Really, really friends ?

Its the penultimate day of the hols . In less than 48 hrs i will be back at work; joining the millions of other M'sian Chinese whose leave ends this Sunday. Hai, so that's another CNY over, we will all sigh as we put our noses back to the grindstone of another year ahead (doesn't matter CNY officially lasts 15 days, for most of us once work begins, that's the end of the festival realistically speaking).
For the past 1 week, i have had the luxury of actually regularly checking out Fb and news portals online. I read 2 books, including one on King David which had been lying around on my table since the last book sale - that's like since Aug 2011, leaving only 2 remaining books on Joseph and Jesus to finish off the pile. And I finally put on my track shoes after umpteen years of telling myself i really should start exercising. A looong time ago, i was actually quite conscientious about getting up early morning to go round the small playground/park near my house.... well, at least for a short while. Then the lazy bones syndrome set in, and those early morning walks stopped. I still get up early to do my morning tingy with God, but the bed was much more inviting than outdoors. But deep inside, i knew i really should get going again; it just kept getting postponed... like they say, spirit is willing but flesh is weak. Until God sent me 2 people on the same day, to tell me look, you better move your legs now, while you still got legs to move (talk about being threatened!) .... Both of them apparently were 'forced' to exercise, one becoz she didn't want to waste all her money already paid to a personal trainer, the other becoz of Dr's orders. So I got the message loud and clear, it's now or never... and I thank God these 2 folks were the push i needed to get me going, even tho they themselves never realised the impact they had...

A dear sister in Christ asked me a rather odd question that made me ponder a long while - am i your fren? To some, such a question would be so... duh?? But it begs to be asked and answered in this day and age when some of us can claim to have 800, (i tink that's the last count when i checked out one of my kids' listing!) or even thousands of 'frens' all over the world... online Fb, Twitter, MSN or whatever latest new-fangled social network site there is out there in cyberspace. Honestly, i don't tink having 800 names in my address book qualifies them all as my 'frens'. And honestly too, I don't fancy clicking "add fren" on a name i have never heard before makes that person my fren, even tho he/she may be a fren of someone whose name i do know . Indeed if i am brutally honest, i tink it's more accurate and truthful to classify many of my 'frens' as more of acquaintances only. Not only that, i guess many of the people in my life even , be it church members, working colleagues, family/relatives aren't ''really'' frens the way i see it. Oh ya, of coz there's a relationship bond that ties us together through social intercourse, common participation in activities, group dynamics, etc etc; all the elements that fulfill psychological theories of human sociology. But frenship isn't a theory or a number.
To me, it's a...connection that's very individualistic and personal. So, who are "really, really" my frens?? Well, for a start, i can count them all on less than 1 hand. Aiyoh, so miserably few arr - poor thing?? I beg to differ... No, I am not poor in frens , I am very richly blessed by these few. I may not see them or contact them all the time or even often at all. But they are precious to me, they teach me lots of things they don't even realize themselves. I can tell them anything, everything or even nothing at all on occasion. I can bawl my eyes out in front of them and not bother wiping my nose. I can send them long lists of prayer requests and all they reply is Done, or they give me back their own long list! I can (sometimes) talk crap, and they will listen, and then they dare tell me quite to my face that i am talking crap! To the rare 1 or at most 2 exceptionally close frens, I can confess my innermost thots, dreams, fears, sins even. By the same token, all these that I can do to my frens, they can do likewise to me. Someone defined frenship as 2 hearts beating as 1... yep, its a heart thing that's up close and personal. As I thank God for my frens, above all, I remember this awesome truth with gratefulness - Jesus is my best fren...as the old hymn goes:

