Looking in all the wrong places for all the wrong things

Her name is E. She was late, they were already lining up to distribute the food. Hesitant to come right in, she was hanging around at the open end of the alleyway. I approached her to offer her a seat. She asked if her husband was inside, using a colloquial form of endearment for the term. I told her I wouldn't know which of the many men there was her husband, and suggested she eat first and then go in to find him. She smiled shyly, and sat down. After she had eaten the chicken curry rice, she asked me the same question. Again I said I wouldn't know, and told her to go  in to check.

When she didn't move, I sat down beside her. I was sure whoever she was looking for wasn't her husband.  The women I have met on the streets often 'get hitched' to one man after another; and call them all husbands anyway. I asked E was she happy living like this? She nodded vigorously. "I have freedom and my husband takes care of me," There was a child-like immaturity about her, even though she looked like she was in her early 30s.  A guy passed us by and must have heard us, for he shouted, "Ya, she got 3 husbands la. Which one she looking for now?" We didn't bother with him.

I asked E where she came from, and if she had family. She said Johor and spoke of an aunty she hated because she was 'very bad', for she had ill-treated, abused and tortured her from young, since her parents died when she was 12. She had been living on the streets a 'long' time after she ran away from the home they put her in. She talked about how she could now do whatever she wanted. As I listened to her story, E reminded me of the woman who met Jesus by the well, who had had 5 previous husbands and was then living with guy no. 6 who wasn't her husband.

Silently I prayed... God, I don't know what to say to a person who can't see the need to change. She actually believed she was happy. Come to think of it,  many of us are like E, we can so easily conclude we are happy simply because we are free to do our own thing, our way. live our own lives, without answering to anyone else. Like E, we don't realize we are just going round and round looking in all the wrong places for all the wrong things. Some of us find what we think is safety,satisfaction or security  in a career, some in money, some in a noble cause, some in themselves or other people. E finds nothing objectionable about exchanging sex for a little 'care and companionship' from men.  For that matter, I guess many people would agree with her on that one. After all you certainly don't need love to have sex .... E didn't mind being 'passed around' from man to man, with or without love... And that was when God whispered to me... tell her about My love.

I asked E if she thought herself beautiful. She frowned, not understanding my question, and then giggled when I asked again. So I told her the story of how God created us all beautiful and precious in His sight, to love and be loved in  relationships ordained by Him, to enjoy Him forever.  And then I introduced her to the greatest Lover of all - Jesus Christ. who, unlike all other lovers in our life, will never leave nor forsake us. I talked about how Jesus proved His love by dying on the cross for her, for me, for everyone, even tho we don't know Him. Her eyes widened at the thought. I guess she must be thinking it inconceivable that anyone - especially a stranger - could love her that much. And of coz I had to tell her why Jesus had to die as punishment for our sin. She shrugged nonchalantly when I talked about judgment, heaven and hell. So it is with many of us; who cares about all that unproven stuff. Still when confronted with the choice, she cared enough for herself to prefer heaven to hell.

To her credit, in all her simplistic thinking, E understood only Jesus who came from heaven could get her there. Once she caught on that He really is the most perfect, most fulfilling, most excellent love/lover of all, and was offering her the gift of Himself, she didn't hesitate to receive with an open heart. But uttering a prayer doesn't automatically transform a sinner into a saint overnight.

Will she change her ways?  I don't know. Just as I don't know if the woman at the well who met Jesus turned over a new leaf, because the Bible doesn't tell us. But what it does tell is that when  Jesus exposed all her  'colorful' past even though she tried to hide it , she recognized this was One who knew her through and through and yet didn't condemn her. Instead He had offered her 'living water' that would forever quench her thirst. The woman was looking only to satisfy her physical need;  Jesus was letting  her in on much much more - an experience of the reality of God . Finally this woman doesn't need to search anymore to fill the biggest void in life - her spiritual emptiness, something she wasn't even aware of until she met Jesus. Experiencing that kind of love must surely change a person inside out sooner or later.

So it is with E. It may have taken her  awhile to understand that even if no one on earth loves her, even if all the men in her life use or dump her, there is One who never deserts her, who loves her like no human ever can. Now because she has called upon the name of Jesus, not only will He walk with her all the days of her life, He sets her truly free to be the beautiful person that God had designed her to be, more than she could ever be by and in  her own independence. I know it's true, and it works, because the same promise was given to me when I believed, and is being fulfilled every day of my life, as  I continue to trust the One who calls me His beloved.

