Sunday, January 04, 2015

How much, God?


Short of being accused of blasphemy, I am wondering how much does it take to 'buy' God? I agree, like someone apparently reasoned, $200k seems kinda cheap to calm him down and get him to lay off Malaysia. If only it were that easy...if only God can be 'bought' with our good deeds, noble intentions, money (real or otherwise),  repeated offerings of sheep, goats, sweet cakes and dumplings or even prayers so he can close 1 eye (preferably both eyes) to all our shenanigans and sin, and bless us, bless us, bless us. So we can go ahead and make more money, buy more houses, sheep, goats, clothes, shoes, whatever (I am sure you get the drift), and suffer no pain, sickness, natural (or unnatural) disasters on land, sea or in the air. So all our problems and especially our enemies (ie the people we don't like next door, in the office, on the street, or wherever) can somehow disappear from our lives, and the balance people remaining on planet earth will be all just like us  -‘ sama-sama jenis ‘ - think, dress, talk, eat, worship the same way. Life would be so much simpler, so much more pleasant definitely. So, how much, God, for all that? Oh, and don't forget to throw in the heaven part. That's the whole package, and if we can bypass death, even better.

Sorry, I don't mean to make light of serious matters like God. And God is serious, about serious matters like evil, sin, and repentance but happily He's also serious about blessing us. A dear sister-in-Christ asked me pointedly as we bumped into each other outside church after the countdown to 2015, "How come everything's so dark and there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel? All these bad things happening...why?" Ahhh, the million $ question to God - why? Some people get so fed-up they stopped asking the question, some even to the extent that they stop believing in God altogether. Heck, I don't know why, even if anyone is nuts enough to spend $200k on me. Hallo, if I knew, I would be god.

And if I were god, I would simply banish all the world's evil with 1 lightning stroke, wipe out all the suffering on this earth and usher everyone into 'happily-ever-after' land when they breathe their last. Never mind all the sin part. Humans will be humans, and so long as we say sorry, be as good as we can as long as we can, it's enough. Let bygones be bygones. God must be 'nice'; He is love after all, no? If I knew why bad things happen, I would be able to offer something more substantial than prayers to those grieving for the death of loved ones or those whose lives seem to be just one long dark never-ending tunnel of despair. But like Philip Mantofa, the Indonesian pastor who lost 41 church members  (out of the total 162 on board ) when flight QZ8501 crashed, said in an interview, "Some things do not make sense to us but God is bigger than all this....God is not evil. Help us God to move forward even though we are surrounded by darkness".

Nope, the God I know isn't 'nice'. He doesn't explain things, though I am sure He can. Someone put it succinctly - God is in charge, He alone rules. He certainly gives mankind absolute freedom to acknowledge Him as God, but once we choose to do so, it's either Him or us who is on the throne; we can't have it both ways, half-way or three-quarter way. He demands the utmost self-denial of everyone who believes because it is intrinsic that if there is a God, He must be bigger, smarter and more powerful than us; so He should know best. I am sure that rankles us no end and is probably the one major reason why we don't want to believe or acknowledge there is a God. Why on earth should anyone want to submit, obey and be under the rule of a Being who does what He wants, when He wants and how He wants anyway , especially when it's quite liable that in the process we suffer inexplicably. Submission, whether to God or to each other, has become a dirty word.

 Yet for all our declarations that we don't need any god, it's really quite an irony how many 'gods' we have set up to 'worship' in our world. Of course we don't call them gods; we attach nice-sounding names to them like Independence, Freedom, Knowledge (not recognizing it's God who bestowed it upon us in the first place). We fall at the altars of self, money, sex and power. And we like these gods, because they make us feel good about us. After all that's what a god is supposed to do if He is a loving god.

The God I know is love but unfortunately He isn't in the business of making me or anyone 'feel' good, great, strong or smart. The God I know is very definitely a God of justice, who will see to it that I will reap what I sow, be it good or bad, sooner or later.  In fact the more I get to know this God, the weaker I realize I am, because I see how many things I will never understand, much less control, on this side of earth.  The flip side of it is I realize how awesome God is. After all, who am I to tell Him how to run the universe, when I wasn't even there at its creation? How can I simply assume He isn't good or is plain useless just because bad things keep happening? That's really rather presumptuous when I don't hold eternity in the palm of my hand. I can't even guarantee I will wake up to another sun rise tomorrow.

It's come to such a stage the more I know, the less I know God. It's like a love affair that tantalizes, drawing one deeper and deeper into the adventure of life. I can't figure God out; actually I don't think I, or anyone else, is meant to.  I am just asked to believe that He loves us for the simple reason He created us, not because we are good, beautiful or smart.  Arising out of that belief, I am to trust He does all things for good, even if they appear so very bad. I can cry, sulk, rage, walk away, maybe even throw a couple of stones at heaven when things are not going how I think they should go in  my life or in the world; my God can take that. After all, He already had all that and more done to Him when He visited earth 2000 years ago. If ever I doubted God's love or His goodness, I just have to look to the cross of Calvary. No further explanation is necessary in the face of death willingly suffered, the most precious Life willingly given up for all mankind to pay the price for our lives. How can I not respond to such a great love, to such a great God? What other response can there be except to love Him because He first loved  me? 

Nope, money, gold, or silver can't buy my God, nor can any amount of good deeds or social action. Only one sacrifice apparently moves Him - a broken heart and a contrite spirit He will not despise. That's the difficult part; because it requires admittance of who we (really) are and who He is. A heart that should recognize and be sorry how we have messed up the earth and ourselves, turning away from the One who loves us so much and turning to other loves in this world which will never fully satisfy.  When we are willing to so humble ourselves before an Almighty God, although life may seemingly be just a confusing labyrinth of long dark tunnels, there is always enough light to travel by. In fact the good news is we don't have to keep craning our necks to see if there is light at the end of the tunnel (that's actually the wrong place to look). We certainly don't need $200k to organize a grand 'pow-wow' to shake heaven and earth. 

Sometimes we just miss the forest for the trees; God isn't ' out there' somewhere. When I chose to believe, He is already right here, walking with me all the way through to the end. He will not let me go, even if I let go. His light burns within me; that's why I too can shine as a child of light, in the midst of darkness, reflecting His glory to a world full of dark tunnels.

- For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory.....- 2 Corinthians 4:6

Published MMO 3/1/15