No More Surprises

My daughter showed me a video clip about a group of youths who refused to translate a racist message to a foreigner who got it on his handphone. It was all a social experiment set-up to 'test' people's reaction. She found it 'heart-warming' that there are people, perfectly ordinary people, who would be so considerate of and to a foreigner. There was a similar one done earlier which featured a group of M'sians who steadfastly refused to 'act' racist when they were called for (set-up) auditions. Indeed it is good to know there are still people who 'just know' it's not 'nice' to be racist, whether in thought, word or action.

But something rankled me inside. It was as if we don't expect people to be 'nice' anymore, so when some do behave 'nicely' to others, we find it rather surprising or heart-warming. Something must be terribly wrong with us if we have reached the stage where we are surprised by people who choose to act right, talk decent or behave responsibly. Aren't these supposed to be the norm, rather than the exception? Isn't it a rather sad indictment on Malaysian society that by now I am no longer surprised at what the Auditor-General reports churn out year after year. Neither am I surprised at the way our politicians behave or don’t behave in Parliament.

My daughter's comment that she is not surprised anymore about our one-of-a-kind IGP finding nothing wrong with a bunch of folks demanding the removal of a cross from a small church also piqued me. I agreed with her, even as I wondered how is it we are not surprised anymore by this type of thing? Or are we the only ones who sense something not 'quite right' here? Aside from the issue of legality, the point protested was obviously religious in nature. These days in Malaysia, it's all about the 3 R's. (No prizes for guessing what they are)

It's no longer a surprise that I can't even mention the name of my God in a certain language in some states. Nor is it a surprise to read about some convoluted rules and regulations  which would quite obviously send all concert artistes down to our dear neighbor across the causeway.  It doesn't help that the creators of those rules admit quite honestly they aren't for enforcement, 'just' for guidelines. Why should I be surprised that some people would draw up 100 commandments that other people can absolutely not obey? So  I guess I shouldn't be surprised, as a fellow Christian commented, even if there are actually people who can get so shaken up by a lifeless cross hanging on a window pane.

And before I am accused of  high-lighting only a certain race or religion, let me add  (to my shame) that  my own kind can be equally 'unsurprising', as evidenced by another video-clip I saw, where a person who was  in the wrong, having entered someone's else right-of-way,  had the audacity to berate the innocent chap for nearly knocking into his car. The wrong-doer was calling the one in the right animal names and referring to 'your father's road' in vernacular, which really is just plain obnoxious rude. My son also told of an apparent gang attack on a guy at a mall who addressed another of a different race as a certain animal.  What is it about animal names that we are so fond of attaching to human beings whose skin pigmentation is different from ours? I wouldn't be surprised it's probably because our human brains have all regressed to the stage of animal brains that we find some deep-seated primeval satisfaction in such name-calling. Or maybe it's because we have become animals ourselves, and it takes one to know one.

What's there to be surprised anymore? After all my Bible already talks of people just doing what is right in their own eyes, calling evil good and good evil. And that was way back then a long long time ago. For all the progress mankind is supposed to have made, it seems we are still carrying on exactly like our ancestors.  So it comes to a stage where we expect people to behave badly and the surprise is when someone does the right thing instead.

But shouldn't it be the other way round - that right is right and normal, and wrong is wrong and ab-normal? Whilst it's perfectly ok to like all those Fb postings and video-clips about 'heart-warming' episodes where humans actually behave like decent reasonable intelligent humans, and not animals (surprise, surprise), regrettably we seem to have forgotten that's the way it was always meant to be. In the Bible, God pronounced the world and the first human couple that He had created 'very good'. I wonder would God say the same thing today, looking at what and how we have become.

I am musing... will there come a day when in addition to having to refrain from using certain words to worship my God, I may have to hide the little cross that hangs at the entrance of my house in case I am accused of being insensitive to my neighbors of different faith. Although they have never, in so many years we have been neighbors, raised a squeak even though they see it as they walk by everyday. Now isn't that a surprise?

Still, who knows, one day,  I may no longer even have a church to go to.  After all, Jesus Himself already warned, "Everyone will hate you because of Me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." (Mark 13:13) It's a sobering thought, but I take heart, my God is never surprised. So honestly... I shouldn’t be surprised at anything anymore.

