Call Me....Fanatic

Here we go again. After being 'complimented' for being mad, I was thrown another brick-bat by no less than a Christian who cautioned me against becoming a fanatic. Hmmm. So I looked up the etymology of the word. Apparently it stems from "fanaticus" which in Latin means enthusiastic, frenzied, inspired by a god, originally pertaining to "temple" (fanum) thus linking it to religion. In its modern form, fanaticism is frequently related to obsession, erratic or unreasonable behavior as a result of very strong religious or political beliefs. On a less serious note though, informally, a fanatic also describes a person who is devoted to a particular hobby, activity or pastime, as in the shortened form "fan" of a sports team, rock star or even a consumer product.
Well, if that's the case, I am fanatical all right. Even from way back in the 'good ole days', I was a big-time fan-atic of all the regular pop and movie idols. My room walls were plastered with their posters, I crooned along to their songs, bought cheap matinee tickets to see their movies and all in all, behaved like a typical ditzy teenager. But I don't think that's what my dear brother meant when he talked about being a fanatic; he probably meant someone like John the Baptist who lived more than 2000 years ago......a most colorful character who lived in the wilderness, wore clothing made of camel’s hair, had a leather belt around his waist, and ate locusts and wild honey. I always imagine John to have long, smelly, hair, a flowing beard, fire in his eyes and a voice that thundered his 1 message "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near”. He wasn't into pleasantries and had really bad manners, calling the crowds who had come to see him a "brood of vipers" (Matthew 3:4, Luke 3:7). He announced the arrival of Jesus Christ as the "One who takes away the sin of the world....who is more powerful than I , the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie..." For daring to speak up against a king's evil deeds, he ended up in prison and was beheaded on the whim of a dancing girl who happened to be the queen's daughter (Mark 6:22-27). True blue fanatic, yet of him, Jesus said, "I tell you, among those born of women there is no one greater than John." (Luke 7:28). Huh, what gives??  Fast forward 2000 years later...

I know of 2 dear sisters who never miss a chance to talk about Jesus Christ anywhere anytime. They are so direct they have no qualms in asking complete strangers 'Do you know Jesus?' just like that. Nope, they don't brandish Bibles or dangle crosses into people's faces; quite the contrary, they just smile the brightest of smiles as they wait politely for a response. I also recall a cell-mate who had occasion to visit some European country relating how he saw a chap standing at a street corner holding up a placard proclaiming "Repent, for the end is near". He said his first impression was that this guy was a religious fanatic - there's that word again. But then later he felt a little ashamed, because truth be told, he would never dare to be as bold as this chap who stood out in the cold, all alone, being stared at, ignored and scorned by passers-by. This modern John the Baptist didn't say anything, he wasn't hurting anyone, at least not physically,  but I am sure almost everyone would agree he is an obvious fanatic. Yet objectively speaking, looking at it another way, surely he was just trying to get people's attention to something he felt deeply about, albeit expressing it in very dramatic fashion.

So, is that 'obsession, unreasonable or erratic behavior'? Well, it's odd-ball, that's for certain. But is expressing my belief in a manner not quite acceptable to prevailing social norms wrong, when there is no force, violence or compulsion used in the process? Isn't that just a variation of the much-vaulted freedom of individual expression? Besides what's so wrong about being obsessed with something good/right, and going all out to share it with everyone else, even if not everyone agrees that it is so? To me, good news is like good food - if I know of some place offering yummy-licious food, I want to make it known to everyone. Whether people want to go there to find out for themselves if it's that good is up to them ultimately. Anyway if the message really is the truth, even though it's downright unpalatable and disagreeable to the vast majority, is it wrong to stand up for it? If I know there's an insidous invisible super-virus that inhabits everyone which will ultimately kill us , surely I am duty-bound as a compassionate fellow human being to sound the alarm, since I myself have been healed, even if no one else believes or even desires to be cured. 

I am no John the Baptist. I don't stand at street corners carrying doomsday placards or call people snakes or other animal names (animals are animals, people are people). I wear only 1 outward obvious sign that I am a Christian, and that's the cross my husband bought me before he passed on (I like to think of it as his going-away present before we meet up again in heaven). But I do believe the world, as we know it,  is going to end, I do believe bad news shouldn't be glossed over- that unless one repents and gets right with our Maker before we die, there really and literally is hell to pay. I also believe there is good news which must and should be shared at every opportunity - the news that was first proclaimed long ago by a fanatic named John - that Jesus came to seek and save, and that He will come again soon.  I believe not because I have some magic crystal-ball that shows me the past, present and future, but simply because God said so in His Word. It's the same message that is being continously proclaimed all over the world today by... well, fanatics who really can't be bothered much about what the world chooses to think about them, since they are basically focused on only 1 essential thing  -  to pass on the good news of Jesus Christ to as many as they can reach in their lifetime on earth.

