The brother was the one who did my house renovation some months ago. He had learnt the tricks of the construction trade from his father. Some 5 years ago, his mom who was a Christian had passed on. His father was much affected by the loss, and himself was stricken by Alzheimer's subsequently. Which necessitated this brother to take on the role of full-time care-giver for the old man.
No easy job, as those who take care of aged, sickly family members can no doubt attest to. The burdens are very heavy; looking after old people requires a lot of physical, emotional and spiritual strength. It's so much easier to just send them to a nursing home. But that's easier said than done. For some it's a finance issue - these homes are not cheap. Moreover some old folks can be very adamant in not being "packed off" just like that. For others, it's a "conscience " issue - they don't have the heart to do it to a family member.
So it was, with this brother. Year after year, he had borne the major brunt of tending to a father who can be very difficult to handle. I know of another sister who has spent years of her life, shuttling between 2 houses -her own, her parents' - and hospitals, plus juggling her own family needs and a part-time job. I know she's physically and emotionally over the top, yet she can still say Praise the Lord during the rare times we get to chat a bit over the phone. I know of several others in the same situation. So much patience is required to cajole and/or assist the aged to eat, bathe, change; all the little things we able-bodied so take for granted. And I recall my own ordeal when I was sending my husband to/from the hospital for his cancer treatments, having to navigate the walk-ways of the huge place, always getting "lost" in the labyrinth of different departments, always waiting for the lifts that seemed to take, like, forever.
So as much as there's a sense of grief when the end comes, it's also a release. Certainly we don't want to lose a loved one. Still, especially in cases where the person is already suffering so much, we know it's better to just let go. As in the case of this brother's 90 years old father who had already received Christ and been baptized some time back. The doctor said he needed dialysis for a failing kidney, amputation of a bacteria-eaten leg, and probably his arm too, since it was also infected. The family decided no point surviving in a worse condition than before, just to live. This brother knew it was time to just let God to either do a miracle of healing or bring his father to finally re-unite with his mom in a much better place, where there are no tears, sorrow or pain - indeed no more death, but eternal life in Christ. That's the joyful assurance that all Christians can look forward to, even in facing death on earth.
He recounted how humans are always counting stuff. We keep count of all our material possessions of the world - shoes, clothes, houses and (especially) money. Aptly he reminded the words of Jesus in Mark 8:36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? I was thinking how we also keep count of immaterial things - complaints, offenses and hurts done unto us - festering like poisonous thorns embedded in our hearts.
Still humans being human would rather do their own thing their own way. He told the story of a boss who sent one of his employees to the drug-centre to be rehabilitated. The young man accepted Jesus as his Savior, was totally freed of his addiction and returned to work again. When he tried to talk to his boss about Jesus, the latter said he didn't need God since he already had everything he needed - money, good life, successful business, family. Eventually the boss died of a heart attack; leaving behind everything he had accumulated on earth.
But in the blinking of an eye, especially when we look at how our children or our own white hair have grown, we are counting down to 25 years left, then 15, then 10, then 5 years left. What about the last 5 minutes before we breathe our last? Or the last few seconds...will we be like this brother's father, who can't even remember anything much, but because he's called upon the name of Jesus, he's done counting the old life; and is set to begin a new life forever more, safe and saved with God, His Creator.
Fittingly, the brother who leads worship in our street work, sang a song for his father. It's a Cantonese song titled (in English): Unreserved Love with some very touching lyrics..." nowhere can one find love long and true ...the world just thinks love comes and passes thru ..Who died on the cross and took away my curse? Great is Your love, I don't think I should deserve....Your bleeding hands proved Your love unreserved...You're my only joy and treasure on earth.. let the whole world know Your love and grace... "
A son, singing a final song for his late father, choking at some points, overcome with emotion. But it was carried through by other voices in the hall; apparently it's a well-known tune. Two others told me the same song was sung at their wedding and baptism respectively. A love song that never "goes out of date" because it's grounded in a divine love totally undeserved and unreserved, yet freely given to all by a God who is Himself love. As the wake closed with the usual walking by the casket, I looked into the coffin, seeing the face of an old man I didn't know. But this one thing I do know - death has lost its sting, swallowed up in victory, at the cross of Jesus...
"For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality." 1 Corinthians 15:53
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