Just Beginning

The sanctuary was filled with a markedly smaller crowd than on the previous occassions leading up to GE13. I had expected it anyway. Humans are notoriously fickle-minded and wishy-washy. From time memorial it's always been the case. Many of us, including myself, are very fast to turn to God earnestly only when we are caught in 'desperado' circumstances ie when we want something "really really bad "out of Him. It was that way with the Israelites when they were slaves under an Egyptian yoke thousands of years ago in the time of Moses. For 400+ years God had been quiet (which by the way shouldn't be taken to mean He doesn't know or care)  but they were very noisy. Bible tells us during that long period, they groaned in their slavery and cried out and their cry for help...went up to God, and God heard (Exodus 2:23-24). Yet after God delivered the entire 1/2 million of them with a mighty Hand parting the Red Sea for them to walk across, all they did was grumble and mumble for another 40 years going round and round in the desert, when it should have taken them no more than 11 days to zip across into the Promised Land flowing with milk and honey.

So it is in the aftermath of GE13. Throughout the time leading up to GE 13, the M'sian church had never prayed this hard before. But the passion seems to have waned somewhat after the event, for whatever reason.  I venture in the wee hours of 6th May 2013 as the results of the election trickled over the TV screens, there must have been a fair bit of grumbles and mumbles zinging up from earth to heaven, ranging from disappointment  (how can, God?) , incredulity (You must be joking, God?), confusion (how come, God?) to anger (what are You doing, God?). No doubt too, many would have been busy blaming the devil at the other end of the pendulum (that's a definite favorite when we don't wanna 'blame' God). Who knows, some may even have given up on God and turned away, becoz He didn't answer 'our' prayers 'our' way (that happens a lot of times when we don't wanna dig deeper to understand what He's really doing).

Whatever. GE 13 is over. There was no change  in Putrajaya, no victory parades of a new government. Instead seemingly  even more division despite the politically correct announcement of national reconciliation. More rallies. More muttering. And it looks like less prayer ? - I hope I am wrong on this one, for as one pastor put it at the combined church prayer meeting that resumed 2 weeks thereafter, this is the time when even more prayer is needed. He sounded an alarm bell - We think we have prayed hard before the election? Hardly, that was just the beginning; he astutely noted. Indeed as far as God is concerned, that was just a 'practice-run'. The battle has just begun. And it's not about thousands upon thousands gathering in fields or stadiums dressed in black; though joining in such events is entirely up to the individual. But as Christians, we should know that's not where the real battle is fought nor won. Another pastor very aptly concluded with this reminder that whilst "some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God" (Psalm 20:7). It's not about political parties or people power. The battle is always won on our knees, calling onto God Almighty Himself and aligning our will and our plans to His (not the other way round).

I have to confess there have been (many) times  I questioned why I bother to pray, since God does things His own way anyway. Quite apart from the 1001 theologically correct answers why I should, what grabs my heart is simply the fact that it is by prayer, God wants me to 'get it' - to 'partner' Him to do His (not my own idea of) good and perfect things in the world I live in. Sure He can do anything; He doesn't 'need' me to pray, and it's not as if He's a sadist, waiting for me to beg Him for this, that or other . But by prayer, He invites me into His throne-room of grace where He shows me His heart.... to bring true reconciliation ie heal, restore and save relationships broken between man and man, and man and God. By prayer, through Him, I make a difference in  the particular place that He has put me - in my family, work, city, country and the world. He could do it without me of coz, but it seems He would rather do it with me. As for me, I simply can't do it without Him; I can't even save myself, what more save others! That's so humbling yet so awesome an experience, no wonder it has been said "prayer is a most precious privilege, one of the richest blessings conferred on man", for "the greatest thing anyone can do for God and man is pray; it is not the only thing; but it is the chief thing." Imagine, God doesn't require me to do great things like work miracles (that's His job); He just requires me to pray. Something everyone can do, from king to beggar; doesn't matter if one doesn't have money, degrees, skill, status, even language for that matter. All it takes is a willing heart to spend time talking with (not to) Him.

