BreakIn

Never thot it would happen to me (heck, isn't that what everyone thinks!), but it did. Some petty thief broke into this old house which has been my home for donkey years without any mishap, ransacked all the rooms and made off with all our cash and 2 cameras. And that with guards stationed 3 houses away by the side of my house. Go figure that one out... so much for gated, guarded and closed communities, makes me seriously re-consider whether to keep on paying good money when the very thing that they are supposed to guard against happens right under their noses! Tho, as my no. 2 princess says, its hard to blame them when the thief broke in thru the back gate. But then what good are those high fences built across our back lanes with part of my money for?! Hmmm, i knew right from the beginning, no guards, no barricades, no human scheme can really stop evil from attacking.
And attack it was, I am certain ... happening as it did, 3 days away from my India missions trip. I just thank God He protected us from worse harm. No one was in the house when it happened, all the family passports and important official documents were not taken. It's only money and things of the world that was lost- and that can be earned back and replaced anytime.

Still it hurt; any loss does, i guess. And in dealing with the hurt, i learnt something else; which just goes to prove God's word is true: that in everything He works for good for those who love Him according to His purpose. The break in wasn't a random bad-luck thing; i don't believe in luck, good or bad; i believe God has a reason for allowing things to happen in our lives, good or bad. But it was only a couple of days later, when i took that hurt in prayer to Him, that the lesson hit me. And it came only when a dear fren showed up at my gate directly after work the day she heard about the incident in the morning and handed me an angpow, insisting i use it for the missions trip that I was going for. It wasn't a big amount of cash. But what struck me was her heart. She of all people, she who needed money more than i, she who had bigger problems in her life to handle... here was someone who sacrificed her much needed little to bless me. I was truly humbled; I didn't expect this at all.

I had only informed close family and cell mates about the incident. I am thankful for all the prayers that have gone up to heaven on our behalf. Yet it is this little packet that brot tears to my eyes, when i recognized the bigness of the heart behind the smallness of the gift. Truly it speaks volumes more than the most saintly or powerful prayers offered. This was a prayer lived out in action. And i remembered how Jesus reserved the highest praise for a poor widow who gave all out of her poverty compared to the rich guy who gave out of his richness.

This gift coming as it did when i was struggling with the hurt, eased the pain of the loss, not becoz of its quantity, but becoz of its quality. And I learnt something else as well. Many times we are very quick and sincere to offer sympathy to others who suffer. But it stops there; most of the time. Its not that such gestures aren't appreciated; of coz they are, and of coz no one is obligated to go beyond that. We all have our own lives to carry on, and its perfectly understandable. I went thru this with my husband; after the condolences and the funeral everyone goes back home. That's to be expected. So it is with me as well; every Sat I minister to people on the street with problems much too big for me to solve; sometimes i feel so helpless; all i can do is pray for them and go back to my own comfy home.

...A few hours after my fren dropped by, someone else called me up and asked me point blank if i was really ok and how much was stolen; in not so many words financial help was being offered. And my heart thanked God that He would remind me there are people who go beyond the norm; not many, but 2 within 1 day restores my faith that there are human angels walking around with hearts of gold.

And having gone thru the experience, i would want to behave a little more like that. Instead of just offering tea and sympathy to someone in pain, i will also be asking, God, what else do You want me to do to help this person a little bit more?

"....Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?... James 2:16

Reunion

 
 
 
 

