Seasons

The Bible says there's a season and a time for every activity under heaven... how true God's word is. I had thot now that i've found my calling doing street work, i dont ever wanna stop; i had big plans, big dreams as i helped out in the ministry... yet 2 yrs down the line, it was taken away by circumstances beyond my control.. how i struggled letting go of something that had come to mean so much to me. I argued with God.. surely You don't mean to destroy such a good work that has been carrying on for so long, surely You didn't bring me in just to kick me out again.. oh, how i struggled, refusing to believe God can actually choose to tear down even a beautiful thing.

But finally, thru much crying and praying, i got wat God was trying to teach me... He's in charge of all things, and He's got every right to do wat He wants however He wants, whenever He wants. If He builds up, He can tear down...yes, even precious things. But His Word reassures me, that in all things He works for good for those who love Him according to His purpose, and that applies in all circumstances, even and esp. when things look bad. Somehow good will come out of it, in His perfect timing and way. After all that's wat my faith is based on... faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things yet unseen... I've since given up a major part of the street work; cutting it down to once a week Sat feeding.

So for once in my life, i got so much free time on my hands... it's a difficult adjustment for me, coz i m always the do-ing type, can't sit still . And i guess that's one more lesson i gotta learn - to just wait upon God for Him to lead me further. Frankly i'd rather be doing, doing, doing, rather than praying, praying, praying! Come to think of it, aren't most of us like that? We get so busssyy doing stuff, we lose track of the most impt thing we shld be doing -sitting still and listening to God. Instead we get involved in all sorts of things, even good things for that matter.

Looking back, i shld hv seen it coming.. during my last trip in India, for the 1st time in my life, i found myself preaching to more cows than people! Never happened to me... such a blow to my pride.. and i guess that's the problem... i was getting too proud, involved in so many 'good' things i was in danger of forgetting the One behind the good things, i hd come to tink i was pretty indispensable, after all hadn't God blessed me with so many talents, so many skills, surely He wants to use me to the max?? Surely He doesn't mean to put me on the shelf fiddling my thumbs! But He does, He whams me on the head to remind me - hey, kiddo, remember who you are; nothing but clay which I moulded into something worthy, I can use you, but I can also NOT use you....

Ahh, how gracious God is - He pulls me back when i m in danger of straying off the cliff...I know its time for me to let go of all other things - good and bad - and just sit at His feet and enjoy God for who He is, not for wat I can do for Him. The yester-years were terrific summers and the experience was fantastic. But now that my winter's come, i m learning hey, it's not so bad, esp. when He's around. I may not be as comfy as the sleeping bears (since i dont fancy zzzzzzz that much) but winter's cold forces me to snuggle up into the warmth of His everlasting loving arms, and rest in His peace that transcends all human understanding - and that's a truly terrific place to be in!