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends...John 15:13

A Quiet CNY 2012

For the first time in some 10 years, we didn't balik kampung during CNY. We couldn't, as most of my folks in Alor Star were 'keluar-ing kampung' instead. One family was off to Penang, another ventured south into JB. So we were stuck in KL, and i was grouching hai, no one to cook yummy steam boat spread or tom yam prawns and this and that and the other dish for us to slurp slarp our tongues over....
A week earlier my eldest princess got it into her head to go Cameron Highlands for a break since she was on long leave. My no.2 and 3 actually preferred to stay home, so i was kinda hoping for some quiet 1-to-1 mother-daughter time with her, esp since she would be disappearing into Indonesia after CNY for the next 2 months on work assignment. But it wasn't to be, as all accommodation in Camerons was fully booked over the festive period (duh, what else to expect when its 11th hour scrambling around!!) So, there we were, stuck at home.
But it turned out not so bad as it sounds really. I mean, well, I did manage to cook up some decent edible stuff, tho not exactly a buffet spread like other big family reunions... look, how much can 4 fellas eat? In fact, i even learnt a new dish... so now i can add sweet sour prawns to my somewhat limited repertoire of jiu hoo char the next time a pot-bless event comes around!!
And we still did the normal 'pai nian' to all the KL relatives from my husband's side; the kids still got to eat CNY goodies in other people's houses and pocketed some angpows. And they still got lotsa time to do whatever kids their age do these days. We even got time to catch a movie together - Chinese no less - very handsome Nicholas Tze and Jay Chou .
Plus we maintained our regular 2 nites of Bible reading as well. I have been doing a long series on the famous faith chapter (Hebrews 11) with them. We were at Moses, and talking about how his mother in faith and no doubt in fear, still floated him off at 3 months old down the Nile river, practically surrendering and trusting in God to take care of the special baby He had given her. I rounded up with my own reflection on this - that there will come a time when we all will have to give up, let go of people/situations/things we wanna hang onto, when we realise our limitations or our weaknesses, we just have to trust that God knows how to handle it, and totally surrender to Him, even when its scary or doesn't make logical sense . As usual when the session came to an end, I asked for either prayer request or praise report from them. And it was the youngest boy who piped up "Thank God for our family" And i think it struck all of us then, at the same moment, how true that was.
Thank God for our family. Thank God He kept us together. I have no husband, the kids have no father for the past 10 years, but we are together as a family. At my lowest 10 years ago, I had been reduced from the heights of worldly success to coping with 3 young kids, a mountain of debt and a pittance salary as a church kindy teacher. But I didn't have to 'bump' the kids off on rich relatives , I never had to beg to put 3 meals (and more) on their plates everyday for the past 10 years. They may not be able to afford the smallest item from the classiest joints, our groceries are from the local (read cheapest deals) hypermart, not up-market imported stuff, but so what. Our house is no palace, the roof and toilets leak, the parquet is coming off, but its home - and its fully paid for (and it's smack in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in KL, so I am told). And hey, we are so blessed we are even able to go overseas holiday , thanks to a very generous and loving 'sponsor'.
My youngest is now 18, such a handsome young man - Korean film-star looks, everyone says. My princesses - oh, they have blossomed into beautiful young women (of coz I am biased, which parent isn't!) My eldest found a niche in an international NGO that finally gives her a chance to live out her heart's compassion for the marginalised and down-trodden of society. I thank God He put that desire into her , for surely it is His heart-beat as well. Surprisingly its my no. 2 who opted for law, following mummy's footsteps; never imagined it would be her, but well, let's see where God leads her with this... my no. 3 just managed (on practically the last day) to enrol himself into college, matriculation. How they have all grown up...Not to say they are perfect angels; hardly.
Indeed there is so much to thank God for..... most of all, for keeping us together as a family, thru all the new years that have come and gone. Not just a family bound by blood, but bound and kept in God's own hands of love, uniting us together in faith thru Jesus Christ. I am so so thankful each one of my kids know the God of their father and mother for themselves; that I didn't pass on to them a religion, that they know Whom they believe and why they believe. I am so thankful they know its not about being good or doing good, its not about a well-paying job, success, or nice things this world has to offer. They know its beyond all that, becoz they already know the Way, the Truth and the Life is only in Jesus Christ. They themselves have experienced the reality of a God who loves, forgives, saves, cares, provides and guides them into the best that He has prepared for them, now and in the hereafter, even if things may actually look quite the opposite, despite whatever else they don't have. They know their lives are held by and in divine Hands, grounded in a divine purpose and meaning beyond the ordinary. I didn't teach them that, God did...

A CNY message from one of my kindy teachers beeped into my phone as i was sipping coffee in the early morning; it read, "May God make our new year 2012 a happy one...Not by shielding us from all sorrows and pain, but by strengthening us to bear it, as it comes... Not by making our paths easy, but by making us sturdy to travel any path, Not by taking hardships from us, but by taking fear from our heart, Not by granting us unbroken sunshine, but by keeping our face bright even in the shadows....

It's the most meaningful message I have received for this CNY, and so apt becoz that's what God has done for my family over the past 10 years together. We are so blessed, God be praised.


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"... Jeremiah 29:11

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