1 woman, 3 men and Jesus.

She came seeking me out as I stood idly by, waiting for the guys to rectify the faulty mike. We hugged and as her hand clutched mine, I sensed her broken heart without her saying a word. She was a tough cookie, this old-timer who had been on the streets for umpteen years, surviving on her talent in making jewellery from odds and ends. Her problem isn't surviving; it's men. I dunno how many have passed through her, used her, dumped her. Today, I simply prayed into her heart the peace and healing of God and told her she didn't have to depend on the love of man, becoz human love can never satisfy. I whispered in her ear that Jesus loves her, no matter who else didn't. Her fingers tightened around mine in a silent thank you. A woman met the Lover of her soul today.



As the food was being dished out, I sat down beside a young long-haired adult with giant sized tattoos on his arms. "Auntie, you tell me la, no money make IC, no IC, how to get job; pray so long also no use ", he rattled off in Bahasa. I asked him how much it would cost. He said the fine was $300, which meant he had lost his IC more than twice. So I asked again, how come you lost your IC? He admitted it was his own fault, but he continued, "How come I pray and nothing happens? What's the point of believing in Jesus like this? My life is still rotten." Hai, an old familiar tune I have heard time and again, from all sorts of people, in one version or another. So I asked the young man, "Do you know Jesus really?" He stared at me and shook his head. There you have it; if you think Jesus is supposed to make all your wishes come true, give you a good (read easy)  life on earth and a fantastic place in heaven, then I can guarantee there's no point in your belief. I asked the young man whether he expected durians to drop from heaven, he said no, then I asked him how do we get durian fruits then? Smart chap that he was, he said durians come from durian trees, and that led to a basic lesson on botany...that durian fruits come from durian trees that come from durian seeds that need to be planted in the ground. And of coz he was also smart enuf to agree that no delicious durian could ever come out of rotten weeds. Finally i asked him what seeds had he been planting into the soil of his heart n whether his life was right with God. His eyes suddenly avoided mine; I had my answer, and he knew it. When he looked up at me again, I simply told him what I had learnt in my own life, that  if i harbor sin in my heart, God doesn't hear my prayers; my sin builds a wall which stops my prayers from ascending to His throne; they bounce back at me, undelivered and unanswered. He nodded and walked away. I think this young man met the real Jesus today.

I caught sight of the second man out of the corner of my eye. He was a familiar face in the street alley; I remember him crying like a baby once a long time ago when I prayed over him. For the past 2 Saturdays, he had been avoiding me, and today he had pulled his cap right under his eyes. I asked how he was. He pursed his lips, and answered "Auntie, I don't want to see you" I asked why. His reply shocked me momentarily, "I see you, I think of God". I laughed, "I am not God. But I think it's good you think of God." He looked tortured. "I have done terrible things, drugs, drink, women, I can't stop..." he muttered. Again I asked, why? He answered simply with 1 word, "nafsu" - desire. Then I asked if he believed in Jesus. He said yes. So I took this sinner back in time to Calvary's Cross, and reminded him of what the Savior of the world had said hanging up there, "It is finished" - his sin is finished; God had chosen to forget about all  the terrible things he had done, not simply becoz he said sorry, but becoz Jesus had taken it all. I reminded him some more that God's mercy is new every morning. Just as the sun rises afresh everyday, swallowing up the previous nite's darkness; there's always hope for a new tomorrow. My brother's eyes glistened as he nodded his head vigorously, as if to reinforce the truth of God's promise into his mind. A prodigal son came home to Jesus today.

