Friday, November 04, 2022

To All the Lonely

 It's been awhile since I last went to the movies. So when I caught sight of a trailer about a middle-aged woman who gets lost on a tour , I thought it would be nice to go catch it. I normally go see movies by myself. But this time I was so blessed my no. 2 daughter decided to accompany me. On top of that she acted as my personal shopper, not only bringing me to various outlets but paying for early Christmas presents... Now I have enough shoes to last the rest of my life.  

Ajooma (literally translated as "auntie") is a  Singapore-Korean production  which garnered 4 international nominations. The 61 year old leading lady is the first Singaporean to be nominated for best actress. She's very good as the widow who's into K-dramas who decides to venture out on her own after her one and only son backed out of their planned trip to Korea. 

The theme of loneliness comes out very strongly in the drama of her being stranded in a foreign land with an old security guard who 'rescues' her after the tourist bus accidentally leaves her behind. The Korean actor who played the young tourist guide with a messed up personal life adds some spice to what would otherwise be a film purely about a couple of elderly folks. 

There were 2 scenes which stood out most poignantly for me personally. One was when Ajooma moved outside to sleep on the couch beside her rescuer on the floor, taking out the heater from his bedroom (which he had offered to her) to share between them both. It was so touching, without a single word spoken. The other scene was the most mundane... when everyone in the tour had company of their own, but she was the only "lone ranger" wandering around by herself, helping to snap other people's photos.  Ajooma never lets on that she's lonely, but it shows when she opens up about a son who "doesn't talk much at home." It's obvious when she tells him that she needs to hang up because she's using some other person's phone, as he reveals he's not coming back to her but staying overseas with his male partner. I felt the loneliness  in the old guard too as he asks for some time alone after he buries his dead dog. But it's not just about the old. Loneliness shows up  in the young protagonist as he walks away after being prevented by an angry mother-in-law from seeing his wife and kid. 

The movie ends on an upbeat note though, drawing on the bonds these 3 people form between themselves in their  brief journey together. Ajooma dances experiencing her first snow-fall and finally catches up with her tour group to return home to live by herself, alone again naturally. But she now dares to do  her own thing and to enjoy it.  

It's very easy to relate to Ajooma  and the old guard who only has a sick dog for company. Especially for middle-aged folks whose children have either flown the family nest or have their own lives to live, even if they are still staying in the same house together. It's not that there's no love; but the reality is there are many lonely people around, even within the family circle itself. 

Like my neighbor who keeps inviting me to stay over with her, because she fears living in a big double-storey corner lot house all by herself with only the maid. Sure, she's a rich widow. Yes, she's got children who drop by every once in a while. But she's lonely. 

The other night I was out walking the streets of Chinatown in KL with my ministry team. So many folks, of all races, male and female, young and old, sitting on the  side-walks, along the LRT station passage-ways, sleeping on cardboards outside shuttered shops. I stopped to talk to an old man who was clutching a bag of goodies given out earlier by some NGO. Amazingly he stays in what is oft considered an affluent neighborhood with his spinster-sister, all the way in PJ. I ask him why he's wandering the streets at such a late hour like a homeless vagrant. He says he's lonely , and he's afraid of dying, because he watched another sister die of cancer. So he takes the public bus downtown and then back again to his house at night. I tell him no matter how lonely or how scared we humans can get, there's a God who loves us and has promised never to leave nor forsake us, who comforts us in our pain and fear. I tell him that's how I got to know Jesus 20 years ago. And that night another precious soul caught the truth that we can be alone, but we don't need to be lonely, when we receive the God who wants to keep us company, all the days of our lives. 

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” - Deuteronomy 31:8