Winston Churchill apparently said, "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." Well, believing what I believe based on my own personal knowledge, I can't change my mind about Jesus  because He has proved good, great and faithful to me all these years. And I can't change the subject , because to keep quiet about so awesome a love, so wonderful a life available through so gracious a Savior is totally irresponsible and reprehensible. So I guess if being all 'souled-out' for Jesus, wearing my heart out on my sleeve for Him, for all the world to see and hear makes me fanatic, then I absolutely agree and gladly confess- a fan of Jesus I am and ever will be.

"...We too are only human, like you. We are bringing you good news, telling you to turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made the heavens and the earth and the sea and everything in them..." (Acts 14:15)

The Highest Compliment

What would be the highest compliment that anyone could ever pay you? Would you settle for the greatest..prettiest..smartest..richest..sexiest..strongest..wisest..
whatever-fill-in-the-blank?? How would you like to be called mad instead? Mad, according to the online definition, means mentally ill or disturbed, deranged, insane, demented, disordered. Certainly not complimentary at all. A king once called Apostle Paul "insane" for talking about a certain dead man walking. (Acts 26:24-25) The Greek word used in the Bible means to be mad, to rave, as in the case of one who so speaks that he appears to be out of his mind, literally translated as to be beside oneself. To which Paul calmly replied, "I am not insane, most excellent (King) Festus...What I am saying is true and reasonable".

The other day, someone implied that I am mad, for the same reason Paul was called mad, that I always talk about a certain dead man walking. She said she hated that church had turned me 'nuts' about religion, her objection seemed to be that I could believe in a God so cruel that He would send people to hell for not believing that dead man, or something to that effect. I was very offended at first. In the first place it wasn't church which had turned me 'nuts'. I made a personal, informed, deliberate and purposeful decision to believe in the existence of God, in particular I chose to believe Jesus Christ as my Lord and my God. It wasn't as if I had no doubts or questions about a lot of things about Christianity, neither was my decision based on an 'emo' ting, although my emotions are definitely involved. But it certainly wasn't 'religion','church' or 'people' who "brain-washed" me. It wasn't even force of circumstance in facing the death of my husband, though that event was certainly the catalyst, so to speak, that sparked off my spiritual journey which began 12 years ago. This has turned out to be a journey that continues everyday that I live on this earth. One that has taken me to mountain-top 'highs' and deep valley 'lows', that has enriched my days with joy unspeakable amidst the uncertainties of life in a messed-up world, bearing the hurt of broken dreams and the pain of unspoken sorrows. I am just someone very ordinary and I dare say, normal. After all I have good and bad hair days, like everyone else. I laugh, cry. I get angry, I fail, I say things I regret. Some things I get all wrong. But some things I get right too.

And the one thing that I am glad I got right is my relationship with God. So does choosing willingly  to submit to One I recognize and acknowledge as the Creator, Sustainer and Preserver of my life make me mad? Does a passion to talk of and share the good news about Jesus Christ, whom I believe (after all due consideration) died and rose again, make me mad? Is it mad to spend my days loving God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and trying to love others as He commanded me to? People have believed and done madder things surely.

Mad is for people who blindly follow without question, like the members of the Jim Jones cult, who committed mass suicide believing he was the messiah who would lead them to some utopia land of bliss. Mad is when you think it's ok to drop bombs on people in the belief that that will buy you a ticket straight away to paradise. Mad is for those whose minds become so indoctrinated that they turn into puppets or robots without personal dignity, without the privilege or even desire to think and ask questions. Undoubtedly, I am enthusiastic and zealous about my faith, but that doesn't mean I have lost my ability and capacity to think. I still retain my will to say yes or no to God. The fact that I can still disobey Him shows very clearly I have not 'lost' my mind and have complete freedom to decide if I really want to trust Him with my life. Deciding to go against the grain of the world, refusing to let it squeeze me into its own mold of conformity, choosing to believe (tho I may not understand and can't prove) there are things which go far beyond the realm of our 5 human senses, preferring to think I am not just a measurable mass of body tissue, cells and bones that will return to dust and ashes upon physical death, expecting that there is a heaven and a hell - do these make me mad?