I bumped into the third man at the medical station. He was another old-timer on the streets. Consistently he had refused to believe no matter how many times I shared with him the good news that Jesus loves him. But one day,  he had approached me with a strange dream that kept recurring in his sleep.  I never fancied myself an interpreter of dreams, but for once in my life, I was able to explain the meaning of this man's dream to him. Certainly it could never have come from me. He knew, and I knew God was speaking to him, and he responded then. Now years down the line, as I looked at his frail  body, he raised his hand to hi-5 me. That's always been how we greet each other. I asked how he was; he said not too good, becoz of diabetes and high blood pressure. And when I enquired where he was staying, he shrugged. He asked if I had any XL shirt I could give him, because he had only the one on his back. I was sorry I couldn't fulfill such a simple request. But then with a smile, he said something which put everything into perspective for me today... "It's ok, sis, I still have Jesus, and He is good "

I still have Jesus, no matter what else I don't have, and He is good... Oh, the lessons of life that God teaches me, through  the eyes of others in so much greater need than I....The poor don't need to understand complicated theological arguments about doctrine. They don't need answers to the hows, wherefores, and whys of God. Oh, the wonder that uneducated simple-minded folks can understand that the ultimate  issues of life are about the state of our hearts, recognizing our need for forgiveness becoz we have sinned against God, (no matter how good we are), receiving grace, healing, and freedom in the love of Christ who died and rose again so that all who come to Him shall never perish but have eternal life. If I have that, it really doesn't matter what else I don't have. And if I don't have that, it really doesn't matter what else I do have.  It takes 1 poor woman and 3 poor men to remind me all I ever need for every today is Jesus, the giver of Life.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven...." Matthew 5:3

Even an eyebrow pencil...

Phew, finally, it's over. I can kick off my high heels, put up my legs, unplaster my smile and flop onto the bed. Running the kindy annual concert/graduation ceremony and an added repeat performance of selected classes in 2 church services the very next day gives a new twist to the meaning of 'stressss'. When Pastor first approached me with the request to repeat some of our concert presentations, I balked and immediately rejected it as just too much work. Getting parents who have already spent a whole Saturday morning to come back again on a Sunday and expecting them to hang around some 4 hrs would be next to impossible, especially if they aren't Christians. So although I dutifully told Pastor I can only try, my heart was really saying no and no way...but God reminded me not to insult Him -  saying no simply meant firstly i was just plain lazy and more importantly I didn't trust Him enuf to bring the impossible to pass. As I look back to the past week of preparations and see the very tangible results of God's work, I can only cry. I cry at the realization of God's awesomeness and faithfulness, of how great  my God is, proving that when He calls, He will empower and He will provide all my needs, big and small....

...even as small a thing as an eyebrow pencil. My black eyebrow pencil had finished to its last millimeter last week, and I just had no time to shop for a new one. So I made do with a brown one, even tho I knew the color didn't quite suit me. I was hoping no one would notice that much on concert day. But 2 days before the big day, one of my teachers passed me along the corridor and said, 'Aunty christine, u shld use black eyebrow pencil, brown not nice..' and I said, 'yea, I know, but no time to go buy new one' and she said, ' I will bring for you tomorrow, I don't use anymore since I got mine permanently done.' The next day, she brought not one, but 8 black eyebrow pencils...enuf to last me many years I am sure!! I was most amused, I didn't pray...hallo, who prays for eyebrow pencils !....but God knew I should be looking my best for 'His' big day ..and He supplied...in abundance. That's how great my God is... nothing, absolutely nothing, escapes His notice; not even my eyebrows....

Every year we tear hair when concert time rolls around, becoz we will have kids who can't dance, can't do formation, can't remember steps and positions...the list goes on. The teachers step on each other's tails becoz of the stress involved in the  preparations. But somehow on the day it will all pull together into a grand show. I know it's nothing to do with us, but all to do with my God, who like a skillful director draws the best out of the kids to make them look so beautiful and fantastic that they can do no wrong in the eyes of  parents in the audience. Every year it's a challenge to do better than the last. And we were all under added pressure as this is our 10th year of operations. Even before the day itself, I was feeling the heat becoz somehow or other there was another big function going on in  the same premises at the same time, tho in different halls. It would mean a big crowd of people, which required changing some of our logistic arrangements last minute. On the morning itself, there were hiccups, the audio systems started late becoz someone forgot to open the control room door, then the screen presentations couldn't run becoz of technical limitations... I was ready to scream...there was no 'plan B'....