And I guess that's where many of us (I am included) 'mis-pray'. Isn't it strange how we pray "Lord, Thy will be done...in M'sia" and then we pout and sulk when He does it. Personally at the risk of being castigated, I am glad things turned out the way they did. Who knows,  perhaps we would have stopped praying altogether if God had granted the change many of us were demanding (oops, I mean, praying) for. Like the Israelites who, despite Moses' repeated reminders and warnings, promptly 'forgot' God after they finally entered the Promised Land.  As it is, if attendance is the gauge of "prayer-fever", it's tragic if the 'temperature' drops now. As much as we may be dissatisfied with what didn't happen in GE13, surely as pastor reminded us, we should be thankful for what did happen - peace that prevails to this day despite all attempts to instigate chaos, a new awakening of the truly "Malaysian" spirit which cuts across race, age, gender and religious differences drawing all into a common 'ownership' of this land , and an eye-opening perception of God's sovereignity in the unfathomable, unexpected ways that He chooses to work in our midst. Isn't that what change is all about, and isn't that what we prayed for? So who says God didn't answer our prayers?

Things always look different in the dark of nite and in the light of a new dawn. Again at the risk of going against the tide, after much personal rumination over GE 13,  I dare say we are not ready, at least not yet,  for Putrajaya to change hands, no matter how much we may wish it were so. Besides it seems to me we are in danger of losing sight of the forest for the trees; surely it's not only or all about Putrajaya. Perhaps we have forgotten God's intention is bigger than a change of government; His heart is for souls, not politics. The priority of the saints of God is as Billy Graham says, "To get nations back on their feet, we must first get down on our knees."

Let's not be distracted, but by faith, having confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we cannot see (Hebrews 11:1), let's pray ....again, some more....

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people,  for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth" - 1 Timothy 2:1-4

Playing God

 I spent the first day of the 2 week school holiday break munching pop-corn, sipping coke and gawking at a handsome blue-eyed Captain Kirk and equally (tho different) handsome villain Khan flying thru space managing the impossible feat of shooting thru a small little door which so happened to open at precisely the right second on the dot for them to land on target. But hey, this is Star Trek the movie and anything can happen in a movie. Quite apart from the action scenes, the conversation flow was most engaging, with some excellent and comical exchanges between the characters, especially from the pointy- eared Vulcan Spock with his typical dead-pan expression. I especially liked the 'human' angle of presenting moral choices which gave meaning and depth to what would have been just another forgettable movie.

The hero was no knight in shining armor. In the words of his mentor, he was a pain, acting as if rules didnt apply to him, literally 'playing God' in his cockiness and brashy attitude. The rebuke was sharp - 'There's greatness in you but not an ounce of humility. You think that you can't make mistakes, but there's going to be a moment when you realize you are wrong about that ..' That's what many people, especially the 'smart' ones (of which I used to count myself as one) tend to do. I thought I knew everything (well, at least what's good for me) , I decided how I wanted to live my life since it is my inalienable right as an independent human being. Who needs God when I can do everything much better myself, my way? Besides who knows whether God really exists or not, and after all one god is the same as any other, so might as well I be my own god. I am forever grateful (and amazed) God didn't just zap me to dust and ashes for my prideful heart. So I can relate very well to Capt K's feelings when after being stripped of his command for endangering the lives of himself and others, the old man seeks out the young 'peacock' who is drowning his sorrow at the bar and tells him 'The truth - I believe in you. If anybody deserves a second chance, it's Jim Kirk. "

I can substitute my name in there, as God whispered about the same thing in my ear some 12 years ago. The proud will not find God, they aren't even interested in the first place. The wonder of it is God actually gives us - all of us - a second, third, fourth, umpteenth chance, even in the face of man rejecting Him. That's undeserved grace, unlimited mercy, unfathomable love. But in spite of all that, we can be so 'unfeeling' , like Spock, who by his very nature can only understand logic and embrace technicalities. Yet even Spock knew there was something beyond logic when his hand touched Kirk's hand through the glass that separated them as the latter lay dying of a radiation overdose sustained in a sacrificial last-ditch effort to save his crew from certain death. That 'something' was love.

