, he will reduce the need to $5 or $2, just to get his fix for the day.
That's their world, not ours. Often people have (properly) queried, why on earth do you wanna feed these vagabonds? They are 'bad' to the core, there is no hope of redemption in or for them. Got hands, got legs, don't wanna work! Got work, don't seem to be able to hold the job for long. See, they never even say thank you for that plate of chicken curry rice you offer them every week. Ungrateful wretches that they are, some even have the gall to complain why they don't get drumstick! Some eat the meat, and throw half the rice away. Others surreptitiously try to 'ta pau' becoz they just came from another place which already fed them, and so they wanna keep this one for 'later on'. Oh, they all know where to get fed every day of the week; most certainly we don't have to worry that they will die of hunger - they can't; there are just so many 'good' folks waiting to feed them. And so actually they can survive quite well, aside from having to sleep under the sky (consider it the free "multi-star hotel" open to all) and suffering certain inconveniences like outwitting the RELA raiders who swoop in every now and then to cart them off . But after awhile, they will be released anyway, since our prisons are already overflowing . What good does all this charity do besides just encourage them to live a life of indolence and laziness?
Valid question; once upon a time I have asked myself this too. The other day a sister-in-Christ asked me further, so do you think after all these years, it's worth it, where's the fruit of all your labor?? Well, i guess if we count by the world's reckoning, this is really a 'losing business' with zero returns. But God's work isn't appraised by man's accounting. Yet even by spiritual standards, it seems there is no result worth talking about. Every Sat, we feed the crowd not just physical food; we serve not just plates of rice but the Word of life, we pass out not just tea, but the living waters of divine kindness, grace and mercy from on high. But even whilst we are doing all this , I see some nodding off to slumberland (tho they automatically perk up when the food is served), some busy talking amongst themselves, some in a world of their own, some stroll in at the very end of the programme, just in time for the food. Not many are listening or interested in the songs or speeches... they have heard it all a zillion times every Sat for umpteen years...they will take the rice, tea and bananas, but they will not take the highest blessing of salvation and freedom. They who are rejected of man, would reject the God who loves them.
My heart aches over this tragedy, not just for them, but for all who have heard, and yet still refuse to believe. Most aptly Jesus had foreseen the rejection of people who would not believe . Yet He still went all the way to the cross to bear the sins of all humankind, whether or not they believed Him. That was the measure of His great love for the world; He sacrificed Himself - He did it anyway. And I remember this poem that's been attributed to Mother Theresa:
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
So I have learnt to just do what God has assigned as my portion, and let Him determine the results; I don't need to waste my time wondering if any of my blood, sweat and tears poured over this, that or any other service that I do for God is bearing fruit. If I start counting, I will end up frustrated, angry and all burnt-out; becoz many times i just can't 'see' anything happening . So I just accept the truth that only God can love people, and only God can save them. My job is just to tell those whom He brings into my life that there is this God - He loves me, He set me free, He gives me new life and He can do the same for you, if you would just believe. And so every Sat, we tell the same thing over, again and again. We proclaim the most fantastic come-back story of all time - the story of Jesus Christ, who came, died and rose again; the greatest news, the biggest deal of His-story: that everyone who calls on His name shall be saved. And becoz I am the bearer of glad tidings, I can do it with joy by the grace of Him who gave me the job.
Is it worth it? If ever my flesh is so weakened that I start questioning myself, I only need to recall this 'special' kid (well, he's not exactly a kid, but a huge grown man who's somewhat intellectually challenged) who comes to the street-feeding with his old mother. He doesn't know my name, no matter how many times I tell him. But always when i kneel beside him, he will greet me, in Cantonese "Yesoh che che" and that makes my day becoz it's the highest compliment that anyone can ever pay me, becoz for me it simply means he identifies me with Jesus; doesn't matter he knows not my name, but he knows the Name above every other name! I ask him further "who loves you, boy boy?" He answers, "Ma-ma, Yesoh che che, Yesoh" and he will clap his hands and hi5 me. He may not understand much, but if this much he has understood, I am already very very blessed, becoz he has understood the greatest truth of all; that Jesus loves him. If such a simple-minded 'child' can understand this, why is it that others can't, or is that people just don't want to??
Still, if its only just 1 person out of the whole crowd there that I serve every Sat who catches this and takes Jesus to heart, that is sufficient reward for me... to keep doing it anyway, for as long as there are Saturdays to come. If God doesn't give up on them, on everyone who doesn't yet call on His name, how can I??...
"I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." Luke 15:10
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