A HOUSE TOO BIG

It's the very first day of the new year 2024. And I am all alone at home. Just- officially-married no 2 daughter has been shuttling between houses, understandably to be with hubby at the in-laws, since he will go back to work overseas very soon.  No 3 son is out gym-ing, as is his almost daily routine. That means the usual Maggi mee dinner for just me. Some days I dish up some spaghetti or yee mee, but Maggie mee is as always still the easiest, ever "cepat di masak, sedap dimakan." Even Maffin the house-cat is nowhere to be found. 

Times like this, I understand fully what my opposite neighbor means when she tells me repeatedly her house is too big. She's a widow (like me), very rich (unlike me).  Her house is a double-storey corner lot, with a very spacious garden. Most of her life  was spent together with her husband at home, looking after a disabled son, totally paralysed from birth from neck down due to a hospital botch-up. The boy lived till his early twenties - that's a long time of care-giving. Then later the husband passed on. She has 2 other sons; one already migrated to US and the other living nearby, both busy with their own lives, having their own families. So she stays in her very big house with only a Filipino maid. They come and go according to the tenure of their service contract. 

She used to call me every evening. But it was never for long chats. She would just say hi and bye within 2 minutes, unless I chatted more. She said she just wanted to hear my voice, because she's got nobody else to talk to who understands. I tell her to call Jesus, she says she does, but it's not the same as talking to a human me. Nowadays I notice she's calling me less. I hope it's because she knows for a fact that no human can comfort her better than the Comforter, the Holy Spirit of Jesus Himself. 

Singles, widows/widowers, old/aging folks - we all go through this stage of life, when the places we stay in seem empty. Especially those with big houses. My double-storey house has got 3 rooms upstairs, 1 room downstairs, 3 toilets, a kitchen, hall, dining place, front and back yards. Most days I am the only one in it, apart from the cat who only knows how to eat and sleep, sleep and eat; and (naturally) grow fat. 

That would be a most easy life, but that's not for me. Much as I like to eat, I can't eat much these days. Maybe it's true that the human stomach grows smaller as we age. As for sleep, I am not the blessed kind who can sleep anywhere anytime. I really envy those who can just knock off into dreamland on buses, ferries, airplanes, who are not the least bit bothered with unfamiliar beds, new places. I can't even get 100%  good shut-eye every night on my own bed at home. But I shouldn't complain. At least I am not out on the streets this new year, like the street folks I serve.  At least I don't have floods, diseases, debts and a million cares (just some) to deal with. 

At least my children will always be...somewhere around. 3 years ago my eldest princess moved out.  Strange, it feels so much longer.  Her room downstairs is still pretty much untouched, except that it's empty of her personal stuff.  Then 2 years ago , it was my no 2 daughter's turn to leave the nest, even though it was just for 6 months overseas. But this time round it will be for good as once she gets her spouse visa, she leaves to join her hubby. Which is as it should be of course. I still have no 3 , but even when he's in the house,  it feels like he's not (Only moms will understand this.) Since he's doing his own thing, keeping his own times. Which of course is to be expected. After all, he's no boy but a grown man 30 years old already. 

Some 4 years ago, as I contemplated impending retirement, I told myself I would  travel round the world, go the places I have never been, do things I have never done. Thanks to Covid, I never got round to that. And by now the idea of travelling to exotic destinations no longer fires me up.  I haven't gone anywhere much, besides the nearby wet market and mall for groceries, places I have been going to for umpteen years. I think of the garden that needs watering and the cat that needs feeding, the hassles of packing/unpacking, hopping on/off planes, and the lazy me says, forget it. I stay entertained with online comics, laughing at Snoopy and frens, Calvin and Hobbes.  My son asked me once why I seem to be forever scrolling through Fb comics.  I answer because we all should have something to laugh about everyday, since the world can be such a sad place filled as it is with wars, floods, famines, violence, crimes and such like. 

So on the first day of 2024, I sit on my chair staring out at  the front garden, admiring the flowers blooming wild, as is my normal routine since retirement. I am reflecting on my own sermon preached the day before on the last day of 2023. I had been led to share on why God stopped the miracle of dropping manna from heaven on His people as they reached the end of their 40 years desert-wandering, having just stepped foot into the Promised Land. Christians grow up on a diet of miracles; our whole Bible is filled with miracles. And miracles are wonderful awesome inspirational manifestations of hope that keep us going, especially during tough times. That's all fine and good. But we can get stuck on wanting our own (pet) miracle, when God is wanting to do an absolutely new one that's way beyond what we can ever imagine, dream or even pray about. 