As they exchanged what to me were the most poignant lines in the movie 'I want you to know why I couldn't let you die , why I went back for you...because you are my friend', my eyes teared. I remember that's exactly what Jesus did and why He did it. When He chose to die on the cross, He was doing it for me out of love, even though He knew very well I was just another sinner in the eyes of a holy God. To this day, I stand wondering how can it be that the Almighty God would care to be my friend, to the extent that He would let His Son die for me? Jesus said to His disciples just before His death, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.... I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends.." (John 15:13,15). And miracle of miracles, out of that 1 death , emerged eternal life for all who choose to take His offered hand of friendship.

 At one point in the movie, someone remarked, "It's a miracle" and Spock countered, "But there's no such thing." Likewise it's so easy and simple to write off everything we can't understand or explain by logic or intellect as not possible. It's such a pity how many have lost the wonder and awesomeness of a God who can do and still does the impossible. I will never be able to understand the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, even if I were to witness it. Matter of fact, many folks back then who saw it didn't believe it anyway. That's the expected normal human reaction as the Bible records, "they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead." (Luke 16:31)
 

Certainly everything about God and His plan for mankind's redemption through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ defies all logic. But God Himself can't be reduced to logic in the first place.So it all boils down to 1 simple thing - your choice to believe or not. C.S.Lewis, the atheist who after a lifetime 'researching' God, put it succintly, "I gave in, and admitted God was God." Clarice Fluitt was more blunt, "God is not who you think He is; He is who He says He is."
Perhaps the classic line that should make us think a little bit harder about life comes from the villain Khan, "You think you're safe. You are not." Safe without God, really ?? Think again, and again. As if to emphasize the point, he repeats it, "You think your world is safe? It is an illusion..." Tragically many would rather treat God as the illusion, instead of THE solution.


"For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son".....Romans 5:10

Fight the Good Fight

I guess we should have seen it coming. Sigh. The homo sapiens species is notoriously difficult to satisfy and very easily agitated when things don't swing our way (and I am not talking about women) . The mother of all elections has come and gone. The day after, I saw a man dismantling election banners and flags on my way home from work. The odd thing was, he was only removing the paraphernalia of a certain party - the one which lost in his constituency. My, my, division even trickles down to removal of rubbish nowadays! Anyhow, whilst I anticipate our roads will look nice, clean and orderly again soon, that can't be said about the state of affairs in our land. It looks like the dust isn't settling at all; on the contrary it's being stirred and swept up to create even more storms and tsunamis; wonder what we will call the next one?? Both sides of the political divide are unhappy; one cries foul, the other finds fault and makes excuse.


Even as I understand the outpouring of indignation of a 'hijacked victory' and the outrage of what in effect amounts to justice denied, I am not interested in the 'us vs them' debate.  I have voted and so have some 13 million other M'sians. The results are clear for all to see and understand. It doesn't take a master's degree to know who won the majority of the M'sian people's hearts (and I am not talking about a certain race alone).
Certainly it cannot be denied there are many crucial issues which need to be clarified regarding the election process. By all means, let that be challenged, investigated and dealt with in accordance with due process, through real (not circulated and sometimes questionable) evidence by cool, not hot, heads.

I believe in change for the better, not change for the sake of change. I also feel nauseated and angry at the ridiculous things that are being said about Malays and Chinese. I am not "chicken", I participated in every 1 of the Bersih rallies, and yes, I have battled traffic and human-jams in the process, been tear-gassed and survived it all. I am not against standing up to demonstrate. Neither am I dismissive of the  ubiquitous accounts and videos being shared repeatedly on Internet blogs, Fb, Twiter, U-Tube and wat-not, but I do question whether these represent  the 'truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth'? Come on, let's not be so naive to believe everything on social media. Messages, even pictures can be 'faked', totally taken out of context or just plain twisted/misinterpreted.

So I prefer to take the cue from Datuk Ambiga who, in an early (May 6) statement,  after enumerating a list of alleged fraudulent practices and concluding that GE 13 was neither free nor fair , went on to say that Bersih has no plans to call for a rally, as they 'need to concentrate on a fact-finding mission first.' That's focus. Shouting slogans only get masses of people excited over a common cause (even if it's a right and noble one). And I am very glad indeed to see that apparently Tindak Malaysia has already circulated a form to document facts from actual eye-witnesses who were on the ground monitoring the election process.

