Things Same Ol' Same Ol' and Things Different

So its the same-same story. We all greet everyone else as the year 2011 draws to a close with the same thot, same expression - aiya, so fast time pass hor... another Christmas already, another new year ahead. In about a week's time, we say hello to 2012. The newspapers will be flooded as usual with pictures and pages of 2011 events, consigned to something we call memory or history. Again people will be talking about making and no doubt breaking resolutions.
I will be hosting the usual pot-bless dinner with some old 'kaki' before we head off to count down the new year in church. Yep, we are doing the same ol' same ol' things that we have been doing for the past 10 years, ever since we joined the big family of Christ .
My eldest princess turned chef for Christmas nite and cooked up the mandatory family dinner. But this year we were blessed with a huge turkey , thanks to a loving sister in Christ, and besides my brother, we seated an additional guest (the chef's bf) at the table. Definitely more left-overs from the feast this year! The same tree had been put up a few weeks ago, except it now dangled with some newer ornaments, it stood in the same corner of the living room. And if you are game enuf to visit the malls at this time of year, there are plenty of trees decked up ever so nicely, just for people to admire and pose with for the camera. The kids as usual had hunted around for presents all over the crowded malls, right till the last minute. Only this year, they got lazier; instead of wrapping them up nicely, they just dumped the ones meant for family under the tree - save the trees, save work; after all its gonna come off anyway - can't beat that kind of logic, tho its so totally un-Christmassy. My brother - being the usual generous uncle that he is, had blessed the kids with spending money and asked me to name what i wanted for myself. I was reminded of Queen Esther who was asked by her king 2x, "What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you." So tongue in cheek, i asked my brother, if i wanted half his kingdom, would he give it to me? (he never answered me on this one, heh heh)
Indeed what present could satisfy the human heart? Diamonds on your fingers, rings on your toes, gold bars in the bank, mansion by the lake, sports car in the garage? Good health, prosperity, no troubles, no heartache? Throw in perhaps, a steady job (or for some, any job), a good boss, understanding frens, loving family... the list could go on and on. So what do i want? For once i honestly couldn't be bothered getting myself anything for Christmas; oh, there are of coz lots of things i could want, but all the glitzy blitzy stuff the world had to offer really didn't excite me anymore ; in fact it had ceased to matter a long time back, just that this year, I totally gave up the effort of even wading thru the endless labyrinth of shops - with each passing year it seems my case of crowd-phobia gets worse, maybe its just the 'aging factor', or maybe its just the little niggling voice that asks, do you need 1 more dress, 1 more pair of shoes, 1 more this or 1 more that to be happy?? Nah, not worth battling the queues for... So I told my brother, what I want he couldn't give, since I already had that which God Himself had given me 10 years ago - a love that abides, peace that's out of this world, joy that abounds - all that gives meaning and purpose to life; what more could i ask for?

