Altho these days such occassions are getting rarer and rarer. My freezer is still full of last weeks' stuff which i dont bother to cook since almost inevitably, one or the other will call last minute to say not eating in. All of my 3 kids seem to be living in different time zones from me; their nite becomes day and their days become nite. I see them for fleeting moments, if at all nowadays. Our family altar times studying God's word together are also being cut down and more often than not, gets postponed for one reason or another. And to think i expected them to stay at home more when both princesses broke up with their respective boyfrens some months back. Its turned out quite the opposite. I end up bemused; was it better then when they were 'hooked' up with at least a 'steady' or worse now that they are free and swinging single, as touted on their Facebook status??? They dutifully 'report' where and who they are going out with, but that doesnt help much really. Coz i still get up every now and then to check if they are all back in their beds. Sometimes i would wake every other hour, and when i see the lite still on in the living room, i would know one or the other is still out there somewhere. Sometimes i would hear the gate outside clang, and i would breathe a thank you God for bringing Your child home safely.
It doesn't help when i open the newspapers and every other day there is a report of some youngster/s getting killed in auto accidents at 3 am after a nite out. All the more reason i find my solace and comfort in constant prayer that our Father God would watch over these kids of His becoz i know very well i can't ever, or adequately enuf.
So what's a mom home alone to do on Christmas eve when all the 'baby' birds (who aren't so baby after all) fly the nest? I have done all my 'spiritual exercise' for the day; Bible, prayer, family session. So here i am, updating my blog which has been left unattended for quite some time. I have been so busy over the past weeks, even tho its supposed to be school hols, but i hv had to go back almost everyday to handle staff appraisals, thinking, planning for the new school term etc.
I look back on 2010 and I stand in awe of what God has done and continues to do in my life. Against my own initial reluctance, He promoted me to head Mighty Kids as principal. His Holy Spirit was my inspiration all the way as I finished writing my very first book in Bahasa which is now in the hands of the Editor and lay out designer. Prayerfully, it can be launched by Jan/Feb 2011. He expanded the street ministry i have been involved in ; by bringing in my own church to participate in the followup work of opening up a nite shelter, which has been in my heart for years. Indeed God is faithful and good .
Tonite for once i am at a loose end. I recognize i am entering another season of life. The world would say i am suffering from 'empty nest syndrome' but its actually more than a sense of missing them. I recall 9 years ago after the funeral, the aloneness of an empty bed without my husband beside me, knowing i would never see him again this side of earth. But as it was then, so it is now. In my aloneness, I know I am not lonely. For His promise is true...The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you ... Deutronomy 31:8 For God is with me; He is the ever faithful One, everlasting One, blessed God, eternal Savior, Light of my life.