If yes, then I dare say probably half the world's entire population is mad as well, since all religions believe in the concept of retribution, which is what heaven and hell is basically all about. Come on, even the irreligious can mouth platitudes such as 'what goes around comes around' - now where did that concept come from?? Science itself postulates about the law of effect and consequence. The Bible puts it simply, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." (Galatians 6:7) If we can shout so much about justice, we should believe in the absolute necessity of heaven and hell. There would be no justice if evil, unfairness, wickedness, oppression and rebellion were to triumph at the end of the day - our conscience tells us that is simply not right; it shouldn't be that way.  For whilst it is a fact that people can and do get away with all sorts of things in this world, we all want to see wrongs righted - ultimately. If there is to be true justice, there has to be divine retribution, something beyond the fallible whims and fancies of human caprice. If this world cannot provide it, there has to be another world, another Judge who can. And if justice is to be equal for all, both the serial murderer and the one who sins 'quietly' in his heart must suffer the consequence. No exception, like Jesus said, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28) Before God, all of us stand equal - guilty. It's not belief or non-belief in Jesus Christ that sends us to hell; rather it's our own sin, which none can deny, that condemns each and every human being.

Which is why the gospel of Jesus Christ is such good news for those who would acknowledge we are all but sinners in a fallen world; for He is the only hope of mankind's redemption, because He alone paid the price on the cross of Calvary. Last weekend, at the street-alley, I bumped into an old fren, who had re-appeared after about 2 years' absence. He told me he was still reading the Bible I had given him, he attended church now and then, though he was a bit confused about certain traditions and practices. I asked him why is it he chose to believe what I had shared to him then about Jesus Christ? He was silent for a moment, then in his shy gentle manner, he smiled at me and said, "Because He died and rose again for me". Man, my heart soared. Whatever else he didn't understand, he understood and chose to believe the very basic foundation of the Christian faith - that Jesus died and rose again, personally for him. But he continued, "I have a fren who also read the Bible, but he doesn't believe it; he keeps telling me it's all wrong. Maybe he thinks I am crazy".  It's no surprise anyway - many people read the Bible just to poke fun at and/or puncture holes in it. I wanted to tell my fren, it's ok, that would make 2 of us same-same crazy - we are in excellent company, with Apostle Paul.

As I pondered this, I realized I shouldn't take offense at all, if for believing that to be truth, people should classify me as mad. Quite to the contrary, I should take it as the highest compliment I can ever receive in this life-time. So in fact I should thank the person who implied I am mad about Jesus. Why shouldn't I be mad about a God who loves me so much, who has nothing but the best plans for my life, who takes me through all my days, over all my ways, right even through the valley of the shadow of death into life forevermore? That's surely something right and good to be mad about!

Thousands of years ago, King David was despised by his wife for leaping and dancing in the streets as he brought the Holy Ark of God back to Jerusalem. When she scorned him, he said to her, "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes..., but I will celebrate before the Lord.." (2 Samuel 6:20-22) So far, my dancing for Jesus has been confined to church. Should there come a day when I can't contain my joy and it spills out into the streets, and people start calling me mad, I would dance even harder, sing even louder, share even more, because I am not ashamed of declaring I believe Jesus Christ who died as a man, but rose again; I worship a God who is  fully, fantastically and forever alive. So I am mad, so be it. I'd rather take my chances of being mad and right than sane and wrong. Hmm, I wonder, if/when ultimately it turns out what I believe all along is true, who will be calling who mad??

"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.." Matthew 5:10-12

Listen, listen, listen

There was no handsome over-the-top super-hero this time to rescue the damsel in distress. Well, there was a hero for a short while but they killed him off pretty fast without even showing much of his handsome face. In fact much of the hero tingy came thru his wise-cracks and calm voice giving directions to the (typical) female panicking at crisis time. If I were to be cynical, I would say 'Gravity' is so 'politically correct', showcasing the perfect epitome of the fairer/weaker sex who somehow gathers up enough will, guts and gumption in the end to survive without a man, after running through an entire gamut of life-threatening disasters ranging from the terror of being swallowed up in space, to getting hit by flying satellite debris, to being burnt alive and drowning weighted down in a space-suit in the deep blue sea. Talk about impossible odds. Privately, I thought the theme song should have been Helen Reddy's famous hit "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar". But I hasten to add, it's a great movie, not just because it features a very good female lead in Sandra Bullock, also not just because it's got real awesome shots of space 'up there'. It's a great movie because on quite another level, I found a very simple, even minimalist, premise that is so applicable to human life. Someone asked me why I always 'spiritualise' movies. Why can't I just enjoy a movie as a movie? I do, but I guess I see movies as so much more than just 2 hrs of mindless entertainment. To me movies are 'reel-life' magnified as big-screen reflections of real life, which provide rich fodder I can glean to ruminate over long after walking out of the cinema hall. Besides that's how I get the most worth out of the price of a ticket and a bag of pop-corn.