I learnt another of God's truth this CNY 2010 - when you are faithful in the little things, He will bless you in all things. When my dear bro mentioned he wasn't making the long trip balik kampung to Alor Star this year , I groaned. That would mean so much inconvenience to us, having to drive back ourselves in the old Proton, with none of us knowing the way around AS. The kids grumbled; i was in half-a-mind not to go back, but remembering how I had committed 9 years ago to make up for my past 30 years mistake in forgetting my family there , I decided we would all go anyway. And so it was on the eve, early (well, we thot it was early anyway) at 530 am, we started the drive back... only to find hundreds of other smart-alecks who had gotten up as early as us, all jamming up the h'way out of KL heading up north. Thank God the money invested in the kids' driving lessons proved its profitability; the 2 princesses took turns at the wheel, and finally hit AS 6 hrs later,(which was still much earlier than we expected)by mid-day. We even had time to shop around in the local mall, before somehow bumbling our way to my sis' place. Finding our way around AS for the next couple of days we were there wasn't as hard as i feared actually; thanks to God's angels (human and otherwise), we only got lost like 3 x, and no, we didn't end up in Perlis, so that's good!
There was the usual obligatory dinners, lunches, greeting faces i couldn't attach names to and giving away angpows to this, that and the other's kid/s - nothing new really. I didn't even get much chance to speak to my sisters, becoz the eldest was busy with her own schedule, the 2nd with fussing over cooking and her own daughter's family down from JB. And apart from my younger niece, who was a 'new' Christian, without my big pastor bro around, none of them wanted to go to Sunday church with us. So we pretty much did our own thing for the 2 days we were there. But but but... God works beautifully when we least expect it....
I found short but most precious snippets of time to connect with my niece's family from down south , for the very first time, I sensed a warming up of the relationship. Most times in the past, it was just hi/bye. This year, her youngest kid was the catalyst that brot the adults together... the normally reserved husband was so cordial; we joined in playing his fireworks, he even sportingly went out purposely to get ice cream and beer for my boy to try. (well, better he try under the safety of mama's eye, rather than elsewhere right!)It's a shame the non-Christians in my family haven't had pleasant experiences of Christians within the family circle. As I tell the kids, nothing shows up the sincerity or hypocrisy of Christianity as much as our daily conduct; and that is why we go back every year, to be a living testimony of God's love and goodness to others within the family. Not that we are perfect; but we try to walk the talk of being loving, respectful, filial and yet not compromising our faith to be different becoz we believe in a God who is the only Way, Life and Truth. Besides as i always say, there are bad Christians, there are bad Muslims, there are bad Buddhists, but that doesn't at all make God bad. It's people who are bad; that's the universal truth, unfortunately we get it all confused when we dare judge God by the people who profess Him.
Anyway, there is nothing i can do to change other people's behavior or perception , for none of us can control other people's lives, but I can pray and I can choose how I behave, to portray a good witness of my faith, as Christians are all called to.
Which I guess is really the message I have been tasked every time i head back for CNY ... both for the Christian and non-Christian members in the family. God gave me the opportunity , for once, to meet up with my 2nd bro alone to talk about heart-stuff. I guess its the rare family that has got everybody loving everybody else; mine is no different; its hard to reconcile years of hurt done against each other, to forget about who is right or wrong. We all struggle with issues of anger, unforgiveness and refusal to let go. Every year i go back, its with 1 dominant prayer in my heart; that God would work a miracle in the lives of my family to bring them together in the love of Christ and the love of each other.So I do what i can,the little that i can, as my bro puts it biblically, to be a peace-maker - since that's what true reunion is all about really.
And talking of reunions of another kind, even on a last-minute detour off into Penang, God keeps building relationships... instead of heading home to KL, the kids wanted to stop over Pg, if possible for 1 nite, to go to the beach. I was about to give up after searching out 4 hotels - all full house. At the 5th stop, lo and behold, right in a fantastic location (just off Gurney Drive) , in a place aptly called Good Hope Inn, there was... 1 last room available for just 1 nite, at an-impossible-to-get price considering the festive period. Ha, talk about God's blessings and favor! And it gets better - it always does when God's in the picture... we managed to meet up with my husband's aunt (whom we haven't seen in like donkey years), and her son, (also down from KL for CNY) who treated us to a most sumptous hotel buffet lunch.
And that's not the end... down at Miami beach, our fave spot, we bumped into a very very old fren - David the illiterate beach boy who's like a practical brother to my husband in those long ago days when they went fishing together as little kids, going out to sea. He was the one who took me out in the boat my husband bought for him , to scatter his ashes into the Pg sea after the funeral. That's some 9 years ago; much has happened since then. The boat named after me is gone now. Miami beach was hit by the tsunami; but is since re-built. And David... he's older, sadly he's no longer with the wife and kids, he shows me his IC now with a Muslim name. But he's still as black, his teeth are still as white, and his smile still as welcoming to us as those days. And i tell him, no matter what name other people call him, God knows his name is David, i remind him who he has been named after in the Bible - a king no less, the ancestor of our Lord Jesus Christ; he grins and nods... he understands what i m trying to tell him without so many words ... that God still loves him, that no matter how much he has messed up his life, God's just waiting for him to return. He keeps telling us we must come back for a longer stay, and he will take us out once again to Monkey Beach to enjoy some fishing, snorkelling, camping and BBQ . And yes, i am sure we will...the kids are looking forward to that ...
Back in KL, as we visit the rest of our relatives , again I am struck by that word - relationship. It doesn't matter that every year, we go to the same places, see the same people, do the same thing all over again... we exclaim over how this, that or the other person has grown, we exchange notes on what we've been up to, we wonder at how fast time flies, and its another year past, we wish each other well till the next CNY... behind all these mundane activities of the festival, I see God's hand glue-ing, repairing, restoring, expanding relationships, cementing them in the blood of His own Son, Jesus who came to be that bridge that reconciles everyone back to Him. That's His business, which He makes our business, as Jesus puts it...