Over the week before Christmas, in the light of seemingly random happenings, the knowledge that I already had all that mattered really blessed my heart....
I went out to lunch with an old lawyer fren from my long ago days of legal practice. She tells me she's seen so much death this year, her own father, family members, frens, her district assemblyman; she's had quite enuf of funerals.....Another fren sent me an email which pointed out that Jesus wasn't born on Dec 25th, and Christmas actually came from paganistic rituals of long ago, things which i already knew anyway. It concluded there was nothing to celebrate about Christmas, since its all a big sham....The Sat before, as usual, I was helping out at the street-feeding alley and sat down to talk with an old man who disclosed that he was already 66 yrs old and in between odd jobs. I wondered why he wasn't with family, he didn't say much, but his eyes said everything about rejection, loneliness, tough times past and present (and likely future). I asked him if he believed in God, he said yes, he knows Jesus. And so I reminded him what having Jesus meant - it didn't mean a life free of problems, or a life full of all good stuff. But it did mean having a God who is so much much bigger than life's problems, becoz He rose from the dead, and is alive with us. I pointed to his white flowy beard and recounted Jesus knows how many hairs he has on his chinny chin chin. The old man looked like he was going to cry as he kept nodding his head, as if willing his brain to remember why he believed and whom he believed. I did the one thing i know how to do in such circumstances - I prayed for him. Its not often I hand out money to these street-folks, I have heard too many sob-stories to fall prey to emotion. But in this case, to one who never asked and never spoke the need, I felt led to press $10 into his wrinkled hands ; to let him know Jesus cares, always has and always will . He looked up without a word, but his eyes said the thank-you that was in his heart. And i knew as much as he was thanking me, he was thanking God for reminding him of the hope that he had in Christ Jesus which no one and no trial could wrest away...... On Christmas afternoon, I followed a neighbor to visit her fren who had undergone state-of-the-art treatment of a suspicious lump pressing on her spinal nerve. For one facing such a situation, she was so joyously confident it would be ok even if her life were to end this moment, for the simple reason she knows Jesus holds her hand even thru the valley of the shadow of death.....
Some things will never change - the fact of suffering, unfairness and death in our midst, the fact that despite the questionable origin of Christmas and its misunderstood connotations due to gross commercialisation , Jesus Christ isn't a sham - and He is definitely worth celebrating about. Becoz that moment in time some 2000 years ago when God decided to connect with mankind on earth in the form of a human baby born of a virgin - things changed for eternity. That moment in time when Jesus hung on the cross to fulfil God's plan for mankind's redemption, things were never the same again. And that's why i celebrate Christmas - not for the usual same ol' same ol' things of nice presents, yummy dinners and melodious carols . But for the difference that the Christ who came has made and continues to make a difference in my life on earth. For that matter, the difference He can make to anyone who would just believe. But for Him, my sins would condemn me into a horrible hereafter, but for Him, I would never have known the peace of God that transcends all human understanding and overcomes all circumstances. But for Him, I wouldn't have known unending love, amazing grace. But for Him, I would not know what life is in all its abundance, here, now and certainly in the hereafter. That's the priceless gift I have received and forever hold dear, not just remembered every Christmas, but in every moment that i still draw breath. How blessed I am!


"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace"...Isaiah 9:6 "... you are to give him the name Jesus, because He will save his people from their sins" ... Matthew 1:21

Chasing sunrise and rainbows - a different kind of holiday

It was a recipe sure to fail. Whaddya expect if you have been warned its the rainy season and you still proceed to go anyway? And you excuse it by getting everyone to pray God will do a miracle to somehow turn the season in your favor, just becoz He loves you so much?! Duh, who was i trying to kid, man? Why should God do a miracle just to please me?! Ha ha, well, anyway that was how I justified my ill-timed holiday. Plus i had the nerve to claim God wanted me to go seek His face far from the madding crowd. Truth was i was just plain fed-up and tired of work, and wanted an excuse to get away from it all. I know, i know, actually i didn't need any excuse, i could just go. But somehow must get God involved mah...doesnt it sound so much more 'spiritual' to say "I am seeking God's face" than a plain, "I want to just do nothing"?! .... Ahh, the foibles of the human heart; how we disguise our desires with a veneer of holiness, daring God to bless our own 'things'... and that's how i ended up in Sg Lembing, even tho Dec wasnt a good time to go view the famous Rainbow Waterfall and Panorama Hill sunrise. How could I even get the idea that the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth would actually suspend the laws of nature which He had set aeons ago for kutchi-kutchi me - looking back I can only say I must have been delirious from over-work! I can just hear Him chuckling... "Child, thy name is Audacious Presumption!"

