HOW COULD I....FORGET

 First it was my handphone.

 I just couldn't remember where I had put it; it must have been the food that distracted me so much.  I was at a Christian pot-bless fellowship, celebrating a brother's "house-warming" as well as get-together with  my street ministry volunteers.  There was so much food, I was going for second and third helpings of pasta, fried rice, beehoon, chicken, roast duck, rendang, salads, and desserts. The apartment was on the 13th floor, which accorded a very good view of the glorious sun-set, overlooking busy streets with shops lit up as night fell.      

 

I finally found my handphone in my bag after all. It reminds me of the well-known cartoon about the old grandpa who's searching high and low for his spectacles, only to have his young grandchild point at him, saying "they are on your head, grampa." An hour later, I was searching again, this time for my car-key, as it was time to leave. Well, obviously no one can call a car-key. So I looked in every nook and corner of the apartment, I checked and re-checked my bag many times.  Where could I have left it? I was sure I had put it into my bag after I parked at the very public lot of the condo building. Now I wasn't so sure. Hmmm, could I have left it in the car without locking it? My host offered to accompany me down. 

I was praying very hard as we walked to the parking lot. Phew, my car was still there. Straight away I tried the door on the driver side...it was locked. There was no key in the ignition. O no, now what...suddenly the brother called out,  "Hey, your key is here." I went over to where he stood in front of the car . And sure enough, there was my car key, sitting (very obviously) on the - car bonnet. I was totally

flabbergasted. It had been there in full public view for 3 hours. God knows how many people had passed up and down and surely would have seen it. Anyone could have just taken hold of it and driven away my brand new (2 months old) car. And I only have myself to blame. I was horrified at my own carelessness. I don't even remember how the key got there in the first place. And most of all I was so unspeakably thankful, grateful for God's angels who must have been guarding my car. Lately I have felt led to pray protection over all my family, our possessions, relationships,  homes, work, finances, everything down to our coming in and going out. How faithful my God is to cover us under the shadow of His wings.

I tell myself I really must train my mind to remember. It's not only things I forget, I also tend to forget names and faces. So I am always very embarrassed when I meet people who remember me and address me by name, but  I honestly can't place who they are. It took me some years to remember all the names of the 20 odd Orang Asli children I teach weekly, and I still forget some to this day. Now I have got a new batch and I am struggling to recall who is who. It doesn't help when they are so naughty they purposely mis-identify themselves, just to have some fun with "teacher." 

I also can't remember places. I am what I call "directionally challenged." Even with waze or google , I can get quite lost. I am hopeless at reading maps, and even worse with estimating distances. I never know what's 100 or 300 meters. So I am always either turning too early or too late, over-shooting the turn. I remember in my first attempts to use waze, I ended up literally in a cemetery. 

And these days I find I am even forgetting what day it is. Just a couple of weeks ago, I actually forgot to go teach my weekly bible class to "my" OA kids. I thought it was a Monday, when it was already Tuesday. So it was a case of teacher "ponteng" class, instead of the other way round. I think it's something retired folks kinda slip into. Because we are retired, all our days have become "same same." So it doesn't make much difference what day of the week it is. Except for major festivals, I don't even know when/why it's a public holiday anymore. 

Is it age catching up? I guess. But I also know some not-that-old frens who have problems remembering where they put stuff which were in their hands just minutes ago. Or when this or that happened. So it can't just be age. 

Whatever. I can forget car keys, handphones, faces, and days. Sure these are important;  still, forgetting such stuff merely results in inconveniences to me. But there's something absolutely essential I keep reminding myself never ever to forget.  