...."You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven...." Matthew 5:14-16


For pix of CNY 2010, check out this link

Makeover

 

Can't believe that's me, all dolled up... it's such a novelty, being 'made over', i am like a giggly teenager trying on her first blusher and mascara, heh heh. It's been years since I last 'painted' my face. Nowadays its only a quick touch of eyebrow pencil and lipstick before I step out the door; having thrown out my makeup set long ago, i actually need to borrow from my kids if got formal occassion that needs something more elaborate than that.
But this was the full works, complete down to false eyelashes and hair stylist thrown in. Nope, it's not a heavy date, it's not someone's wedding, it's not a special occassion... just a photo-shoot for an article on women who have survived to be published in Her World, which my eldest princess talked me into doing.

She was tasked to find women who have survived traumatic life experiences, like death, disease, bankruptcy, accidents , abuse ... all the untold tragedies of life which happen to human beings everywhere everyday. I had recommended her one of our kindy teachers who just went thru a mastectomy for removal of a cancerous breast to be one of the interviewees. And then the kiddo asked me if I could tell my story of dealing with my husband's death too. So, since she had like 2 days to get the assignment done, this mama couldn't not help, right. Anyway i figured if what i say can help bring some cheer, some hope to someone who could be facing difficult situations, why not...

And that's what got me this make-over tingy over 2 hrs at a studio one evening. Seated by my side was a famous M'sian artiste - Ning Baizura - no less, and around me walked skinny beautified waifs who were there for their own foto shoot. I felt most certainly out of place...i was sure they were wondering what this old aunty with white hair is doing dolling up, ha ha. By the time they were thru with my face and my hair, i couldn't recognize myself. It was... dramatic, to say the least, tho I must confess my hair felt like wires held together with so much gel, and my eyelids felt like they had wings (the poor girl working on me couldn't find eyelashes to mascara, so she stuck on a pair of really curly obviously false ones heh heh!)

But the worst was yet to come. Posing for the shoot was a torture. I can't understand how models do it, putting up with facing the ever-flashing camera and blinding lights this, that and 1001 other ways. Plus i suspect they must use cement to plaster the smiles on. I was so awkward; the lady kept telling me to relax, look confident.... duh, how do you do that when every 2 mins, you are bombarded with instructions to put hand here, don't bend your knees, step back, step front,stick head out, pull stomach in, aiyoh yoh.... thank God they were satisfied after about 1/2 hour strutting and some 30 shots later. My poor colleague had to endure 2 changes of clothes and 70 shots! By the time they let me walk out, my eyes were smarting, my body ached from all the physical acrobatics... i was pooped..(it figures... old aunty mah)

I got home, and just for the fun of it, kept the make-up on till dinner to show the kids... they freaked out. My son hated it, my 2 girls at least were slightly more complimentary. And I had such a tough time cleaning all the muck off. I tell myself, I like being old aunty me better, and I thank God I don't have to put on any faces for Him, other than the one He gave me in the first place, because

...." I am fearfully and wonderfully made; His works are wonderful (that's me, in the original), I know that full well." .... Psalm 139:14