"The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing" -  Psalm 145:14-16

Left Behind

I'm not gonna die here. And so the hero starts making sure he doesn't die. The Martian on Mars is no  alien creature. He's human. And like all humans pushed into a corner, survival instincts get him going when the going gets tough. A critic called the movie Robinson Crusoe in space, which is indeed rather apt. The whole story revolves around an astronaut accidentally stranded all alone on the Red Planet, after a fierce storm forces his crew members to leave him behind for dead. He's got to figure out firstly, how to keep himself alive in a hostile environment and secondly, how to communicate to earth that he is indeed alive and needs rescue.

The movie garnered many good reviews. Indeed it's an enjoyable romp, for the hero is alternately portrayed as funny and desperate. To be able to crack jokes in the face of death gets us rooting for him to make it. Still I found his antics and his monologues a bit wearisome after awhile. Maybe it's because  I just don't think it's all that great to plant potatoes with human poo, or burn hydrogen and oxygen to get water. I like my heroes involved in lots of whammy eye-popping, nail-biting, breath-stopping action stuff. My kind of hero is bigger than life....like my God. I guess there wasn't enough of that in this movie for me.

Still it did cause me to wonder at the tenacity of man for self-preservation and our pride in  human achievement. The hero can boast, " I am the greatest botanist on this planet," obviously since there is really no other competitor around. It's meant to be funny, but what's so funny about an empty boast? He claims to 'colonize' Mars by planting crops on its terrain, but what good does that do, when he's seemingly going to die anyway? Take away the attempt at  humor; it becomes meaningless arrogance, a psychological booster to deal with depression. 

And that's the nature of man essentially.  We think we are so smart, we can solve all life's problems through science and self-effort.  Sure, we can and there's nothing wrong with that. After all our brains are wired to be used to think. But after all the thinking and tinkering, hero Martian must still depend on others  to get him  home.

At one point or another in our lives, we are gonna realize there's only so much we can do to not die. We are gonna realize  human ingenuity and science are limited in their own scope. It can answer questions of the head, but never questions of the heart, simply because they are 2 different things. At the climax of the rescue mission, dear hero had absolutely no control over anything anymore. In a last desperado act, he had to puncture his protective suit, trusting that would propel him into the path of his 'savior' - the one who was reaching out to him - his Commander dangling from a rope out of the rescue vessel to catch him. If she missed, he would be off floating forever in infinite space.  So who's the real hero really? 

I guess that's a lot like how we treat God. Back years ago when I was a smart-aleck earning a comfortable amount of dollars,  happily settled with the man I loved, seemingly complete with children, a home, and content with the easy life, I had absolutely no need of God. I was in control of my life, and of course I swore I would have it no other way.  I may not be the greatest whatever on this planet, but I was pretty sure I could handle anything and everything my way. Until death came knocking. It didn't take me, it took the one I loved.  That was the cruncher which broke self-sufficient me - to finally admit, I have no control over my or anyone's life for that matter. If it were not for the grace of an unseen God who loves me in spite of my pride, I would not be where I am now, saved and secured in something much much bigger than myself. As in how it  takes just 1 storm to destroy all the hero's hard labor in his potato space-garden, we never know what will hit us till it comes..

And the final 'it', the ultimate challenge, all mankind must face is always death, which really is a lost battle for us on this side of earth. The hero in the movie recognized that fact, "None of this matters at all if I can't find a way to make contact....." And for his rescue to succeed, he had to accept, obey and trust the instructions of another - the one who cooked up the plan in the first place. It was a crazy plan which involved him having to dump everything except the chair he was sitting in, and  lift off without even a roof over his head, relying solely on a hope that somehow 'they' would be able to catch his drifting vehicle as it hurtled out of Mars space.

Isn't that so like God? He cooks up an incredulous plan that involves Jesus dying for us so that we don't get left behind in death and instead get taken home all the way to heaven to live forever. Home. A place that conjures up all manner of good things. A place to curl up our feet.  A place where we are welcomed and loved. Who wouldn't want to go home? Yet, God's plan sounds too crazy, too easy, too good to be true. For unlike the movie hero, we don't need to scratch our brains, stretch our muscles, apply science or depend on logic. We don't even have to figure out a way of trying to communicate the problem of our existence. The solution was given and proven 2015 years ago when Jesus walked out alive from the tomb of death.

I don't need to worry if God will somehow 'miss' catching me; He will not let death swallow me up. I am very sure I will get home because He has promised it. All that's required of me is to put my life into His hands; believing  I will never be left behind....


Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. - John 14:1-3