It was mother's day when I misplaced my car key at nite. I had already been "celebrated" in the morning in church with the usual tribute, prayers and gifts. Of course it's right to appreciate the "universal queen" who gave birth to every child on planet earth.But as I stood up front, I could see some young people in the congregation wiping away tears. I guess they must be remembering the mothers in their lives. After the service, I held my usual bible class with the children from a KL home. I asked them how they felt about mother's day. Some looked blankly back at me, some shrugged, two brothers said they never knew their mother. I asked further if their parents had ever said I love you, or Sorry, to them. Almost all shook their heads. I felt so sad for them. And I am sure there are many others like them; children of this generation and children of the previous generations who are now grown into adults who have never heard those words. Like me for one. I don't blame my parents; it's just not their "way." 

I know some people who would rather skip church on festive occasions like mother's or father's day, precisely because they really can't "buy" into the celebration bit, because for them, there's nothing, no reason to celebrate really. Especially if they come from broken homes, or are orphans. Much as I understand the outpouring of heart-felt appreciation for parents, I feel for those whose experiences are simply outside the norm. 

So I told the kids I can't be their mom, but I can pray and bless them with the love of a God that is greater than any earthly parent; who never leaves nor forsakes them, who has their best interests at heart, and will always take care of them, no matter what happens or does not happen in their lives - the One Christians  call our Abba Father in heaven. And that's the one essential thing in my life I cannot, must not, forget....the perfect love of God in Christ Jesus, that has been poured forth into my life just some 20 years ago when I was a very grown-up adult, that keeps me in perfect peace, right into in my old age, even when the whole world is being turned upside down, even when there are many other things I forget. 

"You keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." - Isaiah 26:3 

"Even to your old age I am He, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save." - Isaiah 46:4 

OF BIRTH(DAYS) AND DEATH

 It's been a week since I turned 3 score and 4 years old - that's 64, for those who don't know what's a score (=20). And if I add up 6+4 = 10, which biblically means God's authority, completeness, order, and divine perfection.  I like to take that as my life being ordered into the fullness of divine authority that God has blessed me with on this side of earth. Our family mode of celebrating birthdays is very simple; it's just a makan get-together with my brother praying over the one whose birthday is being celebrated. 

I left it to the young ones to decide where to eat, since I eat everything/anything. The watsapp discussions went back and forth; from steam-boat, to Japanese to Chinese. The steam-boat place was too far. The Jap place charged $100/pax to reserve a place for the 8 of us. (Ya, crazy.) So in the end it was the simple, comparatively cheaper Chinese open-air kopi-tiam round the corner of my house. Which was fine actually. This year the bday take was slightly different. There were 3 more added to our usual 5 in the immediate family -  my son-in-law (husband of no 2), back from US on his holiday break, and the 2 significant others of my no 1 and no 3, totalling 8. 8 is another number I like, coz it means a new beginning, a new order, a "born again" event. No, I am not "into" numbers to buy lottery tickets. It's just that many times God uses numbers to speak to me. 

As usual my brother did the honors to pray for the bday "girl", as a dearly-loved brother and a Pastor. Can't get better than that. But this time, I felt I should pray too; for  my bday wish. So it was I raised my petition to the One who sits enthroned in heaven and on earth, who knows all our hearts. I told God my one and only birthday wish was simply that as He had blessed me with my immediate family, He would rope in all who were seated at the table that nite to be in His family, and that all would be blessed to know Him personally. It did not matter to me what anyone thought of my prayer-wish. I had articulated it aloud in the physical and spiritual realms, declaring God's own desire to save all. 

I am very blessed. I not only received prayer, I got treated to a nice meal, and got nice gifts. Usually the uncle pays the makan bill, but this time, my eldest princess beat him to it. And on top of the big ang-pow from my generous brother, I also got another big-gie from the children -  a brand new handphone. My 1 year old Huawei was "ghosting" up - of its own accord, it would suddenly go haywire, switching screens by itself. 

I think it's the cat's fault -Maffin is always plopping his (big) head on hand-phones left lying around; must be the warmth of the screen. So now I am very careful not to let him near my new one. I also got a very nice big shawl from my son's girlfren and a yellow honey-dew melon from her mom. How sweet of them. I had been planning to get a new shawl, hopefully on my next trip to India, as the Pashmina shawl I now use is about 20 years old and kind-of tattered. The honey-dew came in very handy too as I had a prayer group pot-bless meeting a couple of days later. 