Many people, organizations, businesses would have made plans for 2024. Nothing wrong with planning of coz. Christians would have prayed for break-throughs, answers to long-standing prayers. Absolutely nothing wrong with that too; I do that all the time.  

Yet when I was preparing the sermon, the word I got was simply Re- Align. And I was led to a picture of car wheels being realigned; certainly an apt 

picture of what God's telling me for the year ahead. As Joshua had first to face  the Commander of the Lord's army, before facing the enemy, I am reminded it's not about my agenda, my wishes, my plans for 2024. Joshua questioned whose side the man with the sword standing in front of him was on.   

But as I learnt, the issue is never about whose side God is on; the issue is whether I am on God's side. I am the one who needs to get onto God's agenda, His wishes, His plans for me in 2024. It's  like my car. With all my driving around, without me realizing it, its wheels would have gotten mis-aligned, or maybe it's totally out of whack even. Likewise with me, I need to get back on track; to be re-aligned with the Master of my life, so I can journey on correctly and safely because He really has a fantastic destiny all mapped out for me in 2024 and even beyond.  

This morning I was up early for my normal exercise routine at the neighborhood park. Just as I stepped out of the house, I remembered I had to bring along my phone because I wanted to take a shot of the beautiful moon I saw the day before. So I had to get back into the house, grab the phone and with much anticipation as I reached the park,  I looked up, but lo, there was no moon. I was disappointed until

 I turned and suddenly saw the moon at a different spot altogether. Though it was clouded over, but it was there, nicely framed. And as I clicked the phone camera, it clicked in my head: things don't remain in the same old place all the time. I gotta shift when it's time to shift so I can see differently. Which also means I don't keep on doing the same  old thing the same old way. Like normally I don't take my phone with me when I go for my morning exercise, because I think it's such a bother. But I guess sometimes it's worth the effort to change routines...never know what new things are lying in wait for us to discover when we do it differently.        

 So, so what if I am all alone in a big house on the first day of a brand new year, when everybody else is celebrating (or not)?  The fact is that's the way it will be, not just on the first day of 2024, but likely on many days for as many years ahead as the good Lord preserves my life on this earth.  But the glorious happy truth is that it's just the house that feels empty. I need to shift paradigm to know it's not me who's empty, thank God. His word says it in Colossians 2:9-10  For in Christ all the fullness of God lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.... so I am complete-ly full.... Here's to a very full-of-God 2024. 

NO GREATER LOVE

The movie was already in its 2nd week run, so I thought there shouldn't be many people catching it on a weekday morning. But I was wrong, for the cinema was quite full, right up to the centre rows, with a mixed crowd of young and old from all races.  Guess all those awards Abang Adik garnered was a definite selling point.

Indeed it deserves all the accolades. Though I reckon it's a bit slow for those who prefer quick action fixes. But the acting, cinematography and music score is excellent. Kudos to our very own Msian Lay Jin Ong, for directing a masterpiece that every Msian can definitely relate to straight away. 

The realism of the scenes is commendable. Especially the hustle and bustle of Pudu wet market in the early morning, of laborers pushing big trolleys, chopping chickens, the plight of people who live "under the radar" of so-called normal civilized society - immigrants, undocumented, disabled, transgenders. The portrayal of typical PPR flats, police raids on illegals, down to government bureaucracy in applying for identity cards were all so realistically done. 

The lives of 2 men, simply named Abang, a deaf-mute and Adik, though they are actually unrelated, inter-twined with various characters flesh out the under-currents of social inequities and societal prejudices that are all too commonly known, yet hardly acknowledged and even less remedied. The story-line may be fiction, but the situations are very real and gut-wrenching; to know that such things are happening here and now in our midst. 

That's only the obvious parts which were good. What's not so obvious and very good is the rich tapestry of circumstances which gelled together in 2 hours filled with all manner of emotions that tugged at the heart -frustration, comedy, anger, fear, pain, desperation, hopelessness and most of all for me personally, love. How not to cry. 

The 2 brothers were perfect foils to each other.  Abang, every bit the responsible, upright, hard-working elder brother. Adik the "wild" one, always getting into trouble, impulsive, fool-hardy kid-brother.  Every family has both types. And like all families, when push comes to shove, the elder will stand up for the younger. That's what Abang does for Adik - he is always there for Adik; always meaning right to the end, even of life itself.  After all they only have each other for family, aside from a kind-hearted transgender with a "mummy" heart. 