I fully recognize the right of people to make their collective voice heard, just as much as I understand the need for a rally-ing (pun intended) point for the overflow of frustrations over GE 13. Yes, I can join thousands of other M'sians to protest in some more rallies. But I doubt that there's gonna be any new 'expose' that I don't already know anyway. So whilst I can understand, appreciate and indeed applaud the marvellous show of solidarity in all M'sians coming together to take a stand for justice and demonstrate their unity and love for this land of our birth,  in the meantime, let's not forget there's a nation to be run. Heaven forbid that we get side-tracked and miss the forest for the trees.

We may not have seen a change of regime but we have seen an unprecedented change in the maturity of M'sians, which cuts across racial, sex, age and status divides of society. And that's so heartwarming. Putrajaya may not have changed hands, but I ask, so what? Is it  about Putrajaya or Malaysia? The popular vote is already a clear indication of who won the victory - the writing is on the wall for all to see, especially for those still warming their seats in Putrajaya. And surely it is  a matter of time that if they don't buck up, they will have to vacate the seats to those who have earned the trust of the people. I dare say, even if external forces don't put them out, eventually they will 'implode' upon themselves internally. So let justice take its course. It may not be immediate but it will come. Isn't it amazing that all the 'heavy arsenal' being thrown left, right and centre - rounds of 'free' $$, free food, free entertainment, free whatever, - didn't succeed in enticing 51% of M'sians? It surely speaks volumes and augurs well as a first step towards eradicating the scourge of endemic corruption in the land, for it says boldly - Look, you can't buy my soul.

When I look at the line-up of the leaders who have been chosen and voted in by this 51%, I am very very encouraged. I see a bunch of 'ancients' (pardon the expression) well into their 70s, standing tall, who have sacrificed decades of their lives fighting unwaveringly and untiringly for principles, some to the extent of being imprisoned for their beliefs. They remind me of Caleb in the Bible who, at 85 years old, asked for the 'hill country' as his inheritance after they entered the Promised Land (Joshua 14). By the way, that hill country wasn't exactly paradise - it was inhabited by giants (a race descended from the famous Goliath who was all of 9 feet tall). Certainly there are still many 'giants' in Malaysia to be fought, and I am not talking about people. Their names are Corruption, Racism, Prejudice, Oppression, Injustice, Inequality... you get the idea. Their names are not Ismail, Ah Kow, Muthusamy, Priscilla or Asri . It's very easy to forget who our real enemy is.

A blogger when recounting her harrowing experience of being a volunteer EC/SPR officer commented, "Really, to hell with humanity, I have to say. In our bid for free and fair elections we leave out compassion and love for others." This is a sad commentary on what can happen when people become over-zealous and act out of the heat of emotions. We 'tar' everyone who isn't 'with us' in the same camp as 'against us', because we are so quick to suspect/assume they are the 'enemy'. And so we go all out for our 'pound of flesh' against anyone and everyone who doesn't belong to our 'gang'. Yes, that may be our right. Indeed we all know there are evil schemes perpetuated. Yes, we want the 'bad guys' brought to justice and yes,  it looks as if they are getting off scot-free through manipulation, deceit and cheating. That may be how it looks, but I choose to believe there will be retribution, sooner or later; ultimately "Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished" (Proverbs 11:21) Truth and justice will always prevail at the end of the day.

So I'd rather focus on the new dawn that has been ushered in after 5th May 2013 in M'sia. I see fresh, "young"  faces whose hearts are full of fire and enthusiasm, who are articulate in expression, who talk sense (not non-sense). They don't spin stories or pluck fancy figures from the air, they don't need to descend to vitriolic hyperbole spouting divisive hatred to gain political mileage. They speak from realistic facts. Many are experts and professionals in their own fields. This is the new breed of 'bangsa Malaysia' - idealistic, knowledgeable, dynamic, eager, committed to being good stewards of the trust placed in them by their fellow country-men  and dedicated to be change-agents of M'sian society, to pursue and realize the  Malaysian dream of a government of the people, for the people and by the people. As much as the 'old' garrison has started the journey from years ago, this is the new generation of soldiers rising up in the ranks, willing to fight the good fight to transform Malaysia, take it out of the old into a new era, where everyone can be assured of their rightful place under the Malaysian sun.

