The party continues

 
 
 
 

There's a song ringing in my head..I am so blessed, so blessed, so blessed...first my own fleshnblood family started the ball rolling on my b-day , then 4 days later on Sunday (which coincidentally was mother's day ) , my Christ-family joined in and continued the celebration. My eldest princess and boyfren slaved over their speciality cored apple dessert, my 'kaki-kaki' all came to bless with pots of food...my brother got the cake... and i made the only dish i know to do well (jiu hoo char )... and tra la... wat a spread it was for the dinner table. What better way to grow old than being surrounded by people whom i love and who loves me! And all this is possible only becoz the God who is Himself love taught me all about love..

I remember how i used to be, all caught up, wrapped up in my own family. After i married, it was basically just me, the hubby and the kids.I lived my life secure in this little cocoon i had created around us. Sure i had frens, but they were not family. Heck, back then, i didn't even visit my own bros n sis back in Alor Star during Chinese New Year. And it wasnt bad, not an unhappy life for i told myself that's all that mattered;so there was a measure of selfcontentment that came out of a self-contained, self centered lifestyle. It kept me going 20 odd years after all.

And if not for my husband's cancer, i guess i wld hv continued living like that to the end of my days ; unaware that life is meant to be more than a self drawn circle. It is meant to be so much much more; I found the meaning of a full, abundant life only at age 40, when my world was turned upside-down literally... then only could my eyes see right-side up. What an irony. How i thank God each day, He pulled the comfy rug from under my feet and opened up a wonderful fabulous world that i never knew existed, becoz i was too busy caught up in one that was my own creation.

I hv bn asked if my God is so good, why didn't He let my husband live. Hey, i asked the same question myself then, but how true it is that God is not here to grant our wants;we didn't create God, we are created by Him for Him. His aim is to make saints out of sinners; to bring us back to Him, for He is the greatest blessing. So just becoz bad things happen doesn't mean God is bad. If not for the bad things that happened in my life, I wouldn't know my God is so really really good. If there was no agony, we wouldn't know the meaning of ecstasy. If there was no darkness, we wouldn't appreciate light.

8 years ago, God called me out of my darkness into His light. He took my husband home, but gave me another much extended family to love and be loved by. He took my job, and gave me a calling. He took my money and gave me treasure that can't be bought. He broke me, and then He healed me, restored me and gave me a meaning to live beyond myself, beyond my kids, beyond causes and things. He has put songs in my heart i never knew to sing, and now 8 years down the line, as i celebrate another b-day, another mother's day, i am so thankful to be so so so blessed...

We love because He first loved us... 1 John 4:19
This is love; not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.. I John 4:10