If you were to spend 8 hrs driving 500 km for the intended purpose of catching the sun rise and a rainbow over a waterfall, and you didn't get to see any of it, that's called a disaster holiday. But ah, how gracious is my God, that He didn't turn the seasons around, notwithstanding the fervent well-meaning prayers of family and frens that God would actually stop the rain so my plans would work out. Nope, instead He turned me around - to appreciate a totally different kind of holiday - a holiday that went all wrong but turned out all right...
In the beginning, I was very confident that He would grant me at least fair weather becoz the day i set out from KL was fine, and my local contact in Sg Lembing also confirmed it was fine there, after a rainy spell the past week. And like all humans so quick to pounce on anything that could support an essentially wacky (read bad) decision, I praised the Lord and patted myself on the back for my 'faith'. So I was in very good mood driving leisurely along the Karak h'way right thru to Kuantan and turn off to Sg Lembing village. Did you ever open eyes to notice the scenery along the h'ways? Its pretty amazing, all the varied hues and shapes of green on earth and greys, whites and blues up in the sky....that's how much i enjoyed the 250 km drive to this small town outside Kuantan.
Sg Lembing apparently was the M'sian El-Dorado of the past, holding its own as the largest richest tin mine in those days. It retains its old world cowboy-town outlook, there's just 1 main street, all the shops/houses are ancient, locals zip around on m/bikes w/out helmets and balance umbrellas in 1 hand when it rains (obviously safety isnt a top priority with these folks). The only petrol station operates from a mechanic shop which sells it by the bottle (I learnt too late i should have filled the tank before coming into town!) There is plenty of cheap accommodation, everyone seems to run a home-stay business - i was booked into a decent bungalow with 3 rooms, all fitted with double and bunk beds, fully aircon, attached bathroom with heater, spacious living room with TV and even kitchen available for group vacation. i had the whole place all to myself the first nite i arrived - so nice and quiet. (The next nite a group of 5 youths checked in, which led me to wonder why on earth would 3 gals and 2 guys wanna squeeze into 1 room, but well, none of my business... anyway they could bring the house down for all i cared, since i would be leaving the very next day).
I wasn't prepared for the 'ghost-town' when i first arrived... esp worried about food, coz i definitely didn't fancy maggi mee in my room, but thankfully the caretaker invited me to hop onto her bike and showed me the food court a short walk down. It was only 6 pm, yet all were already closed except 1 stall, which proved more than sufficient for my stomach, for the lady cook dished up a tasty meal of local tomato mee together with a good dose of very chatty conversation. I had an early nite, anticipating the climb up Panorama Hill to catch the sun rise.
So it was that at 5 am, armed with a torch lite, I was trudging up the steps - I had expected a stiff climb, but i didnt quite expect it would take some 700 narrow steps uphill all the way in the dark. Unfit as i was, there were many times I stopped and simply dropped flat on my back, feeling like i would die 100 times over, my heart was literally exploding out of my chest. I daren't even look up becoz i dreaded how many more steps were still stretched out and up ahead. And it was whilst lying flat out, staring at the moon above, gasping for breath, that I was reminded, how much worse Jesus must have suffered going up all the way to Calvary Hill to hang on a cross for me. I dunno whether it was sweat or tears that were wetting my cheeks as i struggled along, step by step, minute by minute, half a heart wanting to turn back down, but the other half wanting to complete the journey....

And then, i heard voices floating from below, which meant there were others climbing up as well; and kiasu that I was, that drove me to the final spurt of strength to conquer the seemingly never-ending staircase to heaven. I couldn't help thinking tho, drat, there goes all the peace i was looking forward to... 1 hr later, finally i hit the peak, only to be followed a short while after by a very noisy family of kids and adults all chattering away...geez, how on earth am i supposed to 'meet with God' like this?! And hey man, there was no chance of even catching the sun rise, becoz the whole hill was covered in clouds and mist.

But what was an obstacle turned out such a blessing for me - the 1st sign that God was setting me up for something different... The family was so disappointed there would be no glorious sun-rise they trooped off downhill after barely 5 mins - leaving me all by myself. One of them was so nice to approach me to descend with them, becoz he warned me the rain would be coming and it could get dangerous, I simply smiled and answered, 'its just a hill, what can be so dangerous?' So there, i got my wish to be all alone. No, there was no glorious sun-rise, but for the 1st time in my life, i could appreciate how beautiful clouds and mist can be. The wispy whirly twirly stuff was so thick it enveloped me all around. And i wondered is this how it must have been for the 3 disciples on the Mount of Transfiguration with Jesus?? Everything around became kind-of blurred but I could see thru and know I was still standing on solid ground. And the praises came as i watched the heavens move around me in shades of white and grey, fingers stretching out over the hills , touching the valley below, and curling up into never-ending infinity beyond.... i will never look at clouds the same way again, and on top of that hill, i opened not just my heart, but my mouth to worship the Creator of heaven and earth. I came to catch a sun-rise, instead God caught me up in His cloud. If you have never literally danced on a mountain top or heard your own voice carried by the wind, you should.... for 2 hrs I simply worshipped thru the rain. It was cold, I was shivering but it hardly mattered, becoz He was there with me. What a comfort to know the unshakeable presence of a God who envelops you in His embrace, when life's cold winds blow around you and clouds of fear come creeping in. I didnt need the sun-rise after all; I just needed to be reminded of the awesome God who holds the entire universe in His hands. How many times we lose sight of God just becoz we get caught up in the 'mists' of problems, concerns and issues of everyday life...