Indeed I felt very blessed by the love of my nearest, dearest and now extended family. The next day I met up with an old fren for lunch. We go back at least 10 years, when she was running a restaurant in the busy KL Chinatown area with her husband. I would sometimes visit them on my street ministry days to reach out to her workers. We kinda lost touch when her husband passed on from cancer. She had a tough time dealing with this and many other family issues. 

As much as I try to help, ultimately I know only God can mend broken hearts - and that only if we let Him. Some people are so disappointed why/how God could "let" bad things happen that they totally turn away, disgusted by a God who doesn't seem to care or have the power to do anything to prevent the bad from happening. That's not true; God always cares, but all humans have to go through the "wilderness" experience, when God seems to be absent. Jesus Himself went through it. No human is exempt from those tough times. I could only pray for this sister, that she wouldn't choose to turn her back on God. 

So I was really glad to be able to catch up with her again, after like some 4 or 5 years. In her own words, she went through hell. In 18 months, she lost 3 beloved family members, some time after her husband's demise. An elderly one died due to covid. Then a middle-aged relative succumbed to cancer exacerbated by covid. And the shocker was a young seemingly successful female relative who jumped from her condo building in the middle of the nite.  The worse part was my fren is  working in the funeral business, and she had to see to all the funeral arrangements for all of them.  There were tears in her eyes as she recalled how she had to piece together the body parts of the one who had committed suicide. I cannot imagine her pain. How did she cope? She said she had to hang onto God, for that was all she had to hang onto, in the end. I knew when she said that, she would be ok.  Truly we all grieve when death and suffering strikes. 

But in the midst of a very bad (and worsening) world, those who choose to believe the God of the Bible know He is good. Jesus Christ experienced everything that was bad in the human world. He knew hunger, pain, rejection, torture, and a horrible death on a cross. But out of the greatest bad, when He walked out of the tomb, fully alive, came the greatest good - for all of mankind. God through Christ proved there is hope and redemption beyond all the bad, beyond the pain, beyond death. My fren  went thru hell, but she has emerged alive and stronger. She is no longer angry or disappointed with God; she has His peace, which is truly beyond all human understanding. 

Yet she confesses she feels guilty because she isn't doing enough, as she is no longer involved in "church ministry" which she used to be so active in before. She is "only" in the funeral business, part of which entails communicating with bereaved family members. It's never easy talking about death, what more literally "handling" death.  I have to tell her it's not about church. Christians are so used to thinking of "ministry" as only applying to "church work." If we do things outside on individual basis on our own, without involving the "official" church , we think it's not counted as "ministry." I have to tell her that's a lie. I know many Christians who are quietly ministering to people around them. Like the sister who herself has health problems but still drives a neighbor out to pay an assessment bill. Or the lady who voluntarily uses her own 4WD to drive a group of Christians weekly all the way from KL to Johor, into orang asli villages situated deep in the interior. They are all volunteers, from different churches, different backgrounds. 

I am very sure God calls them His ministers, even if church may not count them as such, even if church doesn't know at all. Angels already recorded their deeds in heaven. These nameless faceless ones are not  preachers waxing eloquent from a pulpit, they may not be prayer warriors, banging on heaven's door 10 hours a day, they may not even know how to talk about Jesus to others. But they minister to those around them who are in need, just by loving others as Jesus did. So I tell this sister she doesn't need to compare with anybody else. She's doing ministry all right, where God has put her in the very midst of death, to give that last human touch of life to a dead body, she is caring for those left behind to mourn. 

As I think about this dear sister/fren who has seen and will continue to see death in all its ugliness, I thank God for birthdays. Birth-days are the direct opposite of death; birth is a celebration of life. I am especially thankful that for those who experience the "born again" life in Christ Jesus, death does not have the last say. 

"When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”...thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 15:55, 57