...till I spotted the parent who had designed the power-point presentation for us. Surely its God's timely intervention that she 'so happen' to have her lap top with her, thus making it possible to for us to 'tayang' the power-point. Not only did she 'rescue' the show, but she gave me a confirmation that I had been waiting for from God regarding a certain personal issue which I had been burdened with for some time. Right in the midst of a very busy morning God sends this sister with a word that spoke peace into my heart. How great is my God...

And He didn't stop there.... Having committed to run a repeat performance the very next day, I was short of hands to handle 3 classes kids and parents over 2 church services back-2- back. I didn't want to compel any of my staff except the class teachers involved as it was a Sunday. People also need to rest after all. But I didnt even need to ask, 2 of them voluntarily informed me they were willing to come over to help out. As for the parents, against all my initial expectations, although not all signed up, there was sufficient to make up the bare minimum to put up a decent show. The only twist was it did require some more extra work in adapting the original choreography and organizing extra briefings for the parents, right after the concert itself.  My unspoken fear that the children would mess up becoz of the last-minute changes turned out to be totally unfounded; actually they performed even better then on the previous day of the concert. And using this repeat show, God turned some critical parents around to happy parents instead. All's well that ends well. What can I say?? How great is my God...

...that He would throw me a challenge to show up His own greatness. If I hadn't allowed Him to change my 'no' to a 'yes', I would never have learnt these precious lessons....indeed from everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked (Luke 12:48). It has been my constant prayer for the school that God would grant us, His workers, submitted hearts to obey His will, and willing hands to go the extra mile. Little did I know He would answer my prayer this way. How true it is, that many times we don't know what we ask of God! Like someone said, be careful what you ask from God...He might just give it to you, but in a most unexpected way...

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus"... 
Philippians 4:19

When the oceans rise....

 


The first thing everyone wants to know after you get back from a vacation is "So, how was it?". The usual (expected) reply would be "Great, fantastic, awesomeness". I wish I could say that about our family vacation this year in Yogjakarta straight off the cuff. But I hesitate becoz that's not really how I feel about it.
How do you describe a holiday where things happened which aren't supposed to happen or conversely what's supposed to happen didn't? How do you even start to talk about a holiday where you are up practically the whole nite before you are due to leave, having to deal with a personal crisis at home? I felt like a wound-up spring, trying to dam up a heart already totally 'exhausted'. But..since a holiday is supposed to relax and recharge, I choked back the emotions and mentally 'threw' all my burdens to God, trusting that He would be faithful to sustain me.

And He did.... He messed up our holiday sufficiently to make it...different. First off, we discovered our family event planner didn't know her geography too well, since she had booked a change of hotel at a place 2 flights away, coz she never noticed that the 2 mountains were spelt differently - one was Gunung Merapi, the other Gunung Marapi. So there goes my money...thank God there were tons of hotels to switch over to where we were at. She had listed down an impressive itinerary of things to do and sights to see but none of us expected Yogyakarta to be so big a city. So much of our time was spent on the road, getting to all the usual touristy places every day, coz they were spread out, north south east west of the city proper. A fair bit of physical activity was required, and it ranged from as diverse as climbing mountains and ruins of ancient temples to riding horses across a volcanic plateau to battling giganto waves in the ocean.