In this case, it was George Clooney's disembodied voice floating in space to a panic-stricken Sandra Bullock which stuck in my mind - "You must detach, if you don't detach, that arm's gonna carry you too far!Listen to my voice, you need to focus". Wise words, sound advice indeed...especially when everything in your life is whirling literally out of control and you are spinning around, not knowing which way is up or down, and in danger of drifting off into eternal darkness. The hapless heroine has been swept off balance as their space shuttle gets hit by high speed debris fall-out and is hanging on for dear life onto a broken-off 'arm' which is carrying her out into the big yonder of infinity. Because there is no gravity in space, she would be condemned to drift 'forever out there'. She needs to let go of the arm, so that the hero, who is still tethered to the shuttle, can reach her.

Just like that, we grab at anything and everything life has to offer; thinking that's the way to live it up. But actually that's not so. To really live well, we need to know what to grab and what to detach from. There are many 'voices' telling us this, that or the other thing is good, but voices can be very deceptive, even delusional, especially our own. Indeed, more so our own, because humans have a very natural tendency to credit ourselves with being ever so smart. Clooney played the part of an experienced veteran astronaut, who 'has seen it all, been there, done that' - an expert who knows his stuff inside-out. Bullock on the other hand is a brilliant bio-med engineer on her first space shuttle mission, certainly full of head-knowledge but otherwise a novice in space. When the emergency happens and everything goes topsy-turvy in her world, it is his 'outside' voice which calms her down with practical instructions on what to do and what not to do. I can imagine how scary it must have been, willing herself to let go of the one obviously solid thing that seems to be her only hope, but as it turned out, hanging onto the drifting arm would surely have resulted in her death instead. It was only when she chose to listen and obey another much wiser more experienced person that she was led to real safety. To do that, she had to tune out her own voice and focus on his instead, trusting that he knew what was best for her in the circumstances.

How many of us would choose to trust another with our life? Not many, I dare say. Yet that is exactly what God tells us to do. Someone once said, unless we let go and come to the end of ourselves, we will never know God since He can't begin anything in us when we are so full of us. We may well ask, why should we trust Him whom we cannot see? I can think of only 1 good reason, which is really quite sufficient in itself and that is - if God is our Creator, surely He knows best how we should handle the life He's given us. The more I ponder over this, the more I suspect all the objections/arguments about the existence of God is really a psychological cover-up for our own human inadequacies to trust in someone else other than our brilliant selves. Perhaps deep down, we are just cowards at heart, too scared to let go and let God take over, because we are afraid of and/or unwilling to accept what He may do, if we allow Him to enter the nice little cocoon-world we have woven out of our own human ingenuity. Agnostic/atheist-turned-Christian physicist-geneticist Francis Collins terms this tendency as a 'cop-out'. Of coz our pride would never admit this. So we build 1001 'smoke-screens' to support our lofty educated stand that we don't need a God who can't prove Himself according to our standards and who doesn't act according to how we think He should act. We don't see how small we make God, trying to bring Him down to our level.

Instead we think we know better; after all we homo sapiens are the highest in the chain of living species; we have the biggest brains, so we must be the smartest. And we don't need anyone to tell us how to live life, since we have been at it for centuries upon centuries. No other species can match our intelligence ; just look at all the smart gadgets we have invented and all the technological advances mankind has made in all fields of knowledge. It's an impressive record for sure. So if there's a god that's worthy of accolade and worship, it should be us - Hail, Human - not some vague mysterious Being Out There Somewhere, who can't be bent to our will. Indeed there are a lot of perfectly logical excuses to shut out His voice, and just hurtle our way through this space in time we term as our life.