Published MMO 21/4/15

Second Chances

It was a day and nite of second chances. God answers prayers, even those I have stopped praying for, even when I am of little faith. Uncle J had disappeared from my life some 5 months ago, leaving me with a bad 'hang-over' case of regret (http://convent76.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-tears-of-god.html) Now and then I would pray about it again, asking God to please bring him back so that I could make amends personally. Not that I doubted God's forgiveness, but it was uncle J I wanted forgiveness from, so that if I dropped dead suddenly, I wouldn't have an 'unfinished business' left on earth. After so long, I have to confess I really didn't have much hope in that prayer anymore. But as always, God is faithful even when I am faithless. 
That Saturday as my eyes scanned the 'street' folks seated under the make-shift awning in the alley where our weekly feeding of the poor was conducted, I almost jumped for joy when I saw him. For a second, I wondered if my eyes were playing tricks on me, for the guy seated at the far end seemed thinner than the uncle J I knew. But as I neared his seat, he waved and smiled at me - there was no mistake. It was him. So finally I got to say what I had to say. This time my tears were tears of joy at having been given a second chance by God and by man.


That nite, I joined some 13,000 people packed into Putra Stadium to hear a man talk about his trip to hell. Our small group of 5 were already late starting out from church. We were told to go upstairs when we arrived at the counter, but every door was already closed. There were young ushers around, but they all said no more seats available. So we simply 'door-crashed' into one of the closed entrances and found ourselves on the top gallery, at the centre rear, with a bird's eye-view of the entire stadium. What's more, somehow, we had ended up at the right place after all - at the Bahasa M'sia section, and directly behind the other 5 of our church members who had arrived an hour before. I have no doubt God's angel must have directed us to that particular entrance, late as we were. It didn't matter we had to sit on the stairs. When the worship started, no one was sitting anyway; for it was an ear-splitting, eye-popping and feet-stamping joyful exuberant noise.


What made it different from the typical pulsating psychedelic pop concert was simply the object to which it was directed; not to bring pleasure to man, but to God, the Originator of music. Like the preacher said, it's not about the show, the music or the lights; it's all about Jesus. Then he started talking about hell for 1 1/2 hours. Man. What a topic. My ears, and I am sure, many other ears, were tingling by the time he finished. People always think Christianity is all about love and heaven. Hell is never a popular topic; in fact it's downright taboo to some. Yet here is this guy going into excruciating detail about how he was literally taken on a tour by Jesus to that dreaded place many years ago. And no, he didn't have to die to get there. That's why he's still around talking about it, to anyone and everyone who would listen. It's obviously not a pretty story.

We can argue all we want about the theory of God. But no one can argue with someone's  personal experience. We can only choose to believe that his testimony is true or write him off as a crazy nut-case. And just like God, if it's the truth, it's the truth, irrespective of our belief anyway. Especially when he roars out repeatedly our blood is on our own heads if we don't want to listen. Put point blank another way - if God keeps telling us that He loves us and doesn't want us to go to hell, yet we choose not to believe Him, then we deserve to be doomed. We can't say we have not been warned. It is as simple as that. There's no doubting the preacher's seriousness; no one would go down on his knees in a public stadium filled with thousands of strangers to beg for their souls, unless he cared... a lot.

From my vantage point, that nite, I watched in amazement as more than a thousand people surged forward when he ended with a call to  believe and receive Jesus Christ, the only One who can rescue man from hell.  As I looked down row upon row upon row of people who had dared step out to grab the second chance at life which God was offering that nite, my heart was bursting; even as the strains of the familiar hymn filled the air ... "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound...that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.. My chains are gone, I've been set free....My God, my Savior hath ransomed me....and like a flood, His mercy reigns...unending love, amazing grace... "

Second chances - that's what my God specializes in. And all that's required of us is to believe and take it.
  
Jesus said,

"I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" - John 10:9-10

I Want to Believe

ZaZa has feline HIV. After racking up a huge bill for medication, injections, special cat food and changing vets, finally they tell us that's the most probable diagnosis. I thought my kid was kidding when she announced it over dinner time. HIV? I know animals can get cancer, but HIV?....gee, we learn new things everyday. My next thought was how did she get it? Ok, granted ZaZa has always been a wild one; once she went missing in action for about 2 months, then reappeared at our door-step, thin, scraggly and bearing wounds of 'street-battles' she must have gotten into. Of all our 3 cats, ZaZa is the one who most epitomizes the "I am queen, you are subject" syndrome to us; she does what she wants, not what we want.
Now I know how humans get HIV, but cats? My mind was thinking....all those night wanderings of hers; but she has been neutered...does she still 'do it'? Shows how ignorant I am, but thank goodness for Google. Unlike humans, feline HIV hasn't got anything to do with sex. Like human HIV, there's no cure, though it can't spread by contact; in fact, humans can't get infected from cats. That's a relief but it's no comfort really because it means ZaZa is dying.

My no. 2 princess wondered aloud, does ZaZa know she's dying? I dunno.  What happens to cats when they die? I dunno. My Bible doesn't talk about animal heaven or hell. Those 2 places are reserved only for the human race apparently. Whatever, I am sure animals are a lot less complicated; they don't need to ponder such weighty matters like eternity, sin, love, death.