I had always thot of volcanoes as forbidding aloof mountains, spouting fire, belching smoke and lava...well, thats how they are always portrayed in movies, right?! But the one we travelled to (Dieng Plateau) was amazingly well populated...all the way up the winding road, we passed prosperous villages which dotted the hillside. At the top was an even bigger surprise ...there were horses for hire to trot tourists to the crater. Of coz typical tourists that we were, we couldn't resist the temptation! The only animal I have ever ridden on before was an ostrich. Comparatively riding a horse this round was easier to manage, tho to be honest, it was the trainer who did it all. We just held on for dear life, even tho it was just a short ride up to the volcano crater. Standing at the edge and peeping into the boiling smoking crater of a live volcano (a small one but it was a live one alright) wasn't what I expected at all. Instead of red hot fiery waves of lava, it was all a grey swirling bubbly mass of gooey stuff. The only thing that matched my expectation was the smoke!

From the mountains down to the sea was another adventure in itself. Quite unlike our M'sian beaches, the one we went to was situated literally behind a mountain (ya, now I remember my geography, Indonesia is all mountain territory), and I wouldn't call it sea, more like ocean, becoz the waves were gigantic. The first beach we stopped at was supposedly the newest discovered. The waters were indeed very clear. It was however low tide, still the gang decided to test the waters. So I volunteered to jaga the barang. I could see them struggling to walk out to the deeper parts, but I didn't think much of it until the 2 youngest returned limping. Apparently the shallows were filled with prickly corals and live sea urchins. The boy got cut the worst, with wounds on both hands and legs, the skin of his sole literally torn off and bleeding. Some more one of his slippers had to break right then. The uncle slipped and fell headlong into the water , and but for the cap he was wearing he would have cut his scalp. That cap is probably floating its way round the world now.... I shudder at the thought of what could have been a major disaster, and can only thank God for the angels surrounding us. My heart was somewhat uneasy, what kind of holiday is this turning out to be? But having come such a long way -2 hours to be exact - we just had to have our share of the sea, so despite all that, we insisted to go to another stretch of 'swimmable' beach.

Well, the next one turned out more 'rollable' than 'swimmable'. Where I was watching I could see the waves come crashing in and over anyone and everyone who stood with back facing the open sea. It was a fascinating sight, and it looked fun too....as usual I was the last in. And when the first wave hit my back, I knew the meaning of being literally knocked out of breath. I was sent tumbling forward and somersaulted underwater...such was the power of the waves. It was sheer panic for the first few moments as I grappled to stand up. For a fleeting moment a ridiculous thot crossed my mind as the water tugged at my swimsuit, what if it gets ripped off!! But the strange ting is after the first taste of being slammed by a wall of water, you kinda wanna get hit again.... Must be some inborn sadistic tendency in all humans?? And so I got up to be whammied again. I would have continued but I knew it was time to stop when I felt myself being dragged out further and further by the invisible undercurrent. It was more than panic this time; it was fear. And made worse when I saw my no. 2 girl struggling a little way off from me. Someone was shouting, hang on, make for shore or something like that. Instinctively I reached out to grab her outstretched hand. But the next wave was already upon us. I gripped her hand tight as we went under. I pulled her as we struggled to get up on our feet. We had but taken 2 steps when we were hit by another wave and this time, I lost her, as I took another somersault underwater. By the time I got up and looked back, she was being swept out even further from me. I tried to run to her, but who can run on water? In a split second, I relived again the horrible fear of losing a loved one that I had felt 10 years ago with my husband. In my heart I cried out Jesus, the only name I knew who could save. An oncoming wave swept her towards me, and I grabbed again at her hand. She held on. I pulled and dragged with all my strength. The waves were still coming in, but had grown smaller in force. And finally we collapsed gasping in the safety of the shallows. What can I say?...Fom where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth....the One who created and walked the waves.....as I recall the words of that old song..."When the oceans rise, and thunder roars, I will soar with You above the storm...Father, You are King over the flood..."