By the time the rain stopped, I was ready to descend - to more mundane affairs of the stomach, and more than ready to fill it up with the yummy local yong tau fu mee - better by far than our KL Ampang yong tau fu. Then it was time to hit the road, a walk-about and first stop at the only official place worth visiting - the museum. The weather however started to act up again, but this actually allowed me to rest my feet awhile and curl up with a book i had brought along. When it eased up, i was back on the road, in search of Sg Lembing's other tourist attraction - the suspension bridges across the river. Little did i know God had set me an appointment with an old lady operating a run-down sundry shop at the other end of the bridge. That's how unimaginable His ways are; to send me a complete stranger all the way from KL to remind her how much Jesus loves her, as her own widowed daughter, just like me, had been asking her so many times to just believe. This wasn't the only special appointment God set up for me - over dinner that nite, i was back at the noodle lady's shop where again the rain got me stuck, and so she and her daughter got to hear of the precious love of Christ that's waiting for them to respond. And i was reminded of God's over-riding Word that applies in every circumstance, at every hour (even on vacation) - that He wishes none to perish, and we are to be prepared in season and out of season to give an answer to everyone for the hope that we have in Christ Jesus . If for nothing else than that these 3 people needed to hear the good news of Jesus that I was sent there, I am more than satisfied with this holiday already.

It rained so much the trip scheduled for the next morning to the famous Rainbow Waterfall was cancelled. I was pretty disappointed, it looked like nothing was working out the way I had planned. The tour fella suggested i extend my stay into Sunday so i could sign up for the next trip. I was very tempted; I had come this far, surely God didn't bring me all this way to see mist and rain, maybe, just maybe He will give me the rainbow the next day..... To go back now meant i was left with no sun-rise, no rainbow, no nothing...what a wash-out holiday - literally. But I resisted, if God didn't wanna show me anything, well, so be it.... Thou shalt not test the Lord thy God...

So I packed my bags, had a good last meal of curry yong tau fu, wished the noodle lady well, and kept asking, God what's the lesson here? But it was only as I was driving home that I finally 'got it'.... How often we make fantastic/good plans to do this, that or the other. We conscientiously pray over it, about it and for it, and we assume (quite erroneously) that God will bless us and make everything work out nicely. And then it doesn't. How many times we search around trying to 'find God' in this, that or the other 'good' thing, activity, place or person (read church, prayer, pastor, ministry, bible) ...and He isn't 'there'. I was trying to chase rainbows and catch sunrises, beautiful things by themselves. But God isn't in the rainbow, He isn't in the sunrise. He is the great I AM. Life may and will disappoint us, but God doesn't; He's got surprises up His sleeve that's too wonderful for us to ever imagine even - He surprised me, right there in the car, as i was driving back all the way i came, the still small voice said , "Lo, I am with you always". Haha, i was laughing and crying at the same time... what a merry-go-round He led me - on top of the hill, thru the rain, to strangers in the weirdest places...back to where He's always been - up close and personal to me, for me. I was looking for God in all the wrong places... as i sat quietly in church the following morning, as a prelude to Christmas, the lesson was confirmed so sweetly in the Word preached....

Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign, the virgin will be with child and give birth to a son and will call Him Immanuel, which means God with us.... Isaiah 7:14, Matthew 1:23

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