It's not about what the Chinese want, it's about what Malaysians want. Notwithstanding all the alleged voting irregularities, I don't see GE13 as a defeat, on the contrary to me, it is already a victory for the people. I salute the old and the new 'guard' who have sparked off a grand movement that offers a realistic hope of a better M'sia for tomorrow's generation. I see the baton being passed onto a new 'battalion who are and are being prepared to continue building on the foundation that has been laid. We have gotten off to a great running start, let's not lose the momentum by getting distracted .There is now increased representation in both parliament as well as state assemblies. So let's get on with the real business of government - building a 'rainbow' nation of all races, united in love for this "tanah air tumpahnya darahku". And that can be done, in or out of Putrajaya.



"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." - Martin Luther King Jr. 

Did The Dream Die?

 My first birthday sms greeting came at 1 plus am on 6th May from my ex-boss... with comments that must be common amongst many today - "eyes swollen, heart-broken". Right into the wee hours of the morning after 5th May, a group of us had been huddling together in the living room of one of my cell-members' house; almost all had fallen into increasing despondency, our eyes glued to the idiot-box, recording the 'official' vote count, so excruciatingly slow in being updated. Incidentally, I learnt something new in the process- there is no better torture than watching TV on election nite, especially when coupled with concurrent, conflicting and confusing reports from smartie-fones, Ipads and wat-nots. We had started out with such high expectations, likewise I am sure many throughout the land of M'sia were riding on a wave of anticipated euphoria built up over many many months before, intensified by fantastic reports of mammoth crowds at this or that ceramah, here and there and everywhere in the weeks/days leading up to 5th May.

And now the bubble has finally burst-ed. And now the recrimination and rumination will start to roll in. Experts (and lots of us unwittingly think we are in that category) will analyse, assess and dissect the results. Many will cry foul (and that may very well be correct, correct, correct), others will plot action plans B, C, D-Z (and that should be the way forward), still others will say "I told you so". There will be those who bemoan the 'death' of democracy; I am sure the black box reading RIP democracy in contrasting white is being shared all over Fb pages. Heck, someone may even start planting black flags all over the road shoulders. And I am not saying it's wrong, misguided or whatever. I share the grief, I share the disappointment amongst millions of M'sians who dared dream a great dream for this 'tanah air tumpah darah-ku'.

So what happened? Did the dream die? Did all our prayers go to waste? Has God gone to sleep? Did He abandon M'sia? No, and I declare again, 1000 times NO. The dream is very much alive and kicking. What is inspired and born of God can never die, no matter who, what or how many attempts are made to kill it. Problem is our eyes are a bit skewed, and the human that we all are, when we don't get what we want, hope and desperately pray for, we lose the big picture.(And in case we still don’t get it, just look again and consider the final numbers)

In a sermon a week before election day, I shared a message about what must be the fave prayer of all Christians, from Mat. 7:8-11, where Jesus taught, "For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" We know God will give us 'good' gifts. The only catch is His idea of bread, fish, stones and snakes may be quite different from ours. When we fail to recognize this, we also fail to recognize that sometimes what appears to be unedible stones and poisonous snakes are actually bread and fish to God. And that's not only an erroneous but a dangerous assumption, because when the feast that's laid out on our tables doesn't correspond to our idea of a feast (in fact quite the opposite) , we will get disappointed at and/or angry with God (and everybody else who had a hand in dishing out the feast of coz). Conversely, it could be that what we consider to be yummy bread and fish are actually stones and snakes which would do harm, not good, to us, and that's why in His utmost grace and mercy, if only we knew, we would praise God He doesn't answer some of our prayers.

My husband's cancer and his subsequent passing away can hardly be termed 'good'; I certainly don't want (and don't wish it) on anyone; it's a very very bitter pill to swallow. But out of something so horrible, came God's salvation for my entire family. The unalterable, undeniable fact remains that His Word is true - "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Hm, who have been called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28). Likewise on the face of it, Jesus' dying on the cross was a total travesty of justice and all good 2013 years ago. But, But - and this is the Big But that makes all the difference ...out of death came resurrection life. Bread or stone? Fish or snake? When we grow 'new' eyes to see and appreciate things from His point of view, from His point of time (and God deals in eternity, not 5-year plans),we can rest assured ultimately God is good, God is great and God is faithful. Christians of all people should be the most optimistic of all for we have a living hope.