One of the most memorable scenes I found especially touching, was the brothers dancing at her party. It flash-backed to when they were young, cracking cooked eggs on each other's foreheads, a ritual which spoke volumes of the special bond between them. So evocative was it when the younger Adik couldn't do it in the final parting scene, at Abang's last meal before his execution, I was sniffling like a baby. 

There was no need for mushy words. There was so much love demonstrated in action in the  simple things like Abang spending his hard-earned money to buy a scarf for his Myanmar girlfren and a shirt for Adik. The pathos hit hard when the scarf was never given for the intended; instead it just flew off carried by the wind, such an apt picture of Abang's life indeed gone with the wind.  And Adik pensively mending the tear in the shirt his brother bought just for him.  And photos of both taken for the purpose of applying for ICs clipped onto an old board in their run-down hole of a room. 

Of course the climax was the heart-rending cry of Abang, in his last moments as a death-row prisoner, hand-signaling "I just want to be loved"...and the hopelessness in his final "I want to die." As much as we may feel the heaviness of Abang's sentence, actually the issue of who ultimately caused the death of Jia En, the young social worker is deliberately left open. We will never know. What we do know is Adik was the one who started the messy tragedy.

As I see it, Jia En's role is rather under-stated. Hers may be a side role, confined to conversations about helping the brothers get their identity cards. But really, she was the one who loved to the utmost, to the extent of losing her own life at the hands of those she sought to help. Of course she didn't need to; she was from a totally different (read privileged) background. Hers was a totally different world from these marginalized folks. Yet she refused to back down, even in the face of antagonism from the very ones she was determined to reach out to.

Which reminds me so much of how Jesus came down from heaven - a totally different world - to save mankind, to give us back our identity and a life of true freedom. But unlike the honorable lady in the movie, who died unintentionally, Jesus willingly gave up His own life, to die hung on a cross, to break the hold of sin and death that all humans are condemned to, whether we believe or not. Whether we reject or receive Him. The love of Christ was never conditional upon our response. Just as Jia En kept on reaching out to the brothers despite being warned of the dangers. It wasn't because she had nothing else better to do; she did it because of a great love. 

So as much as the movie is about Abang and Adik, for me, it's also about this one character who was already killed off half-way through the movie. It begets the question why even bother to help such as these. But her efforts sown in love lived on right to the end and bore good fruit. For the one thing that triggered Adik's long-pended anger and violence was resolved. He finally sought out reconciliation with the human father who had abandoned him. I am so glad to remember our heavenly Father God has never abandoned any one of His beloved creation. Never has and never will. Instead He bothered enough to seek and save lost humanity through the redeeming work of Jesus Christ, so all can be reconciled to Him. As Jesus puts it "There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends" (John 15:13) 

I caught another locally produced movie much in the same vein. This one was totally free of charge, and I didn't even have to step out of the house as it's available on Utube.  Amazing that it's totally crowd-funded, and 100% Msian. The title itself Pendatang is provocative; as it's a known derogatory term, used on  certain races, even to this day, which is to our own shame, even as we talk so much about unity.  

Pendatang takes it to the other extreme - what can happen when people are segregated by ethnicity into tightly separated and controlled areas. Where daily curfews are imposed and food is rationed by armed patrols. And imprisonment awaits those who communicate with others "not their kind." The irony is it's a law  the people themselves voted in. The issue becomes one of life and death for a Chinese family and those who help them, having to deal with a Malay girl left behind on their (wrong) side.  The story-line may not be exactly tight, but the premise is indeed compelling, considering the race and religion issues that have been and still is the bane of Msian society. Like Abang/Adik, it's the play-up of the age-old  "we vs them who are different" dichotomy. Only in Pendatang it's ominous to even consider the probability of such an alternate dystopian world, where prejudices are literally enshrined in the force of law. But once again, there is redemption; when there are those who choose to do the right thing even when it costs their own lives, all for the sake of love for another, even if that other is considered an "enemy." So Pendatang ends on this essential issue of choice...will those of a different race not only accept but care for one who is an outsider, one who is "not of" their own?? Indeed the only antidote for hate is love, which is exactly what Jesus did, sacrificing His life so that a world at enmity with God may be saved from the punishment of the law of death. Indeed there is hope of a better world because...

"Love never fails..." 1 Cor 13:13