I see our youngest (young as in 30 human years old) cat Maffin  literally having a ball-of-a-time everyday. He's active and frisky...well, as a cat...he gets into everything and everybody's way. He lies right in the middle of the road as if he's king, quite oblivious of something called cars. He can't wait for me to open the door, but squeezes through the grills. He boldly pokes his nose into the other cats' food bowls. He can't be bothered even when ZaZa hisses and swipes a territorial paw at him. Heck, he even chews the plant in the pot.

Isn't that so like humans too... when we are young, as long as we are reasonably healthy, we can 'go wild';  we don't have a care for anything, except food to eat, money to spend, pleasures to enjoy. We think we are invincible. Until something happens, like a plane which disappears into thin air. Like a helicopter crash.  Like people chopping off other people's heads in the name of religion. Like a healthy friend getting cancer. Like a much-beloved old pet dying. Times like these shock us and remind us life is really very frail; at least for a short while, however rich, clever or independent we think we are.  But the shock is usually momentary, since it's always happening to 'others'; it's like the news, good only for that day or as long as it's still news-worthy.

Until one day the 'it' happens to us. Then only it hits hard enough to hurt personally, and then only, it hurts real bad. That's when we are forced to ask the hard questions of life. Top of the list is the "Why" question. Why me? Why like this? Why, God?  It's as if we all think we are entitled to a trouble-free life, and if something bad happens, it means either there is no God, God isn't good, or God is no use. How presumptious and facile humans can be. We can accept lots of things we can see and explain as real. But the minute we are asked to accept a God we can't see and can't explain away, we don't want to believe.

It took the dying of my husband before I believed. Only when I suffered, then I knew God is real. My husband himself was at the very brink of death's door before he believed; he spoke of standing in the middle with 2 armies, each trying to pull him over to their side. Hallucinations of a man dying of cancer? Or the reality of the spiritual realm being opened  in the last moments of every human life? I venture to think God could ask us a few Why questions Himself like Why do we want to wait till suffering or death strikes before we will believe Him? Why do we insist God must prove Himself? I figure for all our excuses - and there are many which sound perfectly reasonable even - it's not really that we can't believe; it's rather we just don't want to believe in something/ someOne we cannot control, because we want to be masters of our own destiny.
 
The only problem with that is we aren't really. We can shout and claim all we want that we are free, that it doesn't matter whether God exists or not, since we all die anyway.  But refusal to acknowledge the possibility that we can be (very) wrong means effectively we are imprisoning ourselves. I don't want a freedom that ends up in me being short-changed and missing the real thing. The wisest king who ever lived said, " There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." (Proverbs 14:12)

I want to believe God because I believe there is something called justice. If there is no heaven no hell, no God to answer to, it doesn't matter how anyone lives; bad and good would have no meaning. We can say or do whatever we want, hurt or even kill one another, we can cheat and steal whether it's  $1, $1000 or $1 million. It doesn't matter anyway if we are free to escape the consequences of our action or inaction, if death is all there is to life.  But we know instinctively that can't be right, because some things are just plain wrong. We don't need a God to tell us that. The obvious corollary to that is whether we admit it or not, we need a God to see true justice done ultimately. Because a look at what's happening in the world around us will show up the futility of depending on man to do justice. Something innate in us demands justice be done. And man fail miserably at dispensing it.

If I believe in justice, I cannot not believe there is a God who will ultimately justify all that man can't. So that even if right now, wickedness and evil seems to triumph on this earth, there is no escape of an after-life that all must confront and be confronted with.  If I don't want to believe, it simply means I am living in denial and in rejection of the only hope that life on this earth must count for  all that is good, right, true and just.

Most of all I want to believe God because only He can love like He does, unconditionally. There's no other love so powerful so pure that proves itself by literally dying for all who don't deserve it. It blows my mind that God would choose me as His beloved; that He doesn't just claim or say He loves me, but goes all the way to hang on a cross to show me its extent and reality. No one can love me that much. If I believe in love, I cannot not believe in a God who is Love.

I don't want to live without hope. I don't want to live without experiencing the freedom of  the highest noblest truest love of all. The world is depressing enough as it is. Hope keeps me trusting there is something better, something more than just death waiting to swallow me up. Love guarantees I am forgiven, sinner that I am .

I don't know if my cat knows, but I  know that when I die, my life isn't reduced to just a here-today-gone-tomorrow obituary in the newspaper. I know I am saved and safe, held in the hands of a God who is all justice and all love.

 "Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne; love and faithfulness go before You" - Psalm 89:14