I wrote a few days before the election: "Yes, come 6th May, whatever the results of the election, I will have the best birthday present I have ever had in my 53 years of life as a M'sian citizen - a new government - a new hope realized, a vision come to pass of better things for a new tomorrow in the land of my birth. God bless Malaysia".

Today as I cross over into my 53rd year of life as a M’sian citizen, I can only say, It is done; I thank God for my birthday present - for the miracle begun in this beloved land of my birth. He has worked and is still working in M'sia. Henceforth our call surely must be to continue to pray along and work along  so that never again will it be 'business as usual' in M’sia. May there be no more delay in making that dream come true. God bless M'sia indeed.

And now, I am going out to celebrate!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" - Philippians 4:4

The Best Birthday Present

  I am not one to bother much about birthdays. That explains why apart from family and close frens, you won't find me sharing celebratory greetings all over social Fb every time a birthday reminder comes into my mail. In fact I am guilty of forgetting (unintentionally of coz) some of my closest frens bdays, and even mixing up those of my own kids - that's old aunty for you.

But for once, I am very excited about my birthday this year, coming right on the heels of GE 13. Quite apart from the fact that I get a specially declared day off (thanks to the MB of Selangor), I know it will be a day to celebrate not just a new age for me, but a new era for my country. To paraphrase Shakespeare a bit, "Something is brewing in the nation of Malaysia." And it's not about which party gets to win the mother of all elections - that's only one side of the coin. The other side has God stamped all over it. These are exciting times to be a Christian, at least for me. I have read about revival, heard sermons about revival, seen pictures about revival and for the past few months prayed for revival unceasingly - alone, in cell, in churches, in my workplace. Indeed there has been unprecedented prayer meetings in churches throughout the length and breadth of the nation, even as non-M'sian Christians overseas have been praying for and prophesying over M'sia long before the election date was announced. The angels of heaven must be pretty busy handling all the petitions for M'sia rising up from earth. I dare say never before has there been such concerted prayer uniting the churches of the land in 1 body, in 1 accord, in 1 heart, in 1 spirit.

Why should God be interested in puny M'sia? We are just a dot on the globe. Bottom line is simply because He loves M'sia and has got a special plan for her. And I am so excited that it's all unfolding in my life-time; I sense I am standing on the cusp of a revival, and I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. M'sia has seen 1 revival in 1984  in Ba'kalalan, a cluster of villages located near the Sarawak/Sabah/Kalimantan border, some 2700 feet above sea level. Witnesses testified of miracles, unusual signs and wonders - angelic visitations, water changed to oil, rice to flour, fireballs and stars of fire lit up in the sky then. And somewhere in the mountains of East M'sia, word is out that it's happening again...in this day and age. It may be small, it may go unnoticed (at least for now) but it's the start of the fulfillment of what God has promised to the original 'sons of the land' - that He will restore unto them all the years the locusts have eaten. And once started, there's no stopping God. Like a mighty river of life, the spirit of revival will flow through and flood this land - from east to west, from north to south - to bring forth blessing upon blessing.

Many prayers are being prayed for M'sia, but one resonates in my heart, that a pastor called the 'never again' and 'no more delay' prayer - never again the divisive spirit of racism that pits a M'sian against another fellow M'sian on the basis of skin-color. Never again corruption allowed to rear its ugly head. Never again oppression of the poor and marginalized in society. Let there be no more delay to the rule of freedom, justice, righteouness and unity in M'sia. No more delay in implementing good governance, transparency, accountability and best practices.

Heck, it seems lifted out of a party manifesto, and indeed it would be another ceramah speech if it was addressed to a crowd of mortals at a some political rally or other. But when it's addressed to the Almighty God of heaven and earth, it is a heart's prayer that ascends to the throne-room of grace and finds a ready answer. Surely He must hear and He will answer, for surely enough is enough, and the God of all justice and righteousness must act  for His own name sake. Surely the time is now, today is the day of salvation. After all He promised it: "Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land" (2 Chron.7:14)

Yes, come 6th May, whatever the results of the election, I will have the best birthday present I have ever had in my 53 years of  life as a M'sian citizen - a new government - a new hope realized, a vision come to pass of better things for a new tomorrow in the land of my birth. God bless Malaysia.