One would have thot that after all this 'adventure', we should have had enuf. But that very nite, the 2 girls were off on a midnite climb up Mt Merapi, joining in with a tour group. It would take some 4 hrs up in time to catch the sunrise and another 3 hrs to get down. It's strange that for a family vacation, we were all doing our own thing except when travelling from place to place. Whilst the gals gallivanted away, the rest of us were snoozing. (Mountains are not my cup of tea, i have climbed hills before, and my conclusion is I don't fancy my heart literally bursting and my knees buckling under the agony of a seemingly never ending ascent, just to catch fantastic views of this, that or the other whatever. I figure the sun rises beautifully anywhere anyway)

 

In the morning, the boy continued snoozing, the uncle had taken off for an early round of golf somewhere else, and I spent 2 hrs doing something I have never done before overseas - I had my hair cut and colored; all done nicely for a song  in a small shop by the roadside. Then I decided to do some city exploring on my own, took a beca to some Sultan's Water Palace, which was a huge enclosed area, built up with 2 big 'swimming pools', where apparently his 40 wives and numerous other princesses took their baths...there was still water in the 2 pools, but my imagination fails me at this point... Besides changing rooms, there was a private 'viewing gallery' (obviously for his eyes only) accessible through 3 flights of narrow winding staircases, which accorded a very nice view of the pools from the top. Next was a walk to the current Sultan's palace grounds which housed several halls converted into mini museums featuring everything you need to know about the royal family. I am no history buff, but there were some pretty nice stuff to gawk at on top of the 'live' traditional orchestra playing their style of music.
Talking about music, first time in my life I see so many street buskers plying their trade in the city.Over 2 nites as we sampled the local cuisine at the roadside stalls, sitting on the ground eating from low long tables, we had no shortage of 'entertainers' serenading us during the meal. The one who 'tagged' us could even do a rendition of Teresa Teng's famous "The Moon Represents my Heart" number. On the artistic trail, we also watched the dance story of Ramayana, seated on stone terraces in an open air stage enclosure for 2 hrs, which didn't do my back bones any good at all.

Whilst I was out walking the streets, the girls had returned from their mountain climbing. My no. 2 princess apparently gave up after huffing and puffing 45 mins, but to me, it's ok, she will conquer other mountains in life, I am sure. My eldest the most gung-ho one, capped it all by (almost) conquering Merapi at the second-last pit stop before the pinnacle at 2600++ m . For all the sweat or rather shivering as it was apparently very cold up on the mount, she got full emo satisfaction of a feat accomplished, (certainly something to be commended considering she is a first time novice at climbing mountains) and indeed beautiful shots of the sun rising. The cost - excruciatingly achy legs even after 2 days.

So how was our holiday?... different for all of us. Unlike me, for once the girls didn't do much shopping at all, but I know they enjoyed themselves, so did the boy who was content to stay put in the hotel room resting his feet and using their wifi. Me... I discovered that I don't have to do everything as planned, I don't have to climb every mountain just becoz it is there. I don't have to clamber over ancient ruins just becoz they are classified as world heritage buildings. I don't have to dip my feet into the clearest most fabulous waters. So what if I miss out the 'must-do' 'must-see' stuff? I guess that applies not only to taking vacations but equally well to living life. I don't have to take on any and every challenge that comes my way becoz I don't need to prove anything really, either to myself, to others or to God. I am secure in knowing there is a God who loves me perfectly, not becoz I am perfect, but becoz He is love. So there are some battles in life I don't need to fight; I can walk away without any shame becoz I only need to take on whatever He deems it necessary for me to take on...and for that He will give me enuf strength to conquer....even killer waves....

And oh yes, I found out that a holiday doesn't take away the burdens in the heart, tho I can 'park' them away in 'kiv' for just that period. But the good news is God sends angels just at the right time. Like the time we spent at the 2 beaches in Yogjakarta, like the morning after our return... When I was at emo breaking point, God sent a human angel with mooncakes in hand. But it turned out she brought along more than mooncakes...a couple of years ago, I was the one who'connected' her to the God of all comfort in her hour of need. That morning the tables were turned around as she comforted me with the same words that I had used to encourage her back then... how true it is the God of all comfort....


" ....comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God..." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

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