But if our heroine had carried on, insisting on her own way, she would have died, not lived. She didn't know if the 'voice' was right in telling her to detach from her own 'security blanket'; still she trusted, obeyed and got yanked back ultimately to the very real and comforting presence behind the voice. Unfortunately as movies go, things didn't get better; instead there came a bigger crisis, when her rescuer purposefully detached himself from her. This time, as both of them got entangled, the only way she would survive was for him to release the hook that bound them together. Thus our hero (like all good heroes) sacrifices his life so she could live. Never mind that scientifically speaking, this is absolutely illogical; hey, it's a movie, dumber things have happened in movies. So it is with the subsequent scene where the (dead) hero 'miraculously' reappears alive at just the right moment to 'kick-start' the poor damsel who has by now given up and is waiting to die all alone. He turns out to be a hallucination but that in effect 'rejuvenates' our fren and imbues such fresh strength and inspiration into her that she goes all out to fight for survival.

I am reminded many times in my life, it seems as if God purposely 'detaches' from me, He seemingly doesn't answer my prayers, I don't 'feel' Him when I need Him. But that's only how it seems. Actually He's still there, always there and He's no hallucination. Jesus Christ is alive, the same yesterday, today and forever more (Hebrews 13:8). This is the 1 inalienable indestructible Truth that I know that I know that I know - my Savior resurrected, therefore the same blessed promise is mine to hope in, experience and enjoy. It's all well and easy to claim we will survive whatever, but when the crunch comes, how many will collapse like the movie-screen heroine gripped by fear of the inevitable reality called death? How many will despair like her, not even knowing how to pray since no one taught her?

I don't want to just curl up and die into oblivion. I am ever so mindful of and grateful to a merciful God that I don't have to figure out which buttons to press, which gear to engage, which trajectory to plot to get my life-ship safely into heaven's harbor; my Commander-in-Chief Captain Jesus will beam me up "home" when my time on earth is done, since I have called on Him. My name is already on His shuttle-list of 'passengers', the price of my ticket already paid for on His account.

I especially liked the end scene, where the exhausted sole survivor struggles to shore, and clutching the sand of the beach in her hands, says 'Thank you'. I wonder who she is thanking...her lucky stars? Fate? Her survival instincts? Or a dead man who was good to her? Me, as my eyes take in the final screen-shots of the wonder that is planet earth, I too say thank You, to a Man who died on a cross and then rose from the dead 2000 years ago, proving there is a God who loves me and will never let me go adrift ever. I don't need gravity to anchor my life; I just need to detach from all other things, listen to His voice and focus on Him to lead me to the ultimate safety of Himself.


"...that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God" - Ephesians 3:17-19

There is a Happily-Ever-After

Just when I was up to my neck in gloom-n-doom reflection
of the mess this world is in, comes a real-life story (courtesy of a cell-mate's email) that really perked up my spirit. This time, it's yet another woman.

She was immemorialized as the Vietnam Napalm girl in an attention-grabbing photo that won the Pulitzer Prize for World Press Photo of the Year 1972. Her name - Kim Phuc Phan Thi. Her age - 9 years old then. Caught in the action of fleeing from a pagoda which had been hit by a napalm bomb, she had stripped off her burning clothes as she ran for her life. She survived 14 months of hospitalization and 17 surgical procedures, but she struggled to come to terms with her deep physical and psychological scars.
Still she went on to med school, where in her 2nd year, she discovered a New Testament Bible in the university library. The rest, as they would say, is history...as she chose to believe that God had a plan for her life. She never did finish med school, but she did get married (to a fellow Vietnamese she met in Cuba) despite her doubt that any man could ever love her with her disfigurement. Both were granted political asylum in Canada. She went on to have children, was designated UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador for Peace 1994, published her biography and established the Kim Foundation International with centers that provide medical and psychological assistance to child victims of war all over the world.

In a speech given in New Zealand on the 40th anniversary of the bombing, she recalled, "My heart was exactly like a black coffee cup. I wished I died in that attack with my cousin. I wish I died at that time so I won’t suffer like that anymore ... it was so hard for me to carry all that burden with that hatred, with that anger and bitterness." At age 50, she testified, "Forgiveness made me free from hatred. I still have many scars on my body and severe pain most days but my heart is cleansed. Napalm is very powerful, but faith, forgiveness, and love are much more powerful. We would not have war at all if everyone could learn how to live with true love, hope, and forgiveness..."