"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" - Jeremiah 33:3

This World Is Not Enough

I have what I call an 'itchy eye' for food. I am never satisfied with what's on my plate.  One of life's most agonizing moments for me is deciding what to eat when confronted with a variety of choices. I step into a coffee-shop, restaurant or wherever and the first thing I do is look at other people's plates, and always I find myself wishing I could order and taste a little bit of everything. To 'adventurous' (read greedy) souls like me, only 1 kind where got enough?? Unfortunately or fortunately, this organ inside me called my stomach can't take in much; I notice especially as my hair turns whiter faster, so seemingly my stomach seems to shrink in its capacity to contain food. A true-blue M'sian at heart, I was one of those who would never say no to the rallying cry of "food, glorious food". I still find it difficult to say no, but I guess the shrinking stomach is God's way of helping me handle the temptation of eating like there is no tomorrow. Still that doesn't stop me from looking wistfully at all the choices available when I am out food-hunting and wishing I could have them all.
Neither is this 'longing for more' limited to something as mundane as the composition of my daily diet. Many are the times when a stirring for 'something more' hits my soul. The desire can come unannounced unexpectedly like something that's always there lingering at the back of the mind. It can be sparked off by a passing glance at the beggar standing below the traffic lite  as I am sitting in the comfort of my air-con car, muttering at the abominable slowness of drivers around me. Or a chance encounter in the playground with the Indonesian 'ibu' who has to wake up in the early pre-dawn hour to start work in the restaurant nearby; she sighs as she tells me her legs ache with the constant standing and heavy manual labor. The thought flits by in random moments of my daily living - what does this world have to offer??

I have loved and lost...death has robbed me of a spouse, relatives, frens on earth. I have been there, done this and that, had my share of tears and laughter. I continue to love and yes, I still get hurt in the process. I see suffering, injustice, oppression; the filth, scum and ugliness of life on planet earth. But I also have eyes for its beauty, not just manifest in picturesque dawns and idyllic beaches, but in very poignant portraits of love - the glances of moms, dads or grandparents as they come by to pick up the kids after school. The cute adorable smiles of the little ones that greet me when I walk pass their classes each morning. Indeed this world has much to offer. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful - they are all there. I guess it's enough for some, since all the variety of experiences of a life-time are already available in this world. But when everything is said and done, my heart thirsts and hungers inexplicably, as if it knows there is something deeper that I am meant to find, something more than just to live a 'feast' of experiences on this earth. It's like eating at a buffet, yet ending up not quite satisfied, as if there's something still missing from the menu.  A saint termed it as as the vacuum in every human heart that only God can fill.

One of the pastors at the combined church prayer meeting I attended recently talked about Christians  who long to go home to heaven but are willing to stay on earth, because they accept that God has given them a job to finish here first. I guess that hits the nail on my head. Every now and then (especially when the road of my life gets a bit bumpy) I tell God I can't wait to die, so that I can live forever in His world, in accordance to His promise of eternal life for all who call upon the name of Jesus. Nope, I am not suicidal, nor am I depressed. Sure, life on earth could be better, easier, funnier, like I could be richer, prettier, stronger. But it's not to avoid or escape the calamities/problems of this life that makes me feel this way. It's the fact that this world is not enough for me - as much as God has already blessed me with an abundant overflowing life in this world -  I want, I am impatient to get hold of that other world which is the ultimate reward of my faith - where He is, the abode of perfect Love. Where the glory of God illuminates His holy city and there is no need of sun/moon....  where nations will walk in its light, and the kings of the world will enter in all their glory....where its gates will never be closed at the end of day because there is no night there...where nothing evil will be allowed to enter.... (Revelation 21:23-27). If I could, I would give up this world in a nano-second blink of an eye in exchange for that one. The desire tugs at my heart, knowing there is nothing in this world that can compare or match with what that other world has to offer. 

But my time is not yet, at least not for now. I haven't finished the job God gave me to do here. So I fix my eyes on the cross of Jesus, whereat lies the promise of my hope for a world beyond this one, a world that will finally be enough. 


"For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing.... While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it's not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life" ......2 Corinthians 5:1-4