Talk about a feel-good story. Perhaps some question, What's God got to do with it? Well, perhaps it's the simple fact that Kim survived at all. She talked of 3 miracles that happened as she recalled the horror of that day in her life. First that despite suffering extensive third degree burns to her body, the soles of her feet were not burnt and she could run. Secondly after she collapsed and lost consciousness, it was the timely intervention of the photographer (Nick Ut)who took her to a Saigon hospital. And thirdly in the aftermath chaos, her mother found her whilst searching for the (scattered) children. She could have died, another unknown statistic in a senseless war, she could have been permanently separated from her family from then on. But she was re-united with loved ones and lived to tell her story.

How often we all tend to take our lives for granted. If we are reasonably healthy, we all assume when we go to bed tonite, we will wake up tomorrow morning. How many, or rather how few, of us actually feel we are living on 'borrowed time'? A dear fren once commented that sometimes she doesn't want to read my 'ramblings' coz they are so full of gloom-n-doom , ha ha. Well, actually you don't have to read my blog for that; just read the daily news if you wanna get a major major case of depression.

Indeed, I do write a lot of gloomy stuff. But I am not morbidly obsessed with gloom and doom. On the contrary, I love life too much, and I am especially looking forward to the eternal life my God guaranteed me. I am just a realist. Come on, let's face it, in real life, there is a lot of gloomy stuff. Reality for the majority of the world's population isn't about drinking coffee lattes in some fancy joint every other day, or checking out the latest movie, clothes, bags or what-have-you sales. It isn't about fast-tracking a career to earn enough bucks to get married, have kids, buy that foreign car and comfortable condo. It isn't about seeing my first book in print and dreaming of being toasted as the next JK Rowling. There's nothing wrong per se with those stuff, but there's something wrong when that's all we are interested to pursue. Because the world is a much bigger place than that little window our eyes look out of everyday. Because life is so much more than those stuff. Stuff that I accumulate around and about myself don't make 'a' life, as much as I enjoy them.

Kim's story reminds me how fragile life really is, and how much I owe God for everyday that I am still alive. I could have been raped, robbed, kidnapped, murdered, hit by a car, slipped on the bathroom floor, suffered a stroke and become paralyzed...I could have ended up homeless on the street, exactly like the band of 'vagabonds' I serve every week; I could have been a drug addict, a prostitute, infected with AIDS, my parents could have disowned me.... you get the idea. Being aware of the horrible 'could-have-beens' makes me very conscious of how blessed I am, that God is so gracious to me, when really I don't deserve it. I am not 'gooder' than the next guy/gal. I have done lots of things I shouldn't have. I have not done lots of things I should have. Yet He has kept me alive these 50 odd years. Make no mistake; the reason I woke up this morning has nothing to do with my breathing mechanisms; it's because in grace and love, He allowed me to wake up one more morning.

Kim's life was preserved despite a napalm bomb being dropped on her, despite so much pain and bitterness, till that moment in time when a Bible in a uni library landed in her hands, at which point she discovered a God who had a plan for her life. Why does God make it so complicated? Seems so cruel to have a young child suffer so much for so long just to 'teach' her about true love, hope and forgiveness. Hang on, why is it we are so quick to blame God? He wasn't the one who dropped the bomb. Sure, He could have stopped it, after all, if He is God, He can do all things. But would that teach the human race anything about consequences and responsibility for our actions or inactions? If God went around fixing all the evil in the world committed by man, would we stop being evil to each other?? How would we even differentiate evil from good then?

God had a better idea way of dealing with evil; instead of removing it, He takes us through it, making us over-comers and more than conquerors through Christ Jesus. The most evil deed was committed by man on a perfectly innocent Man 2000 years ago when Jesus was hung on the cross. God didn't rescue Jesus; He simply raised him up from death. That's the greatest come-back story of all time. God specializes in come-back stories even now - just look at Kim's life, which started out so horrible, robbed of all beauty and sense, once given back, redeemed and healed by God, turned around to become such a blessing for others. There are many who have made and are making the same journey - finding self and finding God.

I guess that's why I have been given this precious thing called life - that I may live it to be a blessing to others. Like the saying goes, Life isn't always about me. In fact I would revise that - actually, life (as God meant it to be) isn't about me at all; it's about me and Him together; He enabling and empowering me to make a difference (no matter how small) to this world that He put me in. It's about experiencing the certainty that there is a happily-ever-after eternity and that as I live out my life each day, I am one step closer to getting there. All because like Kim, I have chosen to believe that my life belongs to God and is no longer my own.

"For Christ’s love compels us....And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." - 2 